I’m worried that after a great first date that this guy is ghosting me. Would guys go through the trouble of doing that?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy on a dating app, and he has been great to talk to. Then, he wanted to go on a date, so I agreed. It was really enjoyable, and he was such the ideal gentleman paying for food and holding doors open. We had really nice conversations, and he both met me at my dorm and walked me back and agreed to go to a boba place after dinner. He initiated a hug at the end, and we said our good nights, so to me, that seems like a really nice date. He said he had a good time, and when I texted him afterwards thanking him, he agreed he had fun. The day after though, he seemed more distant. He still texted to ask how I was, but his texting style seems different and uninterested. I fear that this means he’s going to ghost me. Maybe I’m just overthinking it because I’m comparing him from how he texted on the weekend to a weekday but still. Am I completely overthinking this? Did I do something wrong? Am I not seeing something? If he truly didn’t like the date, wouldn’t it have made more sense to split the bill, or cut it short? I’m at a loss at how to process what happened.

[Anonymous]

It could simply be that he didn't believe you both matched personality wise, but it's too early to tell; he may be still trying to decide.

As for splitting the bill; Men seldom do this, and when they do it's usually in response to their date ruining the experience by bringing up politics or belittling them (The one and only time I did this was when she invited herself on a date, I paid for the venue she chose, she complained about the venue she chose, and then brought up criticisms of Men as a group at lunch; particularly male gaze, even though she openly admitted she liked me for my looks... When I asked to split the bill, her "are you sure?" was met with a confident "Yes".

So, the fact he didn't split the bill shows he appreciated your company, and that you did nothing wrong. The whole purpose of dates are to see if there's compatibility and a connection, if he didn't feel one then there isn't much either of you can do. I would wait to see if he responds.

[Avicenna]

Unfortunately, people do that after first dates all the time?

[SueShe]

Allow me to copy/paste part of my answer to another person that asked a very similar question about dating sites and what is to be expected from a woman. Here it comes:

You met on a dating site, the place "par excellence" for those that only want fornication and you are asking if he is only interested in copulating with you?

You give the answer yourself to your question. Since both of you are on dating sites, it is obvious that the ultimate goal is to fornicate at some point or another.

He is simply a smart talker. Of course he wants sex and nothing else but you did not give him what he wanted after the first date and therefore, he is slowly distancing himself from you since it is basically a waste of his time not to be able to get into your pants after the first date.

He had all the expenses and no incentive afterwards.

[Joker_]

guys do that all the time

[Anonymous]

Call him