Please help, I confessed my feelings to a shy guy over text, and he hasn’t replied yet?

[Anonymous]

I confessed my feelings to this shy guy I’ve been liking for almost a year. We go to university together and take the same classes. So we talk sometimes and have mutual friends. I’m very close with his guy best friend from high school as well. I tend to have a couple guy friends.

Throughout this whole year, I’ve never really seen him talk to other girls except me. I’m the girl he is closest to at university.
I confessed to him over text 2 weeks ago, and haven’t gotten a reply. I know he read the message though. I saw him today at our exam but we haven’t gotten a chance to talk. We are in exam period so it is kind of a stressful time. Our lectures are done for the year so I won’t really be seeing him this year except maybe during our exams.

He has given so many signs that he likes me

- he always walks with me to and from class and sits next to me in our engineering class
- he smiles whenever he sees me
- he always sits near by me in the student labs
-he sometimes initiates conversation
- he’s always smiling when he is around me and helps me with my assignments and things
- he even went with me once to this formal thing when I asked him to join me, and when we were there he never spoke to other girls, even when they come up to him he didn’t seem interested. He would just come up and talk to me, and we even danced together a little. He also asked me to play beer bong with him. Before he left he gave me this deep hug, and was so worried that I was doing okay
- He sometimes stutters when he’s around me, or it seems like he is tongue tied sometimes
- I catch him staring at me a lot, Even from afar
- Whenever I initiate a hug, he always gives these deep hugs

He is very good-looking though, but he has never been in a relationship so doesn’t have much experience with girls. I don’t know if that might be part of it. But I just want to know your thoughts on this, do you think he still likes me, and wants to respond in person. Could he be waiting till exams are over.

[Bethany22]

Yes, that's a very probable idea, he's waiting until exams are finished. Guys really have a lot of pressure to do well in school and work, so he probably does not have room in his head to think about you right now. Maybe he'll respond after exams whereby he feels less stressed. Hopefully you too aren't compromising your exam results because you're too busy thinking of him.

[Asker]

Yeah I’ve been mainly focused on studying.

[Asker]

I’ve been thinking of texting and asking him to study with me for our next exam, but worried that it might not be a good idea because of the confession and don’t want to look desperate. Do you think I should

[Bethany22]

Yeah that's still considered double texting, which is something to avoid.

[spartan55]

Pro tip: NEVER ask someone out, confess your feelings etc OVER TEXT. It's almost guaranteed to fail. How was your text worded?

[Asker]

I texted that I have something important to say and then said 'I've really liked you for a long time and just didn't know how to tell you. No pressure or anything. I just wanted you to know.'

[spartan55]

Okay, that's not completely cringe... but you still need to give that message in person. Do you understand why?

[Asker]

No I don't understand why. Please explain lol

[spartan55]

Thanks for the MHO!
The reason why is because texting is not able to express tone of voice, body language, non-verbal cues, etc. You are basically eliminating about 75% of your message by texting it.

[Asker]

Oh I see... but how would I start that conversation. I don't know what I'd say...

[spartan55]

So you are ready for a relationship? You will face much more difficult conversations than this when you are in a loving committed relationship.
Another reason texting is a fail is it gives the recipient an easy out. He hasn't answered has he?

[Asker]

Yeah he answered today.
He walked up to me today after the exam and said he was an idiot for not replying. His brother came over. And then said he'd prefer to stay friends. But there was a long pause before he said that. He looked like he was at a loss for words. And it was kind of in a hurry because we were both leaving and he was taking a ride with his friend, and then told his fiend he wants to talk to me. After he said that he smiled and said he is sorry for being such an idiot. I don't know why, seeing him smile made me feel even worse about it.

[Asker]

But the thing is he also didn't state whether he feels the same way or not I don't know.
I guess I should just give up right?

[spartan55]

Well if he felt the same he wouldn't want to be just friends. Right?

[Asker]

I guess not

[Asker]

But something about it just doesn't sit right with me? Why the long pause when he was staring at me, before he said that, like he was contemplating. Is it possible he likes me but just not ready for a relationship?

[spartan55]

No, because he would have said that. I know it sucks, but take the L and move on.