Guys, He said, “men will go great lengths for good sex. How do I know when a man truly loves me vs playing me until he gets what he wants?

[Turia]

My concern is always manipulative behavior and/or to be objectified. He will do such wonderful things like play with my hair and buy me chocolate when I’m on my period; or sometimes asks me to do something other than sex (my sex drive is higher than his) because he wants to enjoy our time in different ways, like playing a game, watching a movie, going out for a walk (sometimes I could imagine he is tired or worse, trying to build up my tension). He texts me good morning and good night everyday, and tells me this is his most stable relationship. We’ve only known each other for a little over 4 months and dated a little over 2 months, so the relationship is very young. He has mentioned that he sees himself marrying me. Where I’m at emotionally, I would too! He is a great and active listener, and will redirect plans if I don’t want to do them, but I can’t help but wonder, am I just a good lay? I have my own self esteem issues I’m trying to work through. He isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. When we discussed engagement within the year, and I pushed it back, he became upset at first. He later accepted it. He is like this when things don’t turn out how he wants. He doesn’t yell or use rude words, but his tone communicates it all. I’ll admit I’m no bed of roses either! I tend to flee (because anger never felt safe for me to express) when I become upset and he chases after me to talk. However, we always come back to talk and hug it out.

[Anonymous]

You don't know for certain. That's why fucking him is always in some sense an act of faith. However you CAN get a better sense of what the likelihood is by understanding his character.

[VictorMachiavelli]

If he’s asking you to do things other than sex and your sex drive is higher than his, then it sounds like it’s not just about sex for him.

[Turia]

Thank you, I appreciate the confirmation. That helps ease some of my anxiety.

[MrCharlie13]

Stop worrying about it and trust. If you can't trust the guy, you'll never find out the truth

[Turia]

Believe me, if I could just turn it off the worry and turn on the trust I would, haha! But I keep telling myself that all relationships have the element of risk.

[MrCharlie13]

You don't have to do it alone, seek professional help if possible. Most of the times in these cases we are our worst enemy

[Turia]

Thank you, I completely agree! I am definitely a self saboteur because of my own anxiety attachment. A good reminder that I do need to need to work on it.

[spartan55]

He has every right to worry about being manipulated by you too.

[Turia]

Absolutely! I want to prove to him that I am sincere and am trying treat him well; while I’m working through the fear.

[spartan55]

Wow! Finally a rational response to a simple observation about accountability.