Search Results: choice of love

There’s this girl who I fell for about a year and half ago. I might be an idiot but she’s the most smart, funny, kind, and loving person I’ve ever met. We both had a dark moment in our life when we met and we grew so close together that we messaged each other so much like good morning and goodnight and knew each other so well. One day I wanted to ask her if we can become more then friends, she said no because of cultural differences but it’s different than you might imagine.. I also screwed up and I said “quit playin games with me” and I still to this day can’t forgive myself for that. fast forwarding about 5-7 months later we grew even closer, I tried again. I found out she was talking to someone else. I’m not the type of person who will never let a girl talk to other people, everyone has their own choices. I was definitely hurt and we stopped talking to each other for 5 months. 5 months pass by she messaged me saying : I missed you and you probably hate me. I replied back with I don’t hate anyone, I don’t hold grudges. I asked why she decided to message me after all this time, she said because she misses me. I honestly miss her too 🥺 but I can’t do another “friend zone” with her because she is the most perfect person in my eyes. But she can only offer a friendship. Should I move on, I’d hate to lose this person truthfully. But I don’t want to be depressed again when I fall in love with her again with her beautiful personality.

So we're both 17, very close friend, she is very shy, we go home together almost every day, now she wants me come with her in the mornings too cuz we get in the same bus.

So, when we first met 3 years ago, she used to touch my shoulder every time she told me something, pulled my backpack to let me know she was there. She also fell on me by accident quite a lot. We were awkward at that stage and she once talked about exs to let me know she never dated, then asked if sb in my old class was my girlfriend (she wasn't). She also tried taking a selfie of us just as she said she doesn't have enough storage and hugged me when I was down. She also threw a surprise party on my bday.

One year passed. We could now talk about anything. This time, she was more confident and also shared more info about herself. She stopped bumping into me, pulling my backpack. Now, she was twirling her hair or playing with her straps when she saw me. She also pretended not to see me when walking close to me but slowed down a lot until I reached her to go: "Oh, hi!". She got me an eclair for my bday.

Yet another year went by. She is always very interested in my well being, always over-apologizing. She once did something bad after I helped her and went 2 hours over her bedtime texting to make sure everything was ok. After I said that I was happy to have spent the day with her and that life is about choosing what makes you happy, she texted "If life is about choices", "You chose well 🙃".

She is curious about my past. When she sits next to me, her legs are crossed, one of them towards me, wiggling it. Her head on her arm resting on that leg. When we're together, we're close enough for our hands to touch and she always compliments me saying "You're very smart" or "You're really mature compared to me". Recently, she got all hyped up (blushing, asking if she can tell her family, smiling a lot) when I told her about sb in love thinking it was me to then go nothing u can do when I told her it's a friend.

this is a distance based interaction
She wanted to comfort me when I had a problem and I told her not to worry anyway she was like good luck you’re not with me and I knew it was my choice if I blocked her or not or just ghosted her but then I told her I wouldn’t leave her and then she started to get really intense about her feelings towards me.

She started to mention things I’ve done for her and then she was like over text I want to kiss you. She started to send love hearts to me and opened my messages a lot faster

why is it that when I refuse to leave her she seems more and more attracted to me and wanting me?

Just for the record it is not racist if you just find certain ethnicities physically attractive.

Physical attraction isn’t a choice. Race is also a bullshit victim excuse some people use who can’t handle rejection (if it was due to looks). If a minority girl isn’t physically attracted to me because I’m white then she’s just not attracted to me. I might be disappointed but it’s just how it is. Not her fault because physical attraction isn’t a choice.

However if you do find someone of a different race attractive but won’t even give them a chance because of unfair prejudices that’s a different story. It’s one thing if you took the time to get to know them and you just found them incompatible. But quite another if you intentionally stayed away despite finding them attractive otherwise.

Anyway I have have dated outside my race plenty of times. But often found these women brought up racial differences more than I did. I had an Asian ex girlfriend who would say “ah white people” occasionally when she was frustrated with me over something. It didn’t bother me the much because she was young, beautiful and in love with me for a long stretch. But I rarely brought up race when dating and if I did it was usually positive (she was a good cook).

But still I truly believe women consider race more when it comes to dating then they will admit (white girls especially won’t admit that).

Again I do NOT think it’s “racist” to admit you don’t find a certain ethnicity attractive (but respect them otherwise). But I think women are secretly more picky about this.