So I’ve been dating this guy for a year now, and we’ve known each other for years prior. I don't know what has happened in the last few months but we’ve just been arguing a lot due to stress and he’s gotten violent (which he never has before) he has put his hands on me ever since and blames me for why he does it. There’s been multiple occasions where he’s done it in my apartment (I live alone) or at his house (he lives with his family still.) I’ve never called the cops because as stupid as it sounds, I love him and don’t want this to ruin his life or his record. His family and mine both know about the abuse, my family has been willing to work with him and his family has told him obviously he cannot put his hands on me. Friday was just the last straw. I had to get ready for work and him and I weren’t even in a fight at all I think we were just annoyed with each other like any couple and he would make sly comments and so I just went to the bathroom to get ready for work. Out of nowhere he just storms down my apartment hallway to the bathroom and smashes everything off my bathroom vanity onto the floor, put a huge scrape in the wall, hit me in the head a couple times. I had no choice but to call the cops. Now were on a temporary protection order and he had to go to court today. Still haven’t heard anything. My landlord said she’s banning him from the property now. I’ve never felt so depressed about something in my life. I don't know what to do. I know him and I clearly need some time and he needs to really work on himself but now the police are involved. My landlord won’t allow him in my apartment anymore, we literally spent every day together. I want to be with him as crazy as I sound but I truly am in love with him. I hope he realizes I had to call the cops for my own well being, I never did it for any malicious reason. I know all this sounds so toxic but I don't know what to do. Any advice?
Can my relationship ever be repaired after this?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
It will be really hard for you to be without him now since you are used to spending so much time with him. But you don’t want to end up dead, one day he can hit you 3 times harder and you’re dead. It’s the reality, a lot of people die after toxic relationships. You are going to have to be strong and not let him back in. Please choose yourself. You are strong and you can do it even if it might not feel like it now. He will keep doing it and you never know how much worse it can get until it does. It’s not worth it. Choose yourself.
When you’re in a toxic relationship it’s hard to see anything clearly. Your emotions are in a fury, and your mind can’t reason with logic. This is true however. Nobody who breaks free of such a dangerous and potentially fatal situation ever wishes to go back to it once they are living a new version of life. Move on. You’ll be fine. Pain is temporary. You will absolutely find someone who can love and appreciate you for who you are. You stay and you may bring children into the equation, the violence WILL escalate, and you’ll hurt yourself in the long ru with bad decisions.
Once a man begins to physically assault you, he will feel more comfortable to smack you again in the future when you piss him off wheather you are at fault or not.
With time you will begin to physiologically break down and adjust to getting smacked around and blaming yourself for it as his gaslighting you has taken significant effect on you by that time.
The abuse will continue on his part which can eventually and in most cases of domestic abuse ends in the person getting murdered.
Get rid of him for good and ignore his BS pleas.
Find you someone who respects you and doesn't see you as their personal punching bag.