Can a relationship move on if it became healthy after years of not being it?

[Anonymous]

Hi. Me and my boyfriend had a not so healthy first 3 and a half years. There was lying, breaking boundaries, yelling, arguing, and so on. However, the last one year something changed and we stepped on the road of a healthy relationship. Great communication, understanding, gentle approach, honesty, etc. We are happy in the now, we have truly found each other, but the past does hurt from time to time. We are such good partners that I can't throw it away now, but people keep saying that if there was that much hurt in the past, it won't be repaired ever. I need advice on what I should do with this whole thing.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, love's rocky road, right? Here's the deal, transforming a tumultuous relationship into a beacon of health and understanding is nothing short of a miracle! It seems like you both are doing a fabulous job of turning the ship around. Remember, the ghosts of relationships past can indeed haunt us, but they don't have to define the future. It's like taking a bad first photo; you don't throw the camera away, you learn how to take a better shot next time. The key is acknowledgment, forgiveness, and laying out a strong, communicative foundation based on the lessons learned. Keep focusing on that gentleness, honesty, and, most importantly, on the love that has blossomed from those hard lessons. Surround yourself with those who support your growth and love story. Seriously, anyone who's telling you it can't be repaired might just not understand the depth of transformation a true partnership can undergo. Keep watering your garden, and watch it thrive! Love isn't always perfect, but it's the imperfections that test its true strength. 🌱💕

[boggboss]

U said its great now so why are u still thinking on the past unless u are not openly communicating or hiding it from your partner

[Asker]

Because as the other comment said, the past can haunt me sometimes. Let's create a fantasy example. He used to purposefully break my favorite plates and lie about it. Now he accidentally broke another plate a year later, and in the present, he doesn't do it on purpose anymore, it really was an accident, but my mind brings me back to the time he did it on purpose. Do you get it this way? Or I have another one made up example. Let's say it used to hurt me when he went out with friends because I was scared that he might love his friends more than me. Now I am sure he loves me more than he loves his friends, but when he goes out, I remember the time when it used to traumstize me and I feel sad.
This is why the question is "can the past ever be left in the past"

[boggboss]

I think u might need therapy to get fixed

[Asker]

If it can be fixed, I am willing

[boggboss]

So try therapy