How do you know when it's time for a divorce?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have been together for almost 5 years, we've been married for 1 year. We're both 22 (very young) I love him to pieces, but I sometimes question if I got married too young or if I married the right person for me. He is the total opposite of me, he's loud, outgoing, & very affectionate. He also needs a lot of reassurance. I experienced abuse/trauma in my later teen years. However, as a young child my parents always fought and never showed affection so I am terrible at being affectionate & giving reassurance. I feel like sometimes he doesn't truly understand that or what I went through. Both of my parents had anger issues and my mom was severely depressed. I also have a low sex drive I assume due to birth control because I had a high sex drive prior, but I cannot afford to have a child right now. He gets upset if I don't have sex with him if he wants to have sex. He also says we should have sex at least once a week I sometimes give in just to shut him up so I don't have to hear about it later on. I also, sometimes find him unattractive, but other times I find him very attractive. I don't really know how to explain it. He however, doesn't have very good oral hygiene which is a turn off for me. He says he brushes his teeth once a day, but I believe sometimes he doesn't brush them at all. He also wants constant hugs and kisses from me and I am not very affectionate as I said so I struggle with it. He's also very messy. He said he'd help clean our home, but he doesn't. I do all of the cleaning, dishes, & laundry. I even have to pick up clothes off the floor and pick up trash he leaves laying around. In addition, I am feeling tired and depressed myself. I work all day to then cook, clean, shower, go to bed, & do it all over again. I don't know if my marriage was a mistake or if I made a good choice. He's a very sweet person and he does a lot for me, but I am feeling overwhelmed.

[DarkWinterNights]

Some of that may be birth control related if you’re on hormonal bc.
I think it’s a bit too soon to be throwing in the towel. It sounds like there may be a few underlying issues but because they persist other minor things are starting to press you and you’re becoming resentful. You should probably look at getting some professional help for yourself and maybe some couples therapy. Divorce should be a final option, because it will complicate your life. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, and so many people these days would kill just to have a partner who loves them.

[Anonymous]

Half of marriages end in divorce today and women file 80% of them. This question seems like a great example of why that is.

No marriage is ever perfect, and ANY successful marriage takes constant work, compromise and effective and open communication. You two have challenges, but none of them can't be overcome if you both are committed and willing to COMMUNICATE and put in the effort (like every successfully married couple does).

My theory about why modern marriage is in the toilet is that women today have no sense of commitment. Please prove me wrong.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

You don't need to divorce.

Just have a honest conversation with your husband and tell him how you feel and how it's badly affecting you.

The problems you mentioned are all 100% fixable.

[Anonymous]

why dont you people use paragraphs?
anyhow when you said you love him to pieces i assumed you meant in a serial killer way.
Negating the need for an actual divorce.
hope you get away with it

[eagle1951]

time to move on