My boyfriend gives divorce vibes?

[Anonymous]

My longterm boyfriend comes from a family of people who are all divorced, his parents, all his aunts and uncles are on their second or even third marriage. Even some of his young friends who got married are already divorced (he's 25) and this is normal to him (I do not know any families who are divorced I don't really think of it as an option). I don't know why but I can just see him getting divorced in the future, he's a bit negative and gets in pissy moods for like months at a time when he's not happy, he's not good at bouncing back from things. He wants to marry me and loves me so much (says I'm the only thing that makes him happy) but this is concerning to me. I can't help but think about when I am not making him happy in our marriage, as is eventual with any long term union for some periods, he will get in one of his moods and end up divorced, maybe he is not positive enough for marriage and has had too many bad examples in his life. Am I wrong to worry about this? I don't want to be mean but I think his family is a bad sign. Is there anyone here who came from a similar situation and had a long happy union?

[DaKnow1]

My girlfriend was super unhappy, depressed and full of anxiety when we first met. She used to also say I was one of the only things that makes her happy.

We have now been together over 4 years and the growth we've gone through is incredible. She finds joy in other things now cause I help open her mind. I help her not see things in such a negative way all the time. Ya there's still bumps here and there sometimes, but nothing like before.

I saw all the red flags early on but I felt like I could handle it because I know a lot about psychology and I'm naturally a very calm person. She really tested my limits in the beginning and I had to get a therapist for myself so that I had some extra protection from the negativity, irrational thoughts, and just to have someone say "ok, this is normal, this is not. And this is a you problem not a her problem" or vice-versa.

If she wasn't such a committed person I would have left a long time ago. She really puts in the work on herself once she understands why it's important. And I've slowly seen more and more improvements, which makes me feel better about the future.

If you aren't prepared to put in work like that or you don't think it's worth it, then you should end it sooner than later. My situation was pretty extreme but I recommend counseling/therapy to everyone. Even if there isn't a lot of problems. We see a
general doctor just to get check ups but we don't do that with our mental health.

[In_Trance]

Come on...

[TrueConfection]

My parents were divorced (mother twice). I've only been married once and it's been over 20 years.

I think a better indication of where your boyfriend stands on commitment is to look at his life. Does he quit when things get too hard or does he persevere? Does he get mad at his teammates and quit the team or does he stick with his commitment until the end?

You're right to worry if he holds resentments for long periods of time!

[TrueConfection]

Thanks for the MHO ❤

[LiamJHayden]

Listen to the vibes.