Search Results: fear of failure

Found this quote, I feel the pain for all you frustrated nice guys out there !!!
turn it around boys !!

The "friendzone" is essentially a state where a guy (usually) is attracted to a girl (usually) and needs to act (flirt, talk openly about his attraction, make his interest apparent) but he doesn't (out of fear/insecurity/uncertain ty), and instead attempts to gain the affection of the target girl through less direct means. Unfortunately, this creates a situation where the girl is completely oblivious to the attraction and simply perceives the guy as overly nice, clingy, and fawning (or worse, as weak, strange, and groveling). She will probably just see him as urgently seeking her friendship, and may (or not) allow him to be her friend. Meanwhile, she will simply carry on her day-to-day activities, which may include finding a romantic partner on her own. This creates a situation where the guy will become frustrated and redouble his indirect efforts, never realizing that the reason for his entrapment is his own failure to be direct about his attraction. Inevitably he will fail and be frustrated, and rather than realizing his own folly will attempt to blame the girl (or her boyfriend, or "all women") for his failure. Even if the girl becomes single again, the guy is unlikely to maneuver himself to take his place, since his inability to be direct will ultimately lead to his own downfall.

Yes there are varying levels of attractiveness, and in high school there is a status type deal so I can see leagues existing in that immature enviorment more, however if you keep yourself in decent shape, dress well, and talk smart, no one is really out of your league.

I personally lost my hair to a condition a couple years back and I'm a 20 year old white guy, have to shave it bald up top now, but you know unlike other people at no point was I like 'well I can't get the kind of girls I find very attractive now, I better adjust standards' I personally wouldn't date a girl I didn't fibd to be physically a 7 in terms of attractiveness at least, and that's something I'll never change, yeah I've been turned down some but everyone has, you just keep going for what you find attractive until one returns it, you shouldn't have to settle and that's why I think leagues are a mindset that only exists because people don't even take the chance thinking it's futile. So what you just go for someone you find plain then? I really think leagues is just an excuse to not go for what someone really wants due to fear of failure, I'm a 20 year old guy with no hair on my head, I'm pale but you know my face and eyes get a shitload of compliments and I stay slender, so despite it all, I'll still go for what some view as 'above my league' because I don't fear the fall from taking the jump.

I know it's more like a my take here, but I wanted to see if others agree with what I have to say about leagues etc. So what do you feel on the subject?

note that while I do think there is a general view of what is attractive or not, there is a lot of personal input, some friends don't get why I'm so attracted to a slender girl with no breasts etc when I just see her beautiful face and healthy build etc