Search Results: how to tell if someone is interested

I really don’t like when people are like “text me”…no you text ME. Long story short, I matched with someone on bumble a few months ago & meeting up fell through the cracks (my fault). I reach out to him maybe a month ago & he didn’t reply, figured he wasn’t interested and we end up matching on another app last wk which shocked me. He reaches out, I told him I tried reaching recently on bumble & he said he didn’t know bc he hasn’t checked the app in a while. We’re in the works of potentially meeting tomorrow & he suggests a place/gives info on the place then says “we’ll have better communication if you text me (gives #)”. I only message on the app & kinda hold off on giving my # anyway but still would’ve preferred “could I have your number?” This is how I feel🤷🏻‍♀️

*OLD= Online Dating*

For context, I matched with someone from a dating app around May this yr. We spoke for a few weeks & he proposed meeting up but the times he kept bringing up weren’t working for me. He ends up reaching out again when he was back from traveling & tried to schedule something, I didn’t follow through. At the time, I was overwhelmed with a new job & just not in the best headspace to meet up with anyone in person from OLD. About a month ago, I felt like I should’ve given him a shot & then sent him a well thought message asking if he would give me another “redo”. He never replied so I thought he wasn’t interested, flash fwd to this week & we end up matching on another app I just installed.

He reaches out saying he remembered me & I told him that I tried reaching out to him around a month ago. He said he didn’t know because he hasn’t checked that other app in a while and said he was sorry for leaving me hanging, asking if I’m willing to give him another redo and then brought up that we live close by based on the app. Tbh if I was him, I don’t think I would’ve given me another shot. I know we’re strangers & there shouldn’t be too much stock placed on randos from OLD apps but I would’ve been sus, thinking this person only wants to talk to me b/c it didn’t work out w/ someone else etc.

Am I too critical or anyone else get where I’m coming from? Again I’m not trying to seem like I get too attached but I try to be wary, since we all know OLD apps can be sketchy.

We’re currently in a dating app era & the idea behind dating apps seems practical yet you hear more bad than good things about them. Almost 30 & I’ve never been in a LTR, I have accomplished everything I currently want out of life but been able to find a quality guy. I’ve owned a condo & strive to eventually own a home in a few years, are dating apps to blame behind being single or is there more to it (aka am I the issue)? I’ve been told I’m attractive by all kinds of people for a good chunk of my life but I’ve never been approached in person by a guy I’d like to date (getting checked out doesn’t count).
The only times guys I find attractive have acknowledged me were on dating apps, it’s just there’s times where maybe I feel burnt out & can’t be bothered to end up meeting that guy in person.

Or when I feel like I have *options*/ I’m in a mood where I just don’t want to put in the effort. And when the app outlook looks dismal at a given moment (like now), I consider deleting & reinstalling at a later time. I get bored after communicating too long etc, it may seem like self sabotage topped with my terrible anxiety but I’ve never felt SO unsure about something in my life & that *something* is dating. Unsure if my lack of libido/lack of interest in being sexual might play a part (no health issues). There’s always that voice in the back of my mind that makes me think the right guy will change all of that but who really knows. I’m worried I’ll be shriveled up & when I finally have that drive, it’ll be too late to find a match. I heard an influencer say the other day that there shouldn’t be pressure or a rush to date, it’s an opportunity that’ll always be available.

TL; DR: Is dating hard for most? And is my case bad luck or someone unsure of what she wants?

Long story short..

I talked to a guy and let him know in the beginning that I wasn’t looking for anything.. I told him my emotional wellbeing is a priority and that I’m not looking for sex or a relationship BUT we could talk until he moved… I was guarded and kind of wanted to push him away… I also post sexy pics…

I gave him a hard time but I felt he was logical and patient.. he wanted to know the safest way to talk to me and he said he didn’t want the whole placeholder thing… he said more sweet nothings like “I shouldn’t punish everyone for someone else’s sin”

I told him I was willing to take things slow… and that’s when he pulled back and I confronted him.. he said he was being careful..

He admitted that he felt that I was unstable before the date but it wasn’t in a rude way…we went on a date it Flopped a bit … we both could have done better.. I could have talked more and explained my situation more and he talked about my pics and just said things that hurt a bit… asked when I was last intimate. He just didn’t seem that interested and I wanted to wait until marriage for sex

he ghosted me