Search Results: getting used by a guy

I am in my mid twenties and never been in a real relationship. The one guy I did date, I felt like I had to settle because no one better came around. He was a decent person but I wasn’t physically attracted to him. I was always under the impression that my lack of attraction from guys was because of my weight.

A few years later, I’m still thick but definitely smaller than what I was before. I don’t have friends so I have to use the apps to meet people and as you’d assume it’s a disaster. I mean I’m told I’m cute, some say pretty etc but I just can’t find a man. The ones I was physically attracted to only want sex and the ones that pursue me have decent personalities but they’re too short for my preference or just not attractive to me.

I see women often that are average or maybe heavier than me, with guys I find good looking, and really wonder how they were able to find them. I feel if I settled with any of the guys I mentioned I attract, I will always feel bothered at the fact that I can’t get the kind of man I really want. So that’s why I stay single, it seems permanent considering I’m only getting older and told myself this would improve as the years go by.

And by the way...

It's not okay to fault him for having and expressing feelings, or being vulnerable, or deeply caring about something, or being disappointed, or being afraid. He's human, just like you. And shunning him for it is a shitty thing to do. It hurts him just as much as you hurt, when you're not supported, and treated like shit. There is no difference in the pain.

So why do some of you not like it, why do some of you lose attraction to him?
I'll answer what you will never say. Because you think he must be stronger than you. Why? Because you feel weak, yourself, and because if he's not strong, all the time, then you can't be weak and vulnerable. That's the real truth. It's not about his masculinity.

"I have been mocked and have had my emotions used against me by both men and women. Vulnerability is only good when exercised properly depending on who you are with. Do it the wrong way, you get punished."

So next time, instead of telling him, or implying 'man up', maybe you should 'woman up.' Get stronger, so you're not reliant on him to always be the only emotionally strong one.

If you don't, and you teach guys that being vulnerable to you is only going to backfire and cause problems, they're going to stay closed off, not trust you (or any of us), and feel that the greatest gift that women used to offer guys - compassion, support, tenderness... doesn't exist anymore. And that will be on you. On those of you who reject men for showing any sign of vulnerability. You want this?

And this?

He's also these...

I'm giving y'all anon on this one. Speak your mind. But be constructive. I'm getting fed up with all the rage and toxicity.