Why being attractive as a girl isn't all that it seems

[Sangyoul2020]

I wanted to do this myTake for a while.

For this myTake, im talking about the average pretty girl, not the celebrity type. And yes, i get that there may be some benefits to being attractive (ie possibly more boyfriends, gifts and favours from boyfriends) but not all of us can benefit from it. For ex, my background (esp religion, culture) require me to wait until there is a strong chance of marriage to even date let alone sleep with a guy.

1. Increased (?) danger. I dont have stats, but i can't even count the times i've almost gotten raped/assaulted/felt threatened in an enclosed space without cell reception.

2. We don't necessarily have better dating chances. Many people think attractive women all get rich guys but thats not always good or true. Many rich guys are often asshole who think they own you because of their money and "treats". Men sometimes dont even bother asking you out because they assume that you have/like someone else.

3. Stereotypes: People assume that we are mean or fake, and girls don't trust us. Some people assume that we are high maintenance (not all of us are).

People also assume that we don't work hard at our jobs and that we got where we are using our looks, when it is not true. Some of us actually work overtime and weekends a lot (I work full time in a law firm. I'm older than my profile).

4. Unwelcome comments/actions:

Bosses joke that they like having my photo on their website. He says, "Gets clients." Boys also draw pictures of me in a bikini (and dares to show it to me), make unwelcome comments about how I'm "born to be looked at" and how they (another boss of mine) want to see me in a "wonder woman costume" at an office party. I mean this guy is old enough to be my dad. I believe that this amounts to sexual harassment.

5. Being blamed for other girl's heartbreaks. I will explain with examples. So one time i was standing in a group of people while volunteering at a charity event. I was next to a girl. A guy randomly comments that im good looking. Worse, he adds that the girl next to me is unattractive, all within earshot. I mean I'm not even talking/looking at this guy!

Another time, there was a guy in church that i liked. We had a good conversation. After a church meeting, i asked him to walk me home and he said yes. But he had forgotten that he was supposed to walk another girl home. He cancelled this girl (fatter than me) in front of both of us! The girl was understandably hurt and went home by herself. However, I was later blamed by her and others, even though i had no idea that the guy double booked himself beforehand.

The girl remains cordial with the guy, even if he is the one that cancelled on her. Me? Im the EVIL BITCH.

This happens a lot.

6. The BIGGEST downside is this.

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Wait for it

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The cattiness, jealousy and isolation.

I started a new paragraph to show that...I have to take another breather here. This reason is the BIGGEST. The amount of trauma and torture that an individual or a group of insecure girls can inflict on a seemingly (because beauty is subjective afterall) is GIGANTIC.

Other girls will hate you without getting to know you. They will spread rumours about you. They will steal from you. I have gotten threats of physical harm from girls (ie making me fat by feeding me things, spiking food/drinks, shaving off my hair, permanent scarring). They will assume that everything in your life has been and will be always easy and glamorous, when that is far from the truth

These will often lead to isolation, physical and mental trauma, trust issues etc. When you try to talk to someone about it, you are told "be more understanding/just take it because you have more" or "try being nicer" or "talk to her/them" etc. I've actually considered therapy because of this.

[Anonymous]

Wow that's crazy, all we average looking men have to deal with are;

Being invisible to literally 99% of females unless we speak to them
then being considered "creepy", perverts, scum, rapist, stalkers, pigs, etc when we do try and talk to them.

There is this ASSUMED danger when we are around women like we are inherently evil even though 99% of men are not evil.

We have little to no dating options and have to fight constantly to find someone.
When we do find someone we have to fight constantly to keep them or else they will flake the second someone else comes around.

The stereotype that we are all gross, disgusting, perverts who can't be around women or children without wanting to rape them, which stops people from hiring us when there are those groups involved.

The unwanted hate and blame for everything wrong in society, the added expectation of being held responsible for all women's choices and mistakes.
Not having ANY support in society of any kind, like the endless women only groups, clubs, housing, funding, support, scholarships, health care, shelters, etc etc etc. And being expected to put ourselves in danger for the safety and protection of women and children, doing 99% of all deadly jobs, etc.

Which essentially all leads to the male suicide rate being at epidemic levels, because of the isolation, lack of care, and endless hate.

So , I guess what I am saying is that if given a choice... MOST males would choose to be part of your pity party over the shit we have to deal with.

[White_Widow]

It's true what you wrote. But I do want to point out that what the mytake is about girls/women who are "attractive" and whilst it might not be as big of a struggle as what you mentioned, it is something attractive women/girls struggle with. And I'm not saying this like being attractive is worse than what you wrote. But it is BOTH a struggle.

[msc545]

Very well said.

[InferiorElegy]

I was about to post this same exact comment, however seeing it here means I don't have to.

[mobiusforniner]

It's not that hard you guys. You're just being LAZY. I'm not an attractive dude by any means. But I have my SHIT together. And that alone got me tons of ass. So stop moping around complaining about why women avoid you and DO something about it.

[InferiorElegy]

@mobiusforniner You don't know our lives and what we've been through, you can't fucking say stupid shit like we're lazy, up until almost 6 years ago I did everything to try and get a single date, didn't work and also a lot of my rejections were that I was too ugly. Having your shit together means fuck all even 6 years ago I had a car, a bike and a house, cars paid off, bikes paid off and I've got 3 years left on my mortgage, I've got a job and I have 2 bank accounts that I never allow to go below 20k each. I work out consistently, I have great hygiene. My house and vehicles are always kept clean, so I'd very much say I've got my fucking shit together and have for a very long time, but that didn't do me any good when trying to date.

I'm going to speculate something about you now, you might think you're not attractive but you probably are, you probably come from a pretty privileged family, you sound like a white knight but also treat females like conquests "And that alone got me tons of ass." You can only focus on 1 point at a time because the only thing you understood and took from his comment was were ugly and can't get dates even though there were other points made or the topic of the comment which you clearly had not understood.

[t-8900]

@White_Widow yes but the perks of being a pretty women FAR outweigh the cons. They have money and business opportunities thrown at them. They have the pick of the litter of men. They have the media and society backing them. Being a pretty woman imho must be the greatest experience on earth because the world is your oyster.

[kstout6]

@White_Widow Why can't I upvote this?

[MarkusCopeland]

@mobiusforniner If you'd read what he was saying, it had nothing to do with all the "ass" you're claiming to get. He was talking about basic human emotions and expectations.

Read the comment you're responding to next time, please.

[MarkusCopeland]

@t-8900 While true, if the extent of their misery is minor slights as an attractive person - they'll never be able to understand those who are constantly looked down on as they've never had that experience.

[mobiusforniner]

@MarkusCopeland nah im just tired of the guys who complain about life. Honestly im not attractive. I was and still am very much on the intellectual/nerd side. Got looked down on all the time. Got picked on in high school. But instead of complaining about it, i did something. Defined myself. Found myself. And guess what? After that, it was no problem for me to meet and date women. I found myself with the awkward challenge of rejecting women. Women want men with confidence. Men with assurance in themselves. Yet sensitive where needed. Too many boys on GAG complain about being single virgins when their entire world revolves around sailor moon anime and dungeons and dragons. Look in the mirror folks. Girls dont just come knocking on your door.

[JustinTimberlegs]

Yeah I agree, being attractive you attract more unwanted attention, jealousy and drama. Any argument made usually results in comparison or doesn't get taken seriously.

Looking at the comments as an example, the asker wasn't even saying her problems are greater or worse than others, but posted to list some of the unexpected problems that come with being attractive. Yet, people are dismissing the problems and comparing it to others? It's not a competition for who has bigger problems, she's just saying it's not always the blessing that it seems to be.

Everyone has their problems and struggles, it doesn't always mean one is greater than the other. You might struggle with getting a date, she might struggle with building genuine relationships, someone else might struggle with family, another with drugs. They are all real and valid struggles.

Thank you for the mytake, I thought it was well put together.

[Kaamraj]

If as an average man, you're not getting dates than you can't build relationships, however as an attractive woman who is getting many dates of her choosing, she has as good chance of building just that.

[JustinTimberlegs]

She's not saying it's easier than being an average man, she is telling us why it's not as good as it seems, that there are negative things that you might not have considered.

[Halibut]

@Kaamraj On a side note... I would guess that being a beautiful woman is, on average more difficult than being a man. Between safety concerns and menstrual cramps... I like my ability to pee standing up. Even the the (I think) more extensive social supports that women get are probably largely a reaction to decreased safety. If a guy gets desperate for relationships and take risks... he'll probably be fine. If a woman gets desperate for relationships and takes risks, she might be in danger. That said, which sex has it worse is going to depend on the person and their situation.

[MCheetah]

I can respect your opinion and all, but I just don't agree with it. Being tall and attractive, especially as a female, is like living life on easy mode. Because of this and the way almost everyone favorably treats tall/attractive people, these people tend to get an inflated ego and don't even realize it most of the time because no one ever tells them no.

And why would you even say "We don't necessarily have better dating chances. Many people think attractive women all get rich guys." Rich? That seems like a very odd and specific thing to say. The assumption would be that "Many people think attractive women get all sorts of guys attracted to them, but these guys tend to most often be jerks because the decent guys are too intimidated by us." The fact you made it about rich men and not the quantity of men is a red flag, right there.

Lastly, there is nothing you can't do to just "de-beautify" yourself. I have a female cousin who complains about this exact same thing. She's 5'9", 129 pounds, very fit, blonde, and from the Dutch side of the family (the ones with all the good, non-trash genes.) She never wears makeup, ever. She looks like Amber Heard (but not an evil bitch, however), but acts like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory, not that I watch that show. She's super-introverted, very intelligent, generally a misanthrope (like me), and obsessed with computers. She's getting her Masters in computer science right now back in New Jersey. She mainly dresses in unattractive, conservative clothing, but because of her natural beauty (guys have accessed her as being an 8 on her worst day, despite not owning makeup), she complains about the same things you do. However, she doesn't get the attention you're claiming you do, nor she treat males badly.

So I am related to someone just like you OP, and can tell you all that you say is the most first-world of First World "Problems," because like my cousin, you could always just "ugly up" yourself and be left alone. You likely secretly want the attention.

I got her a portrait for her birthday two years ago. This is what she looks like.

[Sangyoul2020]

I do ugly up myself. Same thing still happens.

[Explorer91]

I don’t quite agree with the tall/ pretty female thing. I’m not sure if you just idolise models or you know a lot of tall women. But height isn’t really equated with your life being easy or not for most women. In fact a lot of taller women I know wish they were shorter.

[MCheetah]

@Explorer91
Most people I knew back home were taller than me. Due to all the personal evidence, I'm holding on to the belief that taller people have it easier in life. Men more so than women, but even 5'10" women get treated better in society than 5'10" (short) men.

[kstout6]

Let me add my 2 cents. Attractive guys who are also nice guys also suffer from a lot of this. Let's start with the jealousy. You are in a locker room with other 9th graders. We see each other naked. You happen to be bigger than the rest. They are going to feel "less" than you. Then, they start to be overprotective of their girlfriends, to the fact that they want to fight you because you asked Ally if she did her part in the group project, they get venomous, and when you try to tell them and show them that you are not interested in stealing their girlfriend, they call you a fag. You get into fights because you look too good. Even if you knew how to fight, they will gang up on you. This is the norm.
You think girls are the only ones that receive unnecessary comments? I have had my ass grabbed, catcalled, touched by older women, and peers, and was told to enjoy it because I am a man and that dude would love to be in my position. Like I had no say. Who can I say this to? Dude, Mrs. So-and-so, put her hand in my pants, I don't know what to do. "How about a high-five!" WTF?
Stereotypes. We all have stereotypes. I was called a faggot most of my middle school and high school. I was just shy around girls and the social anxiety made me not want to deal with it. It was worse when female predators took this as a sign as I was a sub. I guess I was, but it was because I did not enjoy it and I was embarrassed and ashamed. The last thing which is the worse, is the increased danger. OP said she was almost raped. Average-looking women have been raped, so her point is moot. My point is that no one bats an eye when a boy is raped. Why was I shy all of my teenage years? Why did it take so long to start looking for a relationship? I had no voice in this society. How many domestic violence shelters do men have? How many do women have? How many men can admit they were raped when that is considered a good thing or even a funny thing? Fathers and mothers protect their daughters from predators, but ignore their boys.

[hannahjo022]

I can relate to everything on the list. People can be nasty. I know girls who are very attractive but they are not the nicest to be around. I had females friends who I thought were friends would use me to get guys because I hang out with cute guys. My closest guy friend's girlfriend did not like me and called me the usual names (slut, whore, etc). Dating makes difficult because attractive girls get manipulated easy and end up dating crappy guys. Guys just use us to make themselves look good and take advantage of us. Guys will call an attractive girl ugly to make them feel better about themselves. I heard many "ugly men" call me ugly when they are not the best looking guys and their personality is ugly too. I can relate to danger due to men catcalling me when I go walking on my walking route. Had a man the other day trying to talk to me while I was walking he turned the other way. I had a man honked at me and when I walked passed him he droved up slowly to check me out. So creepy! So yeah I can relate to the list

[MrPlentiful]

If no one wanted to steal money it wouldn't be valuable. If nobody wanted to harass women they wouldn't be prized

[hannahjo022]

@MrPlentiful what are you trying to say?

[Coulis]

@hannahjo022 yes, yes and yes. Sorry you had to deal with that hater.

[MrPlentiful]

U shouldn't whine about getting harassed. The less ure harassed, the less people will value u. a lot of men want women because all men want women. U can prove that by how some uglier girls are so popular with men simply because they managed to make a few men like them and it snowballed. And then everyone started competing for them

[hannahjo022]

@MrPlentiful I am not whining about getting harassed by you asking what you are trying to say.

[sam19012]

@MrPlentiful some women do complain of harassment or even fake it to make it seem that they are "high in demand"; low self esteem is ultimately unattractive and almost pitiful. No one in the right mind would compete for them.

The most prized women are those who are respect themselves and are therefore, respectable. Men can't harass them, they keep well out of their range. Such women don't "need" men to prove how likable they are, they are well aware of their worth.

Harassment -the real kind- doesn't increase or lower a woman's worth.

[Lliam]

Really good MyTake, Sangyoul2020. It had to be said. I appreciate your honesty and courage in bringing up points that many people have not considered. And I'm ashamed of those whose comments show that they didn't understand what you were saying. They proved your point.

Beautiful (however that term is defined) or pretty women get a lot of unwanted attention from men. And jealous women can be downright mean.

On one side, good looking people get more opportunities in life. That applies to both men and women. There are studies to prove it.

Attractive women often get special treatment. Some of them take it for granted. I've heard stories about when they get older, they notice not getting such special treatment anymore.

But then there are the downsides that you mentioned.

I've heard plenty of beautiful girls/women say that men are often too intimidated to talk to them. They assume that the girl is out of their league and don't even bother to talk to her to find out where her head is at. Lots of beautiful women are really nice people with healthy values and normal hopes and dreams. They don't have inflated egos. Instead of being approached by decent guys, it's often smarmy or otherwise creepy, egotistical players who approach them with one thing in mind.

Not every girl is looking for a millionaire who looks like a movie star. That's a myth that guys with low self esteem invent to rationalize their own psychological shortcomings. Some of those guys have a low opinion of women in general. They have a chip on their shoulder and don't even like themselves, and then wonder why women don't like them.

[SunnyFlorida]

Don't worry, time will cure your problem, your looks will fade and you will miss them. Your looks are an asset, use them for your long term goals. 30 is not the new 20. Find a life-time partner while you are at your most desirable state.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/vhhgI4tSMwc

On your first point, increased danger you "felt threatened in an enclosed space without cell reception." This is on you, you put your self in that place and are only your feelings, not necessarily reality. If you are really worried about your safety, get a license to carry a firearm. With a firearm comes great responsibility; use it improperly and you will go to prison.

The workplace situation sounds borderline sexual harassment. You have to clearly communicate that you are not interested in the sexual comments. In most cases, it is repeated unwanted sexual advances for sexual harassment cases.

In the example with the church volunteer, where a man cancelled with a fatter woman in front of you. He did it in front of you to show that he liked you. Would you like to trade places with the fatter woman - permanently? Have men overlook you for prettier women? If not, be thankful for your God given blessings and make good long term use of those gifts, such as finding a quality man for a long term relationship and have a family, while you still have the pick of the litter.

[Sangyoul2020]

1. We can't carry firearms in Canada. We can't even use pepper spray or any protective equipment.

2. This happens on public buses, elevators... pretty anywhere with men. I once got grabbed by man in a department store. Another time it was on a busy street. He tried to kiss me. Everyone lives in their own bubble/busy looking at their phones and it happened too quickly.

[Sangyoul2020]

Im actually in my 30s. Still happens the same.

[SunnyFlorida]

@Sangyoul2020 Sorry to hear about Canada's policies on self-protection. I can't protect you from bad legislatures. I am sorry this is happening to you. I suggest stop looking on your cell phone and watch your surroundings. Get a car, avoid public transportation. Here in Florida, you can keep a gun in your car without a license. See F. S. 790.25(5). This has its own problems with people carry firearms without proper training on when the deadly force can be used. But I feel safer with a bunch of guns in law abiding people's hands.

[Rab1901]

I'd still rather be attractive than not attractive, and I believe most attractive people would agree. I'm sure there are attractive guys who can also come up with something like this, not to discount what you go through though. I truly believe all of these negative aspects are true, and it really does suck because people think you should have it all figured out and have nothing to complain about, like you should just suck it up. It's awful and I wish more people would listen and try to understand, but I truly believe it's better to be attractive whether you're a guy or a girl. One thing that can help is talking to the right people. There are truly good people out and maybe talk to other attractive girls so you know you're not alone. There are actually plenty of very attractive girls out there for you to talk to although you might be shy to talk to them. If you're shy, you can take steps to be less shy from advice on the internet. Youtube works well. If you don't think there are many very attractive girls, then it's more of a humility problem than anything. I don't think you have a humility problem though.

[Adaeva]

The gorgeous women

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it,
And I wish I could afford to gather all such people into a gloomy castle on the Danube and hire half a dozen capable Draculas to haunt it.
I dont' mind their having a lot of beauty, and I don't care how they flaunt it,
But I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.
But no, they insist on being stealthy
About the pleasures of being pretty,
And the possession of a striking figure
Makes them think that to say how hard it is to attract a man is their bounden duty.
You cannot conceive of an occasion
Which will find them without some suitable evasion.
Yes indeed, with arguments they are very fecund;
Their first point is that beauty isn't everything, and that they have no beauty anyhow is their second.
Some people's beauty is merited,
And other people's is inherited,
But wherever it comes from,
They talk about it as if it were something you got pink gums from.
Perhaps indeed the possession of beauty is constantly distressing,
But I should be quite willing to assume every curse of beauty if I could at the same time assume its every blessing.
The only incurable troubles of the beautiful are the troubles that beauty can't cure,
Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are ugly.
Certainly there are lots of men that beautiful women don’t attract, but it's very funny -
Have you ever tried to attract them without beauty?

[CuriousJC]

As much as I can tell you, everybody has their own personalities their personas their emotions their desires all that builds up as you grow into a person. Nobody can tell you that you're attractive, you have to make yourself want to be attractive or try to find someone who wants to understand you. There's a lot of people out there who are jealous of other people. For an example: take a muscular man exercising and showing off his six pack abs and all the ladies are attracted to him. Then out of nowhere, another much more muscular guy exercising and showing off his 8 pack abs causing all the girls to be attracted to him instead of the previous guy causing that guy to get jealous because he has more muscles than him. It's the same way with women too, these days certain type of men always judge a Woman by the characteristics. So you shouldn't really care what anybody says or think about you because in the end you are your own person and it's up to you to make yourself attractive. But then again, it's not really a competition. Who cares if you're not attractive or beautiful, some men like me just prefer women to just be themselves and eventually the attractiveness, arousing, and sexual turn-ons towards that woman will eventually take it course like nature.

[Shizunk]

Just to confirm, I do in fact have a lot of prejudice against attractive women who go out of their way to really stay on top of their game. I automatically skip them and wouldn't think of considering them as long term partners normally.
There is an element of me thinking I dont stand a chance. But upon inspection I found out I instictively believe a lot of stereotypes. For example that attractive girls are more promiscuous, more likely to leave someone for a superficial reason or just because he's no longer fun enough. That they are entitled and expect more from their partners and would judge more harshly any weaknesses a man has. I know attractive women may have a hard time finding a man, but I always thought that's because their standards are too high. Successful career women who are also attractive may have especially limited pool of men to choose from.

Something to think about for me. I certainly didn't realize I make so many assumptions about people I dont know before I considered this post. However, the reason I wanted to comment here is that very recently I did start to think about an extremely attractive girl as a good wife material. And do you know why? She was very upfront about her intentions and values without me bringing them up. And I ended up respecting those very much. So even a brief conversation can be enough to shatter any stereotype.

[ohshee]

I absolutely love your my take. If you have ever read any of my answers you no did I see beauty in a whole different way I look from the inside out I want to know person on the inside the real person I want to see that beauty because really that's where true beauty lives that's where the beautiful heart is a beautiful soul beautiful words in the beautiful wisdom come from. That's where the confidence is. That's where the happiness is. That's where the smile comes from. The outside is just a bonus. I wish everybody got to read this you're might take the way I got to there's no picture of you all your g i f s
I could not see, so it was just you and your words, that in so many different ways we're sad but in so many beautiful ways so true. Even though you painted a picture of hurt and pain. About living life as a beautiful person I feel that the anger it's just a moment in time. That you had to get off your chest because this is the way men have made you feel and I also believe that after this moment the next moment becomes Pure Energy I'm saying it's okay I know who I am within. You can see what you want to see. But if you don't look deep. You're not going to see the beautiful me. The old saying don't judge a book by its cover is so true. Well I hope a lot of men and women read your post because I hope it teaches men and women something that is so very true

[Anonymous]

Listen, I really don't care for your sad life. Yes call me jealous lol. 1 big ass fat problem I have with your post is number 1. The audacity you have to think being pretty is what causes "sexual misconduct" is beyond me. I am ugly per say, let's say less than average I have been getting sexually harassed since I was a child, you wanna know why? I guess not. Anyway, its because sexual misconduct is not really about your looks lol. I know shocking, its a power move. Or maybe even a sexist entitlement of a man in the street. I was 8 when I got harassed the first time I am sure I didn't look "hot". Sexual assault is bigger issue. I clearly remember 1 of those "attractive" girls yes she had a hard life like urself. An average girl told her and I that she got harassed, and the attractive girl had the audacity to say that she was lying because no guy would want that. Especially with her in the room like why would he harass u and not me. Harassment is not a competition its a crime that could be committed against literally everyone. So stop tryna paint it as a "pretty girl problem" cause its really not.

[DianaWest]

why do you care what those bitches and cunts think? lowlives will be lowlives. don't let it affect you and cause you to lose your health over it. i am quite attractive myself and deal with a good deal of hate myself, but i tell them to suck my pussy (directly or indirectly). as for the dangerous situations, i know how you feel. just make sure to always be around a lot of people, preferably close to a police station, fire station, hospital, or public place you can quickly run into in case anyone gets aggressive. i always scan to see the nearest store, coffee shop, subway station, grocery store, community centre, etc. i coudl walk into. i am always aware of my surroundings. i always scan the place i am in for the closest exits. i observe people to see if any of them are suspicious (i. e. drunk, yelling, pacing back and forth, looking at people in a funny way, etc.). and if they are, i get the hell out of there. i avoid any potential dangerous situations. and try to avoid walking in dark, isolated areas by yourself. try to be with a group if need be.

also, i am respectful to those who respect me, but i also know how to be a big bitch when needed. focus on your family and those who love you and appreciate you for who you are. focus on meeting a nice man and having a family.

the opinion of people who disrespect me is about as valuable as the horseshit underneath my boots

[joeblow123]

@DianaWest

"but i tell them to suck my pussy"

Let me see what I am dealing with.

[Anonymous]

You're not lonely cause you attractive. You're lonely because your social skills suck. There is good and bad in everything. Being ugly has none of those issues but issues you will never know. Learn how to fight or don't be at wack ass parties where u can get raped. I don't go hang out with gang lords. Don't go hang out with bad people. I've heard models don't get asked out much but tbh get over it. You can literally ask the guy yourself... Did that ever cross your mind. You're so poopy pants you can't even see the answers to your issues. It isn't your fault some girl gets heart broken. The world runs on value. Get over it. Crazy how girls keep complaining about being good looking. There is bad with being rich, the is bad with being the best at something, but there is a good side to everything too and you are not lonely cause you're ugly... You think nerds and ugly people don't get called stuff? God like stfu. You have a gift and you waste it looking at the bad side. So pathetic. You don't appreciate it because you were born with it.

[Sangyoul2020]

1. Im not lonely. I have other friends who experience the same things. The point is that there was a time in my life when i was in a group of girls who thought that they were less attractive. It was in a church i liked. They told me straight up that they dont feel good about themselves around me. I even tried ti make myself less attractive, but it didn't work. It has nothing to do with social skills.

2. The whole point of this article was that being pretty isn't 100% great and it is debatable whether the benefits outweigh the cons. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Oof. I can relate to these as well. Many of these things happened to me too. However i was actually very ugly and still dealt with these same problems but for seemingly different motives. Needless to say girls didn't like me. today I'm not ugly anymore.
i had them too: Jealous assholes, insecure assholes, simple assholes and bullies. At home and outside. But that thankfully changed as soon as i got a job and started making my own money and moved out on my own. It was then that moment, that i could surround myself with normal humans and not idiots. I can finally look good.

Increased danger since bullies and aforementioned assholes target the weaker ones and take their anger out on us. It also creates the illusion of them going up by tearing others down.
We don't necessarily have better dating chances.
no explanation needed here.
Stereotypes
one stereotype of the ugly is that we do that to ourselves or that we are incompetent in life or born to be failures. Pfft.
i will continue later this post

[Opinion Owner]

*Unwelcome comments/actions*
For ugly persons there is no explanation needed here.

*Being blamed for other girl's (or guys) heartbreaks.*
Alright, this is actually something the ugly persons can't be really blamed for unless of course the ugly ones make more money or know how to dance better or something of that sort. Point made. Assholes and bullies however might still blame us regardless - even for something like it snows. AKA they keep taking their anger out on us still.

*The cattiness, jealousy and isolation.*
I mean like if someone is ugly, they'll still be hated without getting to know them and spread rumors. Although to your credit if someone is ugly, they won't really have to face much worse by facing threats or having our beauty damaged - other than maybe losing our teeth by being beaten up or mobbed.

All in all - you do have some valid points, that beautiful people don't necessarily have it better in all ways. I'd only like to point out, that beautiful AND ugly people alike face many similar if not the same issues but for different motives. We're in the same shit together 🤔

[Anonymous]

I will STRONGLY agree with your last point. I do think that there’s a difference between girls who were BORN beautiful and the ones who “became” beautiful through a “glow up”.

People assume that we are conceited, but for someone who’s been beautiful her entire life, that’s not so because I didn’t get a chance to exactly “appreciate my beauty”. For example, when someone has a “glow up” (Kylie Jenner) she gets to appreciate her “new found looks” and it DOES make someone conceited, BUT for those of us who have been highly good looking all our lives, we don’t have our looks to compare it to anything else, but that doesn’t mean that people see us the same way and it’s no wonder that they may get it wrong and attack us for it.

People think that beautiful girls are so up their own ass that putting us down won’t do anything to us, but that’s bullshit. The uglier girls get treated nicer because people think they already have it tough and that may not be accurate because they could’ve gotten all the positive reinforcement when they were little, whilst us beautiful girls were put down by our jealous mother and/or siblings. So, being BORN beautiful isn’t necessarily what people think it is.

I will admit though that in dating it has been the biggest blessing for me. I can absolutely have anyone I want. I’m not scared of rejection and that made me initiate my current partnership with my boyfriend. I feel so confident about my looks that it makes me even more attractive to men and it’s easier to have a boyfriend so I’m happy about that.

[mobiusforniner]

Many of the dude responses on here are harsh and honestly unbecoming of gentlemanly behavior. Its kind of pathetic they feel it necessary to blame the victim for something outside her control. I know attractive women in their 30s who do experience the issues listed here. I helped one of my friends deal with a stalker and this event was very frightening for her. So for all those dudes who are blaming the poster for being shallow, perhaps have a look in the mirror and realize you'll never have ir deserve the attention of an attractive women, personality, looks or otherwise.

[igaveyouanickname]

Yep, I can relate and sympathize. I was a skinny 16-year-old kid defending my "hot" mom against drunk biker dudes at art and wine festivals. She was very shy when she was young because she was the school's "pretty girl." She told me all of the stories and things she had to deal with.

I'm an attractive guy and have to contend with random women approaching me all the time. I was chased around the playground since I was 8. I wouldn't be able to handle it if I was a woman because a lot of men are awful and way more physically-aggressive than women. I would probably be in prison for murder.

[joeblow123]

@igaveyouanickname

It's very difficult to imagine a group of bikers at an art festival. When I hear the words "art festival" I think of a group of artists that get together to sell their paintings. Somehow it is hard to believe a middle-aged overweight woman with thick horn-rim glasses introducing paintings while speaking in a PBS accent while a group of bikers in the audience yell "show us your tits".

[silvermoon84]

I used to feel hurt by other girls’ jealousy and cattiness but as I got older and got more life experiences I started to have a different outlook on that situation: when others try to compete with you out of jealousy, you’ve already won the competition. I’ve never had girls threaten me, but I’ve been isolated, bullied and ignored so I get what you’re saying. Also, the unwanted sexual advances, not being taken seriously, catcalling, etc., yeah a lot of guys like to “think” we miss that shit when we get to our thirties but as someone who passed thirty seven years ago, I genuinely don’t miss it lol

[Cherry234]

I'm sorry about your experience. Some people are bullies and can be very mean. Even though I'm attractive, I don't think anyone hates me for no reason. I know that not everyone likes me though. I haven't ever been accused of being mean or fake just because of my looks. But I've been told how could I not have a boyfriend since I'm pretty. Even though I'm considered attractive, that doesn't mean I necessarily have better luck with guys. I've even had some bad experiences with guys (one blocked me and another one screwed with me and stopped talking to me)

[Coulis]

I feel you on this.

I am currently being stalked. I can feel the eyes on me when I go out.

I get a lot of attention and you don't know what's good and what's not.

Re the catiness: even here on Gag people will accuse you of being delusional and having an inflated sense of self when you have problems that come up as a result.

This is brave writing the truth about it because these are all things that happen when you have a je ne sais quoi about you.

[emilym12345]

Who is stalking you?

[Coulis]

This dude who I was interested in who was hiding that he was married. Told him to leave me be. Unfortunately, he works right across the street frim my hiuse and he watches me non stop. Who I talk to. My ex husband when he comes to get the kids for visitation. He will show up on off days and sit outside my house.

He doesn't speak to me just watches my entire life.

My friends