This myTake is more focused on the attractiveness in the context of heterosexual relationships. If you are willing to learn and clear any delusions you have about this topic, then you came to the right myTake.
Is it shallow to desire an attractive partner?
It’s not shallow for anyone to desire an attractive partner. It would only be shallow if you think looks are the only thing that matters and you ignore their personality. That’s the definition of what shallow means. It’s when you decide to look at the surface and ignore what’s inside.
So which matters more, looks or personality?
They both equally matter. Anyone who disagrees with this is lying. On a biological level, looks matter a lot because they represent the genes that you will/could pass on to your offspring. As I said before, looks represent a certain trait that you have, and most people base their mating decisions on what is best suited for the environment and what trait is the “healthiest." Almost every organism on this planet cares about the genetics of their mating partner because they want their offspring to be successful enough to survive and pass on their genes onto the next generation. Humans are not any different about this from other organisms. Personality matters because it determines how compatible you are with someone. This is why it takes a long time for people, especially men, to make a longterm commitment with their partners. In the context of relationships, this is how the term “chemistry” happens between two people because it is based on personality and looks whether you are consciously aware of this or not.
Who is more likely to say that looks don’t matter?
That’s an easy question. Unattractive people are more likely to say that because, based on assortative mating, they don’t have much of a choice on how physically attractive their partner will look.
Do words change how physically attractive someone is?
What you think doesn't matter because it won't change how physically attractive someone is. For unattractive people, no amount of your positive words will change the fact that they are below average in looks and no amount of their confident words will change the truth that looks matter. For attractive people, no amount of your negative words will change the fact that they are above average in looks and no amount of their humble words will change the truth that looks matter. Looks will subconsciously affect people’s judgement of you no matter what you say.
Personality doesn’t change how physically attractive someone is
The way they treat you may lead you to dislike them as a person and make you uninterested in dating them, but it won’t affect the way they look on the outside. A physically attractive person (8+/10) will still remain physically attractive whether you like or not. They may be ugly on the inside, but it won’t turn them ugly on the outside.
Does physical attractiveness make someone more likely to cheat?
Physical attractiveness has nothing to do with whether or not someone will cheat. I hear people making up all sorts of nonsense about attractive guys being more likely to cheat. There is a bunch of people saying that girls will constantly approach him and steal him from his partner. I wonder if their “theory” also applies to attractive women. But on the other hand, there are people saying that girls don’t approach guys. All those people obviously don’t know what they are talking about. It’s not the physical attractiveness that makes someone cheat, it’s their morals. If an attractive person wants to cheat, then they can and will. If they are committed, then they won’t. It shouldn’t matter how many people approach them each day because it’s up to them to decide whether or not they should turn down the offer.
Is it okay to be mean to people based on their looks?
Absolutely not. We don’t get to choose what we look like. It’s not okay to attack someone who hasn’t attacked you first. Unlike me, most people are emotional to some level and they have feelings so it’s not okay to hurt their feelings just because you can’t stand how physically unattractive they are, because you are jealous of them for being physically attractive, because they are too “confident" about their below average looks, because they are not “humble” enough about their above average looks, or any reason that has NOTHING to do with you. If any of that makes you offensive/butthurt, then you have some serious issues and you need help.
Do leagues exist?
Yes, they exist. I’ve noticed that people who deny that leagues exist don’t want the truth to shatter their fantasies… They also make up false evidence such as overrating one partner and underrating the other when, in reality, their ratings are close…
You will never see Zayn Malik dating a woman like this
You will never see Gigi Hadid dating a man like this
Why do leagues exist?
It’s because of assortative mating. People generally tend to pair up with others that share some similar traits as them. Not all traits are similar between partners, but the most important ones such as physically attractiveness, income level, and education level tend to be the most similar between partners. These traits can be good or bad. For example, people who have above average looks tend to seek out others with the same level of attractiveness because they are biologically desirable (they know it) and they have a much higher chance of being with someone who is just as biologically desirable as them.
Are realistic standards the best?
If you don’t want to end up alone forever, then it is a good idea to be more realistic about your dating standards. If you don’t mind potentially staying alone forever, then don’t change your standards. It’s your life and no one really cares about it but you.
Sincerely, the brutally/blunt honest 10 out of 10 guy