Search Results: get back out there

I went out with a guy for the first time last night. He did kiss me at the end of the night. I was thinking back, and there have been very few times that a guy kissed me at the end of the night that we didn't go out again. This made me think about nonverbal communication. Is it true when a guy kisses you at the end of the night that there is a good chance you will get another date.

So to begin with I felt kinda sorry for him because he was in a car accident, ended up partially paralysed and his wife left him.

However, he later told me he’d had at least two other accidents where he’d been driving about 100mph. The 3rd one happened because he hit a tree driving at 120mph, which caused him to be wheelchair bound. This was just after the birth of his 4th child about 4 years ago. So immediately I just think it’s selfish that you’d risk your life like that knowing you have a wife and 4 children that you could potentially leave behind.

Now he’s in the process of divorce, he’s told me all about how she’s been toxic and deliberately damaged his car a few times. He also told me she’d said she wishes he’d died in the accident one of the times they were arguing. And she also voiced she wished she could sleep with a celebrity. She also told him that one of their kids wasn’t his.

For me, all of that immediately then put me off because it sounds like there’s been toxicity in that relationship, but I wonder if he put so much pressure on her that she snapped. I’ve tried to suggest that he should work things out with her as they were together 17 years and I think she maybe had attempted to fix things at one point, but he was too stubborn. He’s now adamant he’s ‘moved on’ and is wanting to date me, I’m beginning to wonder if it’s a ploy to rub things in her face and get back at her.

thoughts?

For context, my brother has been dating his girlfriend, P, for two years. I absolutely adore P—she’s like the sister I never had. Long before they began dating, however, I met her brother, T. He and I are in the same grade, only about six months apart in age.

I first met T in seventh grade, when he was still a bit of a “geeky” guy. By the middle of eighth grade, I had my first boyfriend and met P for the first time around Thanksgiving. Back in seventh grade, I had a small crush on T, but it was nothing I ever considered acting on.

During freshman year, T and I had science together and started talking occasionally. I began to realize I still liked him. As our siblings grew closer, so did we. Whenever we passed each other in the hallways, we would exchange smiles—he has the cutest dimples when he smiles.

By the end of freshman year, I wanted to ask for his number, but I was too nervous. He was talking to someone at the time, and I didn’t want to overstep boundaries; if I were in that girl’s position, I wouldn’t want him giving out his number to other girls.

I hadn’t seen him for about three months until today, when we had back-to-school night. He was there with a friend, and he smiled at me like no time had passed. Later, he came over to my house because he, my brother, and P were going to the lake. When I saw him, my heart skipped several beats. I tried to keep my cool, distracting myself by making cookies and watching a show.

I don’t know if he’s dating or talking to anyone. If he’s not, I’m wondering if I should ask for his number and get to know him better. Before pursuing anything, I would make sure P was comfortable with it, because the last thing I’d want is to betray her trust or cross a boundary in our friendship.