Search Results: how to lose my fear

I run faster than the speed of sound, but I can never run faster than the pain, the fear, the sadness that is looming in every corner of my suffering that is life. I have my friends and even my own videogames, but I don't have my happiness, and I'm afraid no amount of gold rings will ever make me feel good, make me feel loved. Every day that I force myself to wake up I tell myself "maybe I'll get more speed, maybe if I run and spin faster, I'll escape my problems" but the day doesn't go better. It's the same bullshit every fucking time. Spinning through hoops, running and collecting rings, until finally I reach the goal and have a short moment of relief from my existential agony, until I come to realize this will happen again and again and again until I die as a helpless, depraved hedgehog. My competitors, Mario, Link, all of them, are moving on, getting new and varied games. Hell, even that former lowlife waluigi has become a popular meme and is cared for. Yet here I am, at square one just continuing to progressively die inside. This mental instability of mine doesn't help in this endless struggle, thus I look forward to the big day. The day I finally am released from my pathetic existance. Maybe I'll do it myself. It's all over anyway. I've lost all hope that has been crushed by reality. There is only regret and the occasional anxiety attack in my life, so I might as well end it all. **I mean, gotta go fast! Haha.**

I have a girl best friend and I love her a lot but I know that for her I am her best friend only she doesn't have feelings for me. I want to propose her and tell her how much I love her but I fear I will lose her if I tell her this. Even if she says no and says we can still be friends I know things will be awkward and will change for the bad. What should I do?