Search Results: anxiety issues

30F either DA or FA, want to say I’m some kind of avoidant. Based on life experiences, are these pretty tell tale signs I’m probably…well not attractive? I’ve always questioned how almost every pretty woman I’ve come across is always in a relationship with an equally attractive guy. When I was chubby younger, I thought losing weight would solve everything and it hasn’t. I feel like regardless of what anyone else says, I’ll always wholeheartedly believe attractive women have no issue finding a partner & they have life easier. I’ve been told I’m attractive by a variety of people for most of my life, even when I was chubby. I’m not thin, 5’7 women’s US 10 so midsize but I have that thicker thigh/flatter stomach build. The only time I get attention from guys I find attractive are on dating apps and that’s not telling in my opinion. I’ve been told this guy looked at me/this guy found me attractive from other people but the guy never makes it known to me. And there’s been very very few times where I would see an attractive guy making eye contact with me or at least caught my gaze but I just look away b/c I don’t see the point. I’m anxious/reserved but a lot of people with anxiety are in fulfilling relationships.

Last thing I’ll add was being bullied pretty badly as a kid, again I was chubby so I know this played a part. Worse in middle school, I didn’t have to be homeschooled but it still sucked really freaking bad. And in HS but not as extreme as middle school, HS was more mean girls if anything. As an adult at old jobs, I did have confrontation/clashing w/personalities too. And let’s not forget shit bosses. Since I’ve worked remotely for the past few years, I haven’t had drama with coworkers or mgmt. Let’s hope it stays that way, I’ve had to deal with toxic family members too but that’s a thing of the past.

I’M SO CONVINCED THESE THINGS DON’T HAPPEN TO ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE

Since 2001 we have been wrestling with men and with boys to talk about his feelings, and don't be a Gorilla and hide them. .. we went out to schools, Summer camps, hosted events catered to young men all around America since 1998-2001 encouraging them show more emotion and be open about how they feel. And have emotional intelligence.

This is what we've come to Avoid and overlook.

here is a case study

Brian is often told to express his emotional side and show emotions however his father takes a bwlt a whips him and Sister tells him"you're a boy! You must remember that!" His mother scolds him for crying or showing any emotions that people encourage Brian to show..



This heartbreaking case study illustrates the stark contrast between societal expectations and harsh home realities.
Brian's Dilemma:
Encouraged by outsiders to express emotions → Contradicted by family members who punish/emotionally abuse him for doing so.
Consequences:
Emotional confusion
Fear of expression
Internalized shame
Difficulty forming healthy relationships
Systemic Issues:
Intergenerational trauma (father's behavior likely learned from his own upbringing)

Lack of emotional support and validation
Impact on Brian:
Emotional numbing
Decreased self-esteem
Increased stress and anxiety
Potential long-term mental health issues (depression, anxiety disorders)
Break the Cycle:
Safe, supportive therapy for Brian and his family.
Educate parents/guardians on emotional intelligence and healthy expression.
Address intergenerational trauma through family therapy.
Encourage positive male role models and mentors.
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233)
Childhelp (1-800-422-4453)
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline (1-800-950-6264)

Key Takeaway:
Societal encouragement of emotional expression must be matched by safe, supportive home environments. We must address systemic issues and provide resources for families to break cycles of trauma.

We’re currently in a dating app era & the idea behind dating apps seems practical yet you hear more bad than good things about them. Almost 30 & I’ve never been in a LTR, I have accomplished everything I currently want out of life but been able to find a quality guy. I’ve owned a condo & strive to eventually own a home in a few years, are dating apps to blame behind being single or is there more to it (aka am I the issue)? I’ve been told I’m attractive by all kinds of people for a good chunk of my life but I’ve never been approached in person by a guy I’d like to date (getting checked out doesn’t count).
The only times guys I find attractive have acknowledged me were on dating apps, it’s just there’s times where maybe I feel burnt out & can’t be bothered to end up meeting that guy in person.

Or when I feel like I have *options*/ I’m in a mood where I just don’t want to put in the effort. And when the app outlook looks dismal at a given moment (like now), I consider deleting & reinstalling at a later time. I get bored after communicating too long etc, it may seem like self sabotage topped with my terrible anxiety but I’ve never felt SO unsure about something in my life & that *something* is dating. Unsure if my lack of libido/lack of interest in being sexual might play a part (no health issues). There’s always that voice in the back of my mind that makes me think the right guy will change all of that but who really knows. I’m worried I’ll be shriveled up & when I finally have that drive, it’ll be too late to find a match. I heard an influencer say the other day that there shouldn’t be pressure or a rush to date, it’s an opportunity that’ll always be available.

TL; DR: Is dating hard for most? And is my case bad luck or someone unsure of what she wants?

29F and I’ve always questioned how almost every pretty woman I’ve come across is always in a relationship with an equally attractive guy. When I was chubby younger, I thought losing weight would solve everything and it hasn’t. I feel like regardless of what anyone else says, I’ll always wholeheartedly believe attractive women have no issue finding a partner & they have life easier. I’ve been told I’m attractive by a variety of people for most of my life, even when I was chubby. I’m not thin, 5’7 women’s US 10 so midsize but I have that thicker thigh/flatter stomach build. The only time I get attention from guys I find attractive are on dating apps and that’s not telling in my opinion. I’ve been told this guy looked at me/this guy found me attractive from other people but the guy never makes it known to me. And there’s been very very few times where I would see an attractive guy making eye contact with me or at least caught my gaze but I just look away b/c I don’t see the point. I’m anxious/reserved but a lot of people with anxiety are in fulfilling relationships

29F and I’ve always questioned how almost every pretty woman I’ve come across is always in a relationship with an equally attractive guy. When I was chubby younger, I thought losing weight would solve everything and it hasn’t. I feel like regardless of what anyone else says, I’ll always wholeheartedly believe attractive women have no issue finding a partner & they have life easier. I’ve been told I’m attractive by a variety of people for most of my life, even when I was chubby. I’m not thin, 5’7 women’s US 10 so midsize but I have that thicker thigh/flatter stomach build. The only time I get attention from guys I find attractive are on dating apps and that’s not telling in my opinion. I’ve been told this guy looked at me/this guy found me attractive from other people but the guy never makes it known to me. And there’s been very very few times where I would see an attractive guy making eye contact with me or at least caught my gaze but I just look away b/c I don’t see the point. I’m anxious/reserved but a lot of people with anxiety are in fulfilling relationships🤷🏻‍♀️