Sudden change in behavior?

[Anonymous]

I dated this guy for three months, we had a deep connection. He was going through a lot, he was going to have to have surgery and just lost his brother 6 months prior. I supported him through his surgery, and brought him gifts and drove to see him. The drive was far so on the weekends I would spend the night. He introduced me to his mom, twice. He spoke about bringing me home etc.. he never asked me to be his girlfriend, but at the beginning stages he said he was waiting for the right moment. Our last time together, he didn’t really talk, touch me or look at me. But was upset when I was going to leave and didn’t reach for a hug, I had asked if we were okay and he said it was my anxiety. Fast forward, the next day he’s less talkative but sends me an Instagram reel, the next day he sends me one text then ghosts me. We had plans that weekend and no response. I stopped sharing my location and he didn’t stop sharing his for awhile. Finally after a week I just sent a text I was confused, the week prior I had mentioned my friend wanting me to pick out a guy on BUMBLE for her, and I didn’t feel comfortable doing it. He said it was because I was lucky on bumble, and I said I guess, because he hadn’t made me his girlfriend. He finally responded to my text a day later saying “I never meant to hurt you, but I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship or anything. I’m probably moving away (which he told me he wasn’t.) and I don’t want to lead you on, and then he finished with maybe I’m being stupid and will regret this later and you are the sweetest person I’ve ever met.” We said our goodbyes, but he never blocked me anywhere. Watches all my stories and such, and has a bigger social media presence since our breakup. It’s been a month, but I don’t understand the regret part and why he put in so much effort to just ghost me, and say he wasn’t ready. I have trust issues now because of it and he hurt me deeply. I cared for him during the hardest part of his life. Just to be ghosted.

[Avicenna]

Sounds like he is flaky. Very messed up to do that.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that's really crappy of him to suddenly change like that and then ghost you after all you did to support him. What a jerk.

Honestly it sounds like maybe he got spooked by his feelings getting deeper. Some guys just aren't comfortable opening up fully even when they like a girl a lot.

I wouldn't try too hard to understand his reasons - he clearly messed up how he handled things once he got cold feet. The "regret" part is probably him realizing too late that he lost a good thing. Don't waste any more time thinking about why!

As for you, it'll take time but try not to let this experience make you cynical. Most guys aren't like that and would be lucky to have a girl as caring as you. You did nothing wrong.

If I were you, I'd say screw him - block HIM on everything so you can fully move on without him creeping on your life still. You deserve way better treatment. Keep your head up - you'll find a dude who won't pull any of that shady wishy-washy stuff!