Search Results: being chivalrous

Inspired by a question @ultimega just asked: Have any of you heard this rule before?

But seriously! What's the point in telling boys to be "chivalrous" and girls to behave "like a lady" when instead we could just cut the crap and tell everyone to be polite?

Like if a dude opens a door for me, that's cool, I'll say thanks but I'm not going to expect him to open a door for me, or wait for him when he's miles behind just so he can open a door for me- and chances are if he's behind me, and I'm in front then I'll hold the door open for him, not because I'm trying to make a feminist statement and he's not opening the door to be chivalrous for me- we're both just being polite.

And then as for all this "lady-like" stuff, I hear dumb things like that rule above, because firstly that's just rude not to finish your plate and it's wasteful too. Secondly, I hear things like: "don't chew with your mouth open, it's not ladylike" but that's just stupid to say, because it's rude and off putting for a girl or a guy to chew with their mouth open. Again, if I chew with my mouth closed I'm not trying to be ladylike and if a dude chews with his mouth closed he's not trying to be "feminized" or whatever, we're both just being polite.

Honestly, if I have a son or a daughter I'm not going to fill their heads with those labels, when I can tell them both to just be polite, decent human beings.

So do you think we should promote chivalry to boys and being ladylike to girls or do you think we should just promote being polite to both boys and girls? And why?

My current b. f. are constantly fighting-almost every day now. He's sweet, handsome, chivalrous to a fault... but he's just soo sensitive. If he hears a minor criticism or even something he totally misinterprets not even DIRECTED at him... he goes postal. He throws tantrums. He calls me names. He accuses me of things that I didn't do. And there's no amount of reasoning, reassuring, or calming him down that can stop his extremely abusive verbal attacks. Sometimes he'll wear himself down, but it takes anywhere from hours to DAYS while I'm sitting here being his punching bag (not literally) until he feels better. When he calms down, I reiterate that that's NOT cool to just blow up on a person like that and here we go again... When he realizes that it wasn't even aimed at him? He totally forgets that he said anything. Like, really, doesn't even call it an "argument". Like, wtf? So I just went through that verbal abuse for what exactly? I've tried learning "his" style of arguing. I've tried arguing back, doing exactly what he did to me back, but... it doesn't make me feel good as a person and two... it just makes things worse. How can I stop this cycle?