"You need to open the door for her. Not because she can't, but because she shouldn't have to."
This is the kind of thing I've heard quite a bit from people who hold more traditional romantic values (either that, or they are a woman who wants to be treated a certain way, or they are a man who want women to think of him a certain way). Opening the door for a woman is, technically, a good way for a man to be unselfish. Both men and women are supposed be unselfish. Arguably not in the exact same ways, but it stands.
The statement "...not because she can't, but because she shouldn't have to" is basically another way of saying that she's entitled to have the door open for her. While it is unselfish for men to open the door for her, and I would encourage it, I discourage women from having the attitude that they are entitled to it. Entitled attitudes are contrary to unselfishness, and women are also supposed to be unselfish.
The thing is, a lot of these traditional people (or selfish women, or men with agendas) say things like this, basically thinking subconsciously that because women are beautiful and special, we are supposed to just give them things they want without challenging them. That's the exact same mentality parents have when the spoil their kids, instead of challenging them to be unselfish.
I don't mind paying for dates. I don't mind opening the door for a girl. I don't mind buying a girl presents. I don't mind pulling out the chair for a girl.
But I do mind being in a one sided relationship, where I try to be unselfish while she believes that she is entitled. If she believes that I should pay for dates and she should cook and clean, at least she also has expectations of herself. But if she thinks she's entitled to special treatment without being challenged, because she's a woman, she will not only never be more than friends with me, but she will always be less than friends with me.
So the real reason why Chivalry is Dead is not because all men suck and treat women poorly, even though a lot of them do. Also, there is just no discussion of where the boundary is, how to treat a woman like she's special while also challenging her to be unselfish. Many women want to be unselfish, and they haven't been taught to balance their expectations. Many men want to be chivalrous, but haven't been taught to treat a woman like she's special but not like she's entitled.
Seriously guys. Both people need to be unselfish. If you or your partner is selfish, break up with them.