Women are Patriarchal too

[elew4too]

Introduction

Both men and women lament about how much of a man’s world this is: whether it be unequal political, economic, or social circumstances; one of the most surprising observations in my adult life, however, is observing how some women reinforce the patriarchal dynamic.

Emotionally

Some ladies want a man to be an emotional rock: someone to lean on when times get rough and be a support system at other times, so when a man shows vulnerability, some women run for the hills. Of course, some women find it sexy when a guy shows vulnerability. But that’s the point: there’s a vast range of possibilities. While some women find emotional outpours from men enticing, many others see it as a sign of weakness and will chastise a guy for sharing that side of himself. Shunning a man’s emotions may lead him to (falsely) believe that women don’t ever want to hear about what he’s feeling, and he’ll be less likely to open up to women emotionally as a result, thus reinforcing patriarchal behaviors.

Procedurally

While most women want men to treat them as equals, every woman has a different definition of what it means to be a man’s equal. Some women will be insulted when a guy takes charge whereas others expect a guy to take charge. Some women want a guy to be transparent whereas others want a guy to take a leap of faith and be willing to take the L. Some women will snap on a guy for being chivalrous whereas some women will snap on a guy for NOT being chivalrous. Once again, the breadth of womanly tendencies gives men inconsistent messages as to how to anticipate women’s needs. And a large proportion of the female population not only doesn’t mind, but actively encourages, patriarchal practices.

Sexually

Women hate getting rejected as much as men, and no where is this most evident as when sex is involved. Many dating and sexual encounters see a woman refuse to make the first move; they often cede decision-making authority to a man, even when he asks for her point of view or she has a strong opinion on the matter. I’ve heard countless stories of women going along with what a guy wanted to do just because she didn’t believe she could say no. I’ve also heard girls say that it’s “their job” to please their man. Such beliefs, in addition to the tendency to “throw the ball back into a man’s court,” may slowly erode a man’s belief in gender equality, as some ladies’ actions make some men feel that some ladies are disingenuous about being his equal.

Conclusion

All women are not patriarchal. Women are diverse. That’s the point: SOME women reinforce patriarchy whereas others fight it tooth and nail. From a male perspective, the woman who is adamant about being treated equally has to be taken just as seriously as the woman who feels like a man should lead the household. Who’s to say which point of view is more valuable? Men will always be out for their own interest, and so will women. But some women’s interest is to be submissive towards men. The reasons vary by lady, but the fact that empowering men is a viable for strategy for some women will never cease to amaze me.

[Nobody-gives-a-finch]

There is a theory on this, so bear with me.
Women have been reported as successful throughout history. Cleopatra, the Amazons, Joan of Arc, Mary, etc. The majority of them did not fall on sexual grounds, but on moral relative grounds. Rare has been the event that a woman was punished for ascension. Some women were able to rise, though it was fighting the tide. The changes in women's opportunities and social boundaries have been good for society.
Mostly.
Disagreements with another human leads to conflict, and humans hate conflict. Men and women in many cultures came to an agreement of sorts. Men would provide, protect, and preside, and women would nurture, feed, and clean. It's the principle of relative advantage in economics, and is mutually beneficial.
Thus, when a woman disagreed, she had to fight the social norms, which were fairly adamant. It is estimated that 99.99% of all women have lived after that type of lifestyle, throughout history.
It wasn't just oppression. It was the social norm, after biological necessity and comfort.
The fundamental principles in that agreement have not changed, but our perceptions of it has. Women, due to the lack of obstacles and even sometimes the obstacles if they don't, will engage in the workplace and careers. This leaves the homes unprotected and uncared for, at least compared to the degree of the rest of history.

[ronaldo75]

Women who are patriarchal are normally lazy and want to you to "be a man" when it's convenient and suits them. I hate 3rd wave feminism with a passion but be careful with patriarchal women. These are the women that talk shit in bars expecting you to get your ass beat when someone gets sick of her. These are ones that want you to "be a man" and pay most of the bills, and freeze outside fixing her car but when you ask her to heat up some soup because you feel like shit she tells you she's no ones slave

[stardust101]

Lol 😂 well that just makes her evil if she won’t heat up soup for you after you’ve almost frozen to death fixing her car.

[bamesjond0069]

This is by definition not a patriarchal woman. You are confused.

[stardust101]

I’ll be honest, I’m one of those women that attack men just because they are men. funny huh? I’m raising four boys myself, couldn’t be more proud of them! However. It’s always been in my experiences that I and a lot of other women I know have put our men first while receiving little to nothing back. Was chivalry involved? Only on a very rare occasion. I honestly believed in patriarchy years ago and I admit I liked it. But, after being with a man for so long who was persistent that it’s his way or the highway, he wanted all the benefits of the head of the household while I got all the responsibilities, it turned me off and I realized that men ARE out for themselves. Even my father told me that when a man is the head of household, he has all the responsibilities to take care of his family financially, emotionally, spiritually. So, in this day and age especially living in this poor economic society, one person can’t carry that big load by himself, therefore, I dislike patriarchy because it means nothing except to benefit the man (woman cooks, cleans, works, pays bills too. Technically she works harder than him) so I’d rather be single.

[TonyMetal_86]

Really? Who told you this?
I'm a real man who works, pay all the bills and own my house and have a good stable job, and my future wife will be a housewife which means i'll always be her 1st and her everything...

She cooks, cleans, make me happy and manage the house but never pay the bills or worry about how to bring food or raising herself or taking care of herself...

The man works outside while the wife works inside.

[bamesjond0069]

Sounds like you chose the wrong man. Why would you pick a man who forces you to have a job? Why?

[Unit1]

@bamesjond0069 and then she hates all men.🙄

[hellionthesagereborn]

Actually men work slightly more then women, statistically speaking: www.usatoday.com/.../
If your husband was bad then why did you go along with it? Either you chose poorly or he was doing a lot and you just refused to admit to it, either way that's on you (not an accusation just pointing it out. Women seem to blame men for everything even their own choices in men and it doesn't really make sense.).

[stardust101]

@hellionthesagereborn he wasn’t always that way. The longer we were together, the more and more controlling he became. It’s such a slow and gradual process, it’s hard to explain. But, I did have jobs throughout our marriage. I couldn’t hold a job because we literally kept moving every 6 months due to financial reasons and HIS job. So, I made being motherhood my career because it was the only stability I had in my life and I chose to be the best mother I could be

[stardust101]

So, with that being said, I sacrificed a lot and for what? I’ve got nothing to show for it except two amazing boys. So, I suppose my motherhood “career” paid off so far. Anyway, I’m single now so I’m focusing on building a career where I can actually make money

[TonyMetal_86]

Have you read what i wrote you?
Cause this is my point to show you that not all men are the same, which means if your ex husband was like me, you would of been saying this now, in contrary! You'd be saying that your willing to die for him.

[ask4any]

I understand how most of you are feeling. I'm old fashioned. I don't like the way that a lot of today's men think all they have to do is bring a paycheck home and everyone else, especially the wife, has to cater to every whim. I'm sorry for the women who have and are experiencing that.

[morrowlow]

it's funny. replace the word man with woman and woman with man and you've defined feminism

[bamesjond0069]

@ask4any sad this is how you think of traditional relationships. Its not true at all. Women are not happy if they can't take care of their man and men aren't happy if they can't take care of their woman. My last girlfriend cooked and cleaned and took my shoes off for me and did all that stuff and she loved making me happy and feel like a king. In return i paid all the expenses took her out everything like that, opened the doors for her, went out of my way to teach her things, led her in our walk with God and made her feel safe and like a little princess. This is the only way relationships can be stable and functioning. Just because you think its abuse or youve seen people who do it incorrectly doesn't mean its not correct.

[hellionthesagereborn]

I'm not trying to be a contrarian here but that seems. . . off. People generally speaking do not change so dramatically, even given time (in my experience), so I feel like their is more at play then what is being said, that is perhaps their where far more factors involved and you have simply presented an overly simplified version of said events. Not saying that its not possible only that this seems to always be the response given by women yet I have yet to find a single person who changes slightly let alone radically, in the entirety of my life. It just seems a bit odd. But to each their own I suppose.

[bamesjond0069]

@hellionthesagereborn yeah i agree with you.

[stardust101]

@ask4any thank you ❤️

[stardust101]

Thanks for MH 😊

[Cdubs27]

@TonyMetal_86 I'm happy that you have a good job and a good life. But that stability you talk about is not the norm. Lets take my home state of California for example. The average male income is $53,000. A person can't live suitably with themselves, their wife and raise kids with 53,000 dollars a year. It's just not feasible.
In the 1950's the average man could afford to do what you're doing (if you adjust to inflation). But now a days it's just not financially reasonable for the average man.

[CubsterShura]

You mean the title should be 'women can perpetuate patriarchy as well'

Which is indeed true. I don't get why people don't get it. Mothers are also honor killing their daughters or getting them married forcibly. Women are also putting other women down and abusing them. Women are also pimping and trafficking. Women are also being sexist towards their own gender. It's no secret.

[KaitieSearching]

I don’t mind patriarchy. It’s a biblical way and I’m a religious person. I don’t think men ought to abuse women, but otherwise, sexism is just... meh. Not that scary. I don’t mind it. It makes me feel more feminine, which I like. I’m obviously not a feminist. Sorry to all of those out there who are. You do you. I wouldn’t propose to enforce any lifestyle on you, but for me, I don’t mind it.

[Bensbrie]

Sexism isn't biblical. The man leading the home is, being head of the home is fine. The man loving the woman as Christ loves the church and the woman honoring her husband is biblical. A woman being a help meet to her husband is biblical. But sexism? Not Gods will at all. A husband and wife should submit to one another. A man should be a godly leader and a gentleman. A woman should be a godly woman and a lady. Sexism is not a part of that equation, either way honey bunch. Thanks for your time sweetie.

[KaitieSearching]

@Bensbrie well, honey bunch, lol: I was using the modern definition of sexism which includes all that. That more reasonable definition is so last year.*hair flip*

[Bensbrie]

Lol hair flip? Nice touch! I dont generally go with the flow of society so I dont know when they change things as much. I like to stick with most definitions as they were before and not what people are changing them to try to mean. Of course words change over time. But I dont consider a man holding a door for me to be sexist lol

[Bensbrie]

Have a blessed night honey bunch

[bamesjond0069]

@Bensbrie where have you been hiding. Literally all this is considered sexism.

[Bensbrie]

@bamesjond0069 just because modern people consider it sexism doesn't mean it is. If a man isna good leader and is kind and loving towards his wife and family and doesn't act like a dictator, then there is nothing wrong with a man leading. Submitting doesn't mean being a door mat. Just like being humble doesn't mean someone is a pushover or anything. Lol. I'm from the south, just because the rest of America says one thing is now a certain way doesn't mean I just have to go along with everything everyone says. I can decide what is sexist and what isn't. A man holding a door doesn't fall in sexist category. A man calling me stupid because I'm a woman would fall under that category, but if he finds me stupid or inferior then it's rather simple, I just leave that person alone lol.

[bamesjond0069]

@Bensbrie i dont disagree but i think most people call that sexist even in the south. I just proudly say im sexist. Lol.

[Bensbrie]

@bamesjond0069 have you been to the south honey bunch? I haven't seen much of what you speak about if any, I haven't really seen any of that.

[bamesjond0069]

@Bensbrie yeah i live in the south as well. Lived in a few southern states actually.

[Bensbrie]

@bamesjond0069 what about Mississippi? That's where I'm from.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Well technically women abuse their spouses more then men do: http://www.newscastmedia.com/domestic-violence.htm
As for the bible, every one seems to forget what it actually says about relationships. It tells women to obey their husbands (the reason being is that he is the one who is responsible for the family he has to provide and protect them and he can't do that without the authority to do so (just like a manager needs to be able to tell people what to do in order for a business to run properly) but then it has another 12 paragraphs telling everything a man needs to do for his wife (yet for some reason so many claim this is sexism towards women some how.). However the reason why you prefer it is because biology, we are built for different tasks and being different shouldn't be a source of shame, something feminist don't understand.

[Bensbrie]

@hellionthesagereborn
The last part of this article was interesting but you dont have to read it if you dont want to.
www.pbs.org/kued/nosafeplace/studyg/domestic.html
This stats sheet is better.
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/statistics/
I'm sure it depends on the area and other such factors that determine who is abused. She isn't saying that men aren't abused. It's a fact that it happens to men, what she was saying is that she doesn't think men ought to abuse women. Women shouldn't abuse men either. So honey, this isn't a who has it worse competition. This isn't a competition to say who is abused more. But generally women and children (including young boys and teenage boys along with young girls and teenage girls) are more likely to be abused than grown men overall. Does it mean it doesn't happen to grown men at all? No. Women can be emotionally, or verbally, or physically abusive to a man or a combination of the three. Usually men who have been victims of abuse by a Male or female parent as a child are more likely to be abused by a Male or female partner later on, men are more likely to be hurt by other men afterall. But women can certainly hurt a man as well. But the likeliness of that is less than the other statistics. Sure there are men and women who dont tell people when they are being abused and can end up getting killed. But it all depends on numerous factors. Women dont always abuse men more and the most, that is inaccurate. Thanks for your time sweetie pie. 😊

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Bensbrie Well as my statistic pointed out Harvard study/CDC/NCVS shows that women abuse more, but that wasn't my argument. I'm not arguing that some one has it worse, I was pointing out that the idea that their is some kind of prevalence of men beating women is factually incorrect and further more pointing out that its rather sexist to point to men and say they shouldn't beat women (as if we didn't already know that) when not only is it not really common but then staying silent when women do it. It just seemed like it needed to be said because again, we are presented as abusers, she presented men as abusers and its not really accurate. I mean its kind of like if we where talking about female equality and I just stated that women shouldn't be cheating whores. That would kind of make you do a double take, yes? You would wonder why was that even mentioned, are they suggesting that women cheating is common? Are they suggesting that women as a whole are responsible for this? Are they saying that only women do this? That was what I was getting at. Was that an unreasonable response? Was I particularly aggressive about it or did I present it rudely? I don't think I did and also I provided my statistically verified and quite reliable source to prove my point just so it would be known that I wasn't just making something up I then agreed with the rest of the statement. So again, I'm not sure why your coming at me as if I had been particularly rude or was starting a fight, I was merely correcting a misconception that has been pushed in society (one that is used to claim that men are bad and the enemy which I don't particularly think is a healthy attitude).

[Bensbrie]

@hellionthesagereborn I wasn't coming at you as if you were starting a fight or claiming you to be rude. Maybe you perceived it as so, but I assure you that is not the case. And you can't really say it's not that common for women to be abused, because that false. She also wasn't being sexist. She didn't say that all men do this. She is talking about the men who do such things, she doesn't believe any man should do this. It's like if I say I dont believe any woman should abuse a man, I'm not saying all women do this. Just saying I dont think any woman should. Do all men abuse women? No. But is it uncommon? No. She never depicted all men as abusers. That's just how you interpreted what she said sweetie. Maybe because you have heard other women who do that you think that what many other women are saying is also in line with what those women are saying, when it really isn't.

[Bensbrie]

@hellionthesagereborn that aside, I'm not picking a fight with you. Just merely responding. I hope to keep it as such, just a conversation. Thank you.

[bamesjond0069]

@Bensbrie nc sc tn ga i mean its way better than other places I've been but i still think they 'call' it sexist. Im making a distinction between they would admit it is but think its good vs just saying its not sexist.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Bensbrie Well according to the bureau of justice statistics talking into account both assault, rape and robbery from a significant other came out to be about.3% That's pretty rare. Also Again, never suggested she said all women, I said its really weird that she brought that up, with absolutely no mention of women who abuse, this itself being odd simply because no one mentioned abuse and the suggestion that "patriarchy" some how endorses abuse against women is what fueled that response, the one where I pointed out based upon data its not common and women technically abuse more then men (we simply don't have it reported because its not taken seriously): www.mintpressnews.com/.../
So I was, again, clearing up what seemed to be a misunderstanding in regards to this and again, it was a very oddly placed statement that did not fit the context of the conversation (as again, the mytake made no mention of domestic violence from any one). So again, that was a response to her very real and inaccurate statement, I never suggested she was saying all men where abusers (to use your words, "That's just how you interpreted what I said sweetie"), and I did not take any comment personally. I am, to be quite frank, confused not upset by both her remark and your response as I found it was quite a valid remark to make given the statement made, and the fact that it was so out of place given what was being discussed. As for the rest of her statement, as I said before, I agreed with (I even gave her a thumbs up for it). So again, not sure what you think was being said by myself, but I think you might be mistaken in your interpretation.

[Bensbrie]

@hellionthesagereborn I never said you took the comment personally hon. I'm just saying, from your experience of probably hearing other women say things a certain way with a certain context probably made you think she was saying something a particular way. Also, of course most women aren't robbed by spouses. But that considered a lot of women throughout time probably haven't reported if they were raped by a spouse because most people, especially in the past didn't think it was possible to be raped by a spouse. I'm not saying rape by a spouse occurs very often though. I was saying that women being raped or assaulted in general is not uncommon, not that women being raped or a spouse isn't uncommon. Just like there are men who are raped by a man or a woman, or children who are assaulted or raped who dont report what has happened to them. In psychological statistics we learn that there is usually a number of people who fall within a certain percentage when taking into account the information supplied for a graph. But even with statistics there is the possibility that there will be a bit more or less than what is calculated or predicted. That aside, not every assault, rape or robbery is recorded, including in the past. Yes statistics try to obtain the numbers from the data presented to them though. But that aside, like I said, I wasn't saying it is extremely common for assault and such to take place within the context of the domestic. When it comes to domestic violence men and women can be abused in different ways and the numbers would be pretty close in percentages of Male or female spouse being abused. But it's not extremely common for Male or female spouses to be robbed or raped , but that wasn't even my original point. So I dont know how you thought I was talking about that. It is often possible for both parties to misunderstand one another when communicating, especially when talking via written word.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Bensbrie Well marital rape wasn't a thing because marriage was considered consent, however assault was illegal and so you cannot have rape without assault so one could figure out the rates of that by checking out assault statistics. That said by your rational this would be applicable to men because it was not made illegal to rape a man until 2005 so by that rational all data concerning female on male rape is flawed (also data shows that its comparable to male on female rape (based upon the CDC/NCVS research) and that is also true for domestic violence as men are considered incapable of being abused (historically they would be publically shamed for being "hen pecked"(beaten by their wife), it was called riding the donkey backwards: https://www.fact.on.ca/Info/dom/george94.htm which would mean your own argument kind of backs what I was saying earlier). But as for the prevaliance of rape its also rare. According to FBI data if we presume all age groups, racial groups, regional groups are equally likely to get raped, if we ignore personal decisions in how that can affect chances of rape (getting blacked out drunk with people you don't know etc.), all of which is absolutely not true, you still only get a life time chance of 3%. So that is pretty rare and that's being the most "generous", so to speak, that you can be with the data (and again, based upon the data is about the life time percentage of a man being raped by a woman: www.vice.com/.../the-hidden-epidemic-of-men-who-are-raped-by-women
www.usatoday.com/.../

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Bensbrie As for abuse, I was pointing out that this was all domestic violence, not just rape and robbery but domestic violence robbery and rape based upon the BJS (that I was able to find) hence its relevance.
But I feel like this is really off topic, so again, back to my original statement its really odd that some one would bring up something unrelated and then single out one group which by its nature excludes other groups from that behavior i. e. by saying MEN she was saying not women (by just how language works) and it was not even related to what was being spoken about to begin with hence my statement. So I merely pointed out that this isn't really a thing that should be worried about and then continued by agreeing with her statement and pointing out how every one thinks the bible is sexist for holding a standard to women but ignores the fact that their is a much longer list of rules for men treating women i. e. both have their role to play and are expected to work together in harmony.

[Bensbrie]

@hellionthesagereborn let's just agree that people shouldn't rape anyone. Let's just agree that people shouldn't be violent towards one another. Statistics are important, but as I said it is impossible to record every assault and rape that has ever occurred because not everyone reports if they are abused, raped or assaulted. Men, women, and children included. I'm sorry, but it's late here and I'm too tired to discuss things further. I dont believe that rape in general is rare and it is impossible to record every violent action or wrong act. Including child abuse. Statistics only cover the data that is accessible to them. But thanks for your time so far sweetie pie. Have a good night hon.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Bensbrie Do you know some one who wouldn't agree to any of that? Also yes statistics are important, but claiming that we cannot know ergo it must be some absurdly high number is the exact opposite of acknowledging ignorance, its claiming knowledge where their is none. It also doesn't explain WHY some one wouldn't report anything because again, you need to have some kind of valid reason for it (and considering that the last public flogging (done in 1958 in Delaware if I'm not mistaken) was due to domestic violence, we can safely say that society does in fact frown upon it). So again, I find this. . . odd. As for your belief, well, you are entitled to it but it has no baring on reality. Lots of people believe lots of things but if the CDC/NCVS, DOJ, BJS, FBI and independent studies all show its rare, I'm sorry but I cannot hold your feelings on the subject to the same level as all of that. Child abuse is also rare even if not all of them are reported (and that's coming from a man who was both raped and abused as a child). But again, to each their own.

[Bensbrie]

@hellionthesagereborn I know multiple people who were molested as a child and they never reported it. Plus I never said it is an extremely high number that isn't reported. Like billions. I never claimed that, you misunderstand me. And just because something isn't recorded doesn't mean it didn't happen or doesn't happen. Its possible for certain things to be over looked. Statistics get within a certain proximity of accuracy, but will always be off to some degree. I'm not going based on feelings either, thank you. But you can believe what you wish and believe I mean certain things when I dont. I never said anything about people accepting or tolerating domestic violence, so why did you bring that up.. never mind. I'm sure you are a good person, but this is a bit tiring and as I said beforeit's late. You can believe as you wish, yes I do consider statistics as a good and reliable source, but different studies and different sources show different findings and things can change and there are numerous variables to consider. But whatever. Have a blessed night sweetie pie and bye..

[hellionthesagereborn]

@Bensbrie I was abused as a child as well, again, just because one "knows people" does not mean that its the norm (that was my point). I also never said you suggested it was in the "billions", I simply pointed out that saying some go unreported is meaningless because we cannot know how many that is so we can only go based upon the data we have so presuming that the ones that don't report are a sizeable portion is erroneous and not based off of any actual information (I feel like you are projecting, I'm not reading into anything stated, you seem to think I'm trying to project my feelings, I'm not I was merely pointing out the data (and that was only because you jumped to the conclusion that I was suggesting something I wasn't (which you continue to do, again, I think your guilty of what your claiming I'm doing (not an accusation, just an observation)). Anyway this is going in circles and I don't want to bother KaitieSearching any more so lets just drop this.

[Bensbrie]

@hellionthesagereborn I never said you are trying to project your feelings hon, and just because you feel as if I am trying to project here doesn't make it so. I'm sorry for what happened to you hon as well. You said I jumped to conclusions, but you mentioned things in a particular fashion about you not doing certain things when I didn't even claim you to do so in the first place, if I never accused you of anything to begin with then why mention in your precious comments that you didn't do something of which no one has accused you? You said you didn't take any comment personally in one comment. I didn't claim you did. You also claimed that my ideas on this topic come from just "feelings" saying (As for your belief, well, you are entitled to it but it has no baring on reality. Lots of people believe lots of things but if the CDC/NCVS, DOJ, BJS, FBI and independent studies all show its rare, I'm sorry but I cannot hold your feelings on the subject to the same level as all of that.) I've seen studies that show that abuse is not so rare, are those studies false? I've just mentioned that there are multiple studies done, and many times different studies differ depending on numerous variables and should be taken into consideration as well. Everyone interprets things, including data, it's also possible for people in a conversation to interpret things that aren't really present or interpret things in a fashion where they leave out certain things as well. You mentioned things not being personal and so on, when I didn't say you made it personal. So why? But that aside, have a nice day hon.

[Bensbrie]

@hellionthesagereborn

www.cdc.gov/.../fastfact.html

Sexual violence affects millions of people each year in the United States. Researchers know that the numbers underestimate this significant problem as many cases go unreported. Victims may be ashamed, embarrassed, or afraid to tell the police, friends, or family about the violence. Victims may also keep quiet because they have been threatened with further harm if they tell anyone or do not think that anyone will help them.

Still, we do have data that show:

Sexual violence is common. 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experienced sexual violence involving physical contact during their lifetimes. Nearly 1 in 5 women and 1 in 38 men have experienced completed or attempted rape and 1 in 14 men was made to penetrate someone (completed or attempted) during his lifetime.
Sexual violence starts early. 1 in 3 female rape victims experienced it for the first time between 11-17 years old and 1 in 8 reported that it occurred before age 10. Nearly 1 in 4 male rape victims experienced it for the first time between 11-17 years old and about 1 in 4 reported that it occurred before age 10.
Sexual violence is costly. Recent estimates put the cost of rape at $122,461 per victim, including medical costs, lost productivity, criminal justice activities, and other costs.

www.fbi.gov/.../fbi-releases-2018-crime-statistics

By violent crime offense, the arrest rate for murder and nonnegligent manslaughter was 3.7 per 100,000 inhabitants; rape (aggregate total using the revised and legacy definition), 7.7; robbery, 27.2; and aggravated assault, 121.4 per 100,000 inhabitants.

[Shezadi]

I wrote a similar article called "Women equally contribute in women's oppression." As an Asian, I have seen women justify honour killings. I have seen women blame and shame victims for getting raped, for getting attacked with acid, for being beaten or for even getting murdered. There are many women who are against girls having boyfriends and wearing short clothes.

Many Pakistani women still justify the honour killing of Qandeel Baloch just because she was bold on social media.

And many Pakistani women justify the domestic abuse of Asma Aziz just because she was a "party girl" and was westernised.

Even on social media, women bully former Hijabis like Dina Tokia. Pakistani women still troll Faryal Makhdoom for being westernised even though they live in western countries.

[ronaldo75]

Are you in the USA? Here in the US we are called racist and islamophobic for speaking against women's issues in the middle east and the fact that many times women are the ones that promote women's oppression.

[DovahKittyLady]

I am for equality. I believe what woman or man does with their life is their decision wether they want to be a housewife or wants to work its all ultimately decided by the individual. I don't see a reason to attack men for any of these reasons. I am there for people in their time of emotional distress regardless of their sex. I think people shouldn't hold crazy expectations since everyone are individuals. Sex should be a conversation all the parties involved should have anyways. If you don't like something speak up. If you fear that you can't say no then you need stop having sex right then and there with that person. Now while there are plenty of countries with a lack of womens rights but as a woman living in the US, I have never felt like i was unequal to anyone.

[Insomnia72]

I think you're talking about conservative women, especially those involved in religion. So yeah, some of those women do accept the patriarchal standard. But come on, if a man starts screaming when a rat enters the kitchen and stands on a chair, crying "Save me, Susan! I'm so scared!" Conservative or Liberal, that does not look manly.

[ask4any]

Wow! You did your homework! Lol! My opinion is for the women who do like to see vulnerabilities in a man, want to be the only one who sees them. Like a sexual secret almost. To the rest of the world your a Man's man, and most of the time to her as well. But in those moments of fatigue, confusion, questions, not knowing exactly what to do this time. Those vulnerabilities are hers and hers alone! AND don't let on every time you experience them either! A man is still supposed to be a man!

[Browneye57]

Uh, where'd ya come up with this drivel?
AWALT = all women are like that. There may be some very few exceptions, but this whole notion they're all different is a fallacy. That's when some dipshit comes along with NAWALT = not all women are like that. Sure. ;)

[UncleJessieRabbit]

If All Women are Like That, then it would logically follow that All Men are Like That too.

[Browneye57]

@UncleJessieRabbit - Yep. Pretty much.
What is sad is you have failed to identify what it takes to be a REAL MAN and work toward that. All this whining, so little time.

[UncleJessieRabbit]

Where do you see this whining coming from me?

[Browneye57]

@UncleJessieRabbit - Read through your 'take again. So much fail, so much whining.
You are whining about how women ARE. It's built in, it's how they're wired, it's how god made them.
No, they are not like men. Yes, they are fussy, and inconsistent, and emotional, and whiny.

You need a lesson in WOMAN.
Go here and READ: www.therationalmale.com

With understanding comes acceptance. You'll just roll your eyes and say, "figures".
And you HAVE to be able to allay shit-tests successfully. Or they'll never stop. YOU have to the be the leader, you have to know better what they need than they do. You have to take charge.

And never forget, YOU ARE THE PRIZE. So start acting like it.

[SkipStop]

Some women are easy to read and some are tough. Would be cool if we had powers to see labels with information about each woman. It's hard to find those good women because they try to hide it for society's reasons. And that's very sad.

[Boppy]

A pin that says

[Boppy]

gosh darn it, dropped my phone
(you probably see where I was going with that though)

[John_Doesnt]

pa·tri·ar·chal
/ˌpātrēˈärk (ə) l/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
1.
relating to or characteristic of a patriarch.
2.
relating to or characteristic of a system of society or government controlled by men.
"a patriarchal society"

So I guess you're talking about the shemales again.

[Kiran_Yagami]

Of course they are, but I don't care. I understand the dynamic of what what feminazis call "patriarchy" and I also understand it exists purely out of necessity, not malice. Men and women are fundamentally different so we can never be equals. The best we can hope for is equal treatment under the law, and even that is a long shot. Women who are "patriarchal" simply understand the system better.

[kim45456]

If you support patriarchy, then you are just the male version of feminazi

[Kiran_Yagami]

@kim45456 There is no male version of the feminazi. And you have no idea what patriarchy even is.

[kim45456]

Yes, they are. I have seen enough desperate incels hating on women.

[kim45456]

You think patriarchy is ok but matriarchy is sexist?

[UncleJessieRabbit]

Hollywood is still like this a lot, especially the "traditional" tall, handsome male lead. Now there is nothing wrong with the tall, handsome male lead archetype per se, but roles breaking the traditional male lead mold are very neglected. One of the few things that is still scary or controversial in that industry.

[ChefCurry]

A serve once complained to me that her husband cried over their dog dying. She tried to hook up with me later that night. And several other times. When I first saw her husband he was a very effeminate man.

Women hate this and prefer strong alpha men such as myself.

[Cherokeehp]

You took the time out of your day to write an essay that basically said “to each their own.” Some people like gender roles, some don’t. It’s a pretty simple concept.

[genericname85]

women are matriarchal not patriarchal. it's the same bullshit but whatever. i get your point. however girls hate to take responsibility so they won't admit what you say.

[SElizabethMaria]

I am definitely Patriarchal in a passive way. The "throw the ball back into the man's court" thing really resonated with me.

[Dargil]

Women can be Matriarchal, not Patriarchal. Words mean things.

[humanearth]

I'm just a dickhead and stubborn to let that happen

[pleasestopthis]

Of course. That's how that model is still prevalent in modern society.

[esotericstory]

Feminist definitions of patriarchy are not universally accepted definitions.

[Luijo]

Did you mean matriarchal? yes by the way everyone wants to domain, but anyone wants to admit it (With the exception of submissive people)

[BrotherFrost]

Bill Burr had a stand up about feminism. I can't post links yet, so just type "Bill Burr feminism" on YouTube and you should get that video.