Women are Patriarchal too



Both men and women lament about how much of a man’s world this is: whether it be unequal political, economic, or social circumstances; one of the most surprising observations in my adult life, however, is observing how some women reinforce the patriarchal dynamic.


Some ladies want a man to be an emotional rock: someone to lean on when times get rough and be a support system at other times, so when a man shows vulnerability, some women run for the hills. Of course, some women find it sexy when a guy shows vulnerability. But that’s the point: there’s a vast range of possibilities. While some women find emotional outpours from men enticing, many others see it as a sign of weakness and will chastise a guy for sharing that side of himself. Shunning a man’s emotions may lead him to (falsely) believe that women don’t ever want to hear about what he’s feeling, and he’ll be less likely to open up to women emotionally as a result, thus reinforcing patriarchal behaviors.

Women are Patriarchal too


While most women want men to treat them as equals, every woman has a different definition of what it means to be a man’s equal. Some women will be insulted when a guy takes charge whereas others expect a guy to take charge. Some women want a guy to be transparent whereas others want a guy to take a leap of faith and be willing to take the L. Some women will snap on a guy for being chivalrous whereas some women will snap on a guy for NOT being chivalrous. Once again, the breadth of womanly tendencies gives men inconsistent messages as to how to anticipate women’s needs. And a large proportion of the female population not only doesn’t mind, but actively encourages, patriarchal practices.

Women are Patriarchal too


Women hate getting rejected as much as men, and no where is this most evident as when sex is involved. Many dating and sexual encounters see a woman refuse to make the first move; they often cede decision-making authority to a man, even when he asks for her point of view or she has a strong opinion on the matter. I’ve heard countless stories of women going along with what a guy wanted to do just because she didn’t believe she could say no. I’ve also heard girls say that it’s “their job” to please their man. Such beliefs, in addition to the tendency to “throw the ball back into a man’s court,” may slowly erode a man’s belief in gender equality, as some ladies’ actions make some men feel that some ladies are disingenuous about being his equal.


All women are not patriarchal. Women are diverse. That’s the point: SOME women reinforce patriarchy whereas others fight it tooth and nail. From a male perspective, the woman who is adamant about being treated equally has to be taken just as seriously as the woman who feels like a man should lead the household. Who’s to say which point of view is more valuable? Men will always be out for their own interest, and so will women. But some women’s interest is to be submissive towards men. The reasons vary by lady, but the fact that empowering men is a viable for strategy for some women will never cease to amaze me.

Women are Patriarchal too
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Nobody-gives-a-finch

    There is a theory on this, so bear with me.
    Women have been reported as successful throughout history. Cleopatra, the Amazons, Joan of Arc, Mary, etc. The majority of them did not fall on sexual grounds, but on moral relative grounds. Rare has been the event that a woman was punished for ascension. Some women were able to rise, though it was fighting the tide. The changes in women's opportunities and social boundaries have been good for society.
    Disagreements with another human leads to conflict, and humans hate conflict. Men and women in many cultures came to an agreement of sorts. Men would provide, protect, and preside, and women would nurture, feed, and clean. It's the principle of relative advantage in economics, and is mutually beneficial.
    Thus, when a woman disagreed, she had to fight the social norms, which were fairly adamant. It is estimated that 99.99% of all women have lived after that type of lifestyle, throughout history.
    It wasn't just oppression. It was the social norm, after biological necessity and comfort.
    The fundamental principles in that agreement have not changed, but our perceptions of it has. Women, due to the lack of obstacles and even sometimes the obstacles if they don't, will engage in the workplace and careers. This leaves the homes unprotected and uncared for, at least compared to the degree of the rest of history.

    LikeDisagree 2 People
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  • ronaldo75

    Women who are patriarchal are normally lazy and want to you to "be a man" when it's convenient and suits them. I hate 3rd wave feminism with a passion but be careful with patriarchal women. These are the women that talk shit in bars expecting you to get your ass beat when someone gets sick of her. These are ones that want you to "be a man" and pay most of the bills, and freeze outside fixing her car but when you ask her to heat up some soup because you feel like shit she tells you she's no ones slave

    Like 5 People
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    • Lol 😂 well that just makes her evil if she won’t heat up soup for you after you’ve almost frozen to death fixing her car.

    • This is by definition not a patriarchal woman. You are confused.

Most Helpful Girls

  • stardust101

    I’ll be honest, I’m one of those women that attack men just because they are men. funny huh? I’m raising four boys myself, couldn’t be more proud of them! However. It’s always been in my experiences that I and a lot of other women I know have put our men first while receiving little to nothing back. Was chivalry involved? Only on a very rare occasion. I honestly believed in patriarchy years ago and I admit I liked it. But, after being with a man for so long who was persistent that it’s his way or the highway, he wanted all the benefits of the head of the household while I got all the responsibilities, it turned me off and I realized that men ARE out for themselves. Even my father told me that when a man is the head of household, he has all the responsibilities to take care of his family financially, emotionally, spiritually. So, in this day and age especially living in this poor economic society, one person can’t carry that big load by himself, therefore, I dislike patriarchy because it means nothing except to benefit the man (woman cooks, cleans, works, pays bills too. Technically she works harder than him) so I’d rather be single.

    LikeDisagree 13 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Really? Who told you this?
      I'm a real man who works, pay all the bills and own my house and have a good stable job, and my future wife will be a housewife which means i'll always be her 1st and her everything...

      She cooks, cleans, make me happy and manage the house but never pay the bills or worry about how to bring food or raising herself or taking care of herself...

      The man works outside while the wife works inside.

    • Sounds like you chose the wrong man. Why would you pick a man who forces you to have a job? Why?

    • Unit1

      @bamesjond0069 and then she hates all men.🙄

    • Show All
  • CubsterShura

    You mean the title should be 'women can perpetuate patriarchy as well'

    Which is indeed true. I don't get why people don't get it. Mothers are also honor killing their daughters or getting them married forcibly. Women are also putting other women down and abusing them. Women are also pimping and trafficking. Women are also being sexist towards their own gender. It's no secret.

    LikeDisagree 11 People
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What Girls & Guys Said

  • KaitieSearching

    I don’t mind patriarchy. It’s a biblical way and I’m a religious person. I don’t think men ought to abuse women, but otherwise, sexism is just... meh. Not that scary. I don’t mind it. It makes me feel more feminine, which I like. I’m obviously not a feminist. Sorry to all of those out there who are. You do you. I wouldn’t propose to enforce any lifestyle on you, but for me, I don’t mind it.

    LikeDisagree 13 People
    • Bensbrie

      Sexism isn't biblical. The man leading the home is, being head of the home is fine. The man loving the woman as Christ loves the church and the woman honoring her husband is biblical. A woman being a help meet to her husband is biblical. But sexism? Not Gods will at all. A husband and wife should submit to one another. A man should be a godly leader and a gentleman. A woman should be a godly woman and a lady. Sexism is not a part of that equation, either way honey bunch. Thanks for your time sweetie.

    • @Bensbrie well, honey bunch, lol: I was using the modern definition of sexism which includes all that. That more reasonable definition is so last year.*hair flip*

    • Bensbrie

      Lol hair flip? Nice touch! I dont generally go with the flow of society so I dont know when they change things as much. I like to stick with most definitions as they were before and not what people are changing them to try to mean. Of course words change over time. But I dont consider a man holding a door for me to be sexist lol

    • Show All
  • SkipStop

    Some women are easy to read and some are tough. Would be cool if we had powers to see labels with information about each woman. It's hard to find those good women because they try to hide it for society's reasons. And that's very sad.

    Like 1 Person
    • Boppy

      A pin that says

    • Boppy

      gosh darn it, dropped my phone
      (you probably see where I was going with that though)

  • Insomnia72

    I think you're talking about conservative women, especially those involved in religion. So yeah, some of those women do accept the patriarchal standard. But come on, if a man starts screaming when a rat enters the kitchen and stands on a chair, crying "Save me, Susan! I'm so scared!" Conservative or Liberal, that does not look manly.

  • Browneye57

    Uh, where'd ya come up with this drivel?
    AWALT = all women are like that. There may be some very few exceptions, but this whole notion they're all different is a fallacy. That's when some dipshit comes along with NAWALT = not all women are like that. Sure. ;)

    LikeDisagree 8 People
    • If All Women are Like That, then it would logically follow that All Men are Like That too.

    • Browneye57

      @UncleJessieRabbit - Yep. Pretty much.
      What is sad is you have failed to identify what it takes to be a REAL MAN and work toward that. All this whining, so little time.

    • Where do you see this whining coming from me?

    • Show All
  • ask4any

    Wow! You did your homework! Lol! My opinion is for the women who do like to see vulnerabilities in a man, want to be the only one who sees them. Like a sexual secret almost. To the rest of the world your a Man's man, and most of the time to her as well. But in those moments of fatigue, confusion, questions, not knowing exactly what to do this time. Those vulnerabilities are hers and hers alone! AND don't let on every time you experience them either! A man is still supposed to be a man!

    Like 1 Person
  • John_Doesnt

    /ˌpātrēˈärk (ə) l/
    Learn to pronounce
    relating to or characteristic of a patriarch.
    relating to or characteristic of a system of society or government controlled by men.
    "a patriarchal society"

    So I guess you're talking about the shemales again.

    LikeDisagree 3 People
  • Cherokeehp

    You took the time out of your day to write an essay that basically said “to each their own.” Some people like gender roles, some don’t. It’s a pretty simple concept.

    LikeDisagree 5 People
  • Kiran_Yagami

    Of course they are, but I don't care. I understand the dynamic of what what feminazis call "patriarchy" and I also understand it exists purely out of necessity, not malice. Men and women are fundamentally different so we can never be equals. The best we can hope for is equal treatment under the law, and even that is a long shot. Women who are "patriarchal" simply understand the system better.

    • kim45456

      If you support patriarchy, then you are just the male version of feminazi

    • @kim45456 There is no male version of the feminazi. And you have no idea what patriarchy even is.

    • kim45456

      Yes, they are. I have seen enough desperate incels hating on women.

    • Show All
  • UncleJessieRabbit

    Hollywood is still like this a lot, especially the "traditional" tall, handsome male lead. Now there is nothing wrong with the tall, handsome male lead archetype per se, but roles breaking the traditional male lead mold are very neglected. One of the few things that is still scary or controversial in that industry.

  • ChefCurry

    A serve once complained to me that her husband cried over their dog dying. She tried to hook up with me later that night. And several other times. When I first saw her husband he was a very effeminate man.

    Women hate this and prefer strong alpha men such as myself.

    Disagree 1 Person
  • genericname85

    women are matriarchal not patriarchal. it's the same bullshit but whatever. i get your point. however girls hate to take responsibility so they won't admit what you say.

  • Shezadi

    I wrote a similar article called "Women equally contribute in women's oppression." As an Asian, I have seen women justify honour killings. I have seen women blame and shame victims for getting raped, for getting attacked with acid, for being beaten or for even getting murdered. There are many women who are against girls having boyfriends and wearing short clothes.

    Many Pakistani women still justify the honour killing of Qandeel Baloch just because she was bold on social media.

    And many Pakistani women justify the domestic abuse of Asma Aziz just because she was a "party girl" and was westernised.

    Even on social media, women bully former Hijabis like Dina Tokia. Pakistani women still troll Faryal Makhdoom for being westernised even though they live in western countries.

    Like 1 Person
    • ronaldo75

      Are you in the USA? Here in the US we are called racist and islamophobic for speaking against women's issues in the middle east and the fact that many times women are the ones that promote women's oppression.

  • SElizabethMaria

    I am definitely Patriarchal in a passive way. The "throw the ball back into the man's court" thing really resonated with me.

  • DovahKittyLady

    I am for equality. I believe what woman or man does with their life is their decision wether they want to be a housewife or wants to work its all ultimately decided by the individual. I don't see a reason to attack men for any of these reasons. I am there for people in their time of emotional distress regardless of their sex. I think people shouldn't hold crazy expectations since everyone are individuals. Sex should be a conversation all the parties involved should have anyways. If you don't like something speak up. If you fear that you can't say no then you need stop having sex right then and there with that person. Now while there are plenty of countries with a lack of womens rights but as a woman living in the US, I have never felt like i was unequal to anyone.

    Like 3 People
  • Dargil

    Women can be Matriarchal, not Patriarchal. Words mean things.

  • humanearth

    I'm just a dickhead and stubborn to let that happen

  • esotericstory

    Feminist definitions of patriarchy are not universally accepted definitions.

    LikeDisagree 3 People
  • Luijo

    Did you mean matriarchal? yes by the way everyone wants to domain, but anyone wants to admit it (With the exception of submissive people)

  • pleasestopthis

    Of course. That's how that model is still prevalent in modern society.

  • BrotherFrost

    Bill Burr had a stand up about feminism. I can't post links yet, so just type "Bill Burr feminism" on YouTube and you should get that video.

    Like 1 Person
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