Search Results: domestic violence

I've known this one guy since HS, I was a freshman & he was a junior (14 years ago). We went to neighbor high schools but were friends on FB. We were really close or so I felt. He was there for me for my first heartbreak my senior year. During that relationship he confessed his feelings for me. After I graduated we hung out a few times at his place never even kissed but we would cuddle. I liked what we had bc I was afraid if we got into a relationship & we didn't workout then I would lose him as a friend too. He meant a lot to me. 3 years passed & I got into another relationship, this one was toxic & I couldnt talk to him much but when my ex & I got into fights I would reach out to him again. I spent the night at his place once too again nothing happened. Then when I was 2 months pregnant I was in a domestic violence situation with my ex & I had nowhere to go so I reached out to him to stay at his place but this time he said no. he was very cold with me. I was so hurt I removed him from socials and didn't speak to him for years. Another 3 years passed & I moved an hour away. He reached out to me wanting to know about my life & if BD was in the picture. He is not. This time he was in a 2y long relationship. I told him I was hurt because he didn't help me when I needed him. he said it was because he was mad at me for being with someone else & having their baby. I mentioned to him I was moving out of state soon so he suggested we meet one last time & said he could drive the hour to me. I said no & used the excuse that we were still freshly into the pandemic. He added me on social media again & then about a year later removed me. I don't know why. So I messaged him & asked if what I posted had offended him, he said no & that was it. But actually it wasn't I figured since that was the end of our friendship I told him I had had feelings for him previously & the reason I never spoke up about it, that I also felt he was all wishy washy with me. (Continued below)

Since 2001 we have been wrestling with men and with boys to talk about his feelings, and don't be a Gorilla and hide them. .. we went out to schools, Summer camps, hosted events catered to young men all around America since 1998-2001 encouraging them show more emotion and be open about how they feel. And have emotional intelligence.

This is what we've come to Avoid and overlook.

here is a case study

Brian is often told to express his emotional side and show emotions however his father takes a bwlt a whips him and Sister tells him"you're a boy! You must remember that!" His mother scolds him for crying or showing any emotions that people encourage Brian to show..



This heartbreaking case study illustrates the stark contrast between societal expectations and harsh home realities.
Brian's Dilemma:
Encouraged by outsiders to express emotions → Contradicted by family members who punish/emotionally abuse him for doing so.
Consequences:
Emotional confusion
Fear of expression
Internalized shame
Difficulty forming healthy relationships
Systemic Issues:
Intergenerational trauma (father's behavior likely learned from his own upbringing)

Lack of emotional support and validation
Impact on Brian:
Emotional numbing
Decreased self-esteem
Increased stress and anxiety
Potential long-term mental health issues (depression, anxiety disorders)
Break the Cycle:
Safe, supportive therapy for Brian and his family.
Educate parents/guardians on emotional intelligence and healthy expression.
Address intergenerational trauma through family therapy.
Encourage positive male role models and mentors.
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233)
Childhelp (1-800-422-4453)
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline (1-800-950-6264)

Key Takeaway:
Societal encouragement of emotional expression must be matched by safe, supportive home environments. We must address systemic issues and provide resources for families to break cycles of trauma.