Search Results: showing they care

Parent - Someone in Parent may use body language that is angry or impatient such as finger-pointing, fist-clenching, "in your face". The language of the Parent may be judgmental, critical or patronizing.

Adult - You can tell that someone is in their Adult when they are showing interest and pay attention, they are not defensive or need the be threatening in any way. A conversation with someone in Adult is reasonable, straight-forward and oriented towards solving problems. They tend to ask for information before forming opinions, such as asking "why", "what", "how", "who", "where" and "when". Individuals working from Adult use logic statements - true, false, probably, possibly. They don't force their opinions on you as if talking to a child but will offer their own thoughts in a non-dogmatic way: "I think", "I realize", "I see", "I believe".

Child - An individual who is in their Child often behaves more emotionally than they do at other times, which could be sad, angry, despairing, fearful, depressed. They may use the body language of a child, such as squirming, giggling, whining, shrugging, teasing. There are many phrases that point to the Child being present, the person tends to use simple language such as "I want", "I need", "I don't care", "don’t know".

Remember: when you are trying to identify ego states words are only part of the overall message.

55% is body language
38% of meaning is intonation
Only 7% of communication is the actual words spoken