Search Results: asking me to tell him

30F and I don’t think I’ll ever shake my core belief that any decently presentable lady has no prob finding a man, a pretty girl well forget about it. I’m very reserved, I’ve always been but was *friendlier* in my early twenties, now I’m borderline antisocial. I always blamed growing up overweight as the reason why I didn’t get attention from guys/wasn’t popular, I lost weight in my early twenties and have maintained my weight loss since (still slim thick). Again, this weight loss didn’t change the attention I got from guys & I was a bit more sociable back then.

I’m told I’m attractive (from all kinds of people for most of my life & not only family/friends) & the only times attractive guys take initiative are on dating apps. And apps are absolute trash as we know, guys I’d find attractive in person have never made it known to me directly. It’s always that RARE occasion where I think one is maybe making eye contact or someone I knew pointed out a guy was looking at me/word of mouth this or that guy found me attractive etc. Then on dating apps, I’d have guys that I initially considered *potential* eventually showing interest in me (asking out etc) after I got to know them a bit more and I just find a way to dip out.

Im so conflicted. I feel invisible & when a guy appeals to me in some way on a dating app (which should be taken with a grain of salt), I just can’t be bothered for whatever the reason is for me at that moment. It’s apathy/anxiety/self sabotage/confusion etc?

Things he did:

1. When my a good friend of mine was in between us in class he would constantly tell him to stfu when he was talking to me
2. He used to make fart sounds with his hands, waiting for me to look at him and make my "are u serious" face to mimic me
3. He got very excited when I finally accepted to work with him once
4. He noticed I sleep a lot and called me sleepy head once when trying to wake me up
5. He literally humiliated himself on the class GC to try to get me to pair up with him for a presentation
6. He remembered my birthday when everyone forgot and reminded everyone
8. Called me once with his friends to ask me help for a work and after the called he said "bisou" (kiss in French) and his friends said "ah yes bisou" and he insulted them
9. Randomly coming up to me to ask me what game I’m playing
10. When I got a haircut he waited until my friends noticed it before telling me it looked cute on me, when I thanked him he puffed out his chest
11. He said a little pasta restaurant everyone goes to is shit but after he saw me going to it he started going there for lunch and when he sees me queuing he straightens up and looks at me
12. Once we had to correct our seatmate’s test and when I tried to give my test to my seatmate they turned back to give it to their friend so he yanked my test out of my hands and gave me his without asking
13. At the very second day back to school he immediately went up to me in front of the school door, I was confused and tried to leave bc he was in a call and it was awkward but he stopped me, ended his call and stared into my eyes while thinking about what to say before we walked to class together
14. Seems to have changed his morning schedule to arrive at school at the same time as me
15. At the queue for a small restaurant he got behind me and kept looking at my phone, talking loud about "interesting facts" (that were common knowledge) with his friend