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So I’ve got family staying over this winter my aunt and three cousins all for free. My family is not in the best financial position currently. On top of that I’m in the worst position I’m not making much and I don’t have a car which forces me to take Ubers everywhere most of the time. But it feels like people don’t understand that my brothers are making more than me currently and have cars. I make just a little over 300$ a week and after Ubers is closer to about 150$ and that’s just to get back and forth from work for the week.
It’s winter and my house needs oil my mom isn’t working rn either she asked us all to chip in to put oil im about two weeks ago. Apparently we are all out of oil again some how in two weeks. Now my moms asking for money again I don’t have it I just got done paying my own bills and I busted my ass this week to get a nice little paycheck next week but that’s probably gonna go towards another bill I have to pay immediately to the state for taxes cause my taxes got messed up.
But I’m ranting now we have some family members that have told me to get away from my mother on account if how greedy she is when it comes to money using bills as an excuse. Cause now she’s saying that we have to give money for oil and on top of that pay my aunt for money she gave for oil last week? If she gave you money for oil last week what happened there’s no way we’re running out of oil that fast or if she meant two weeks ago when we ALL chipped in again why tf would I have to pay her back when we all chipped in and on top of that she's staying here free? I’m not paying her back for anything I gave you money am I being crazy? Or selfish or do I make some type of sense here?
It’s winter and my house needs oil my mom isn’t working rn either she asked us all to chip in to put oil im about two weeks ago. Apparently we are all out of oil again some how in two weeks. Now my moms asking for money again I don’t have it I just got done paying my own bills and I busted my ass this week to get a nice little paycheck next week but that’s probably gonna go towards another bill I have to pay immediately to the state for taxes cause my taxes got messed up.
But I’m ranting now we have some family members that have told me to get away from my mother on account if how greedy she is when it comes to money using bills as an excuse. Cause now she’s saying that we have to give money for oil and on top of that pay my aunt for money she gave for oil last week? If she gave you money for oil last week what happened there’s no way we’re running out of oil that fast or if she meant two weeks ago when we ALL chipped in again why tf would I have to pay her back when we all chipped in and on top of that she's staying here free? I’m not paying her back for anything I gave you money am I being crazy? Or selfish or do I make some type of sense here?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Yo, that sounds like a really tough situation you're dealing with. I can totally understand why you'd be feeling frustrated and overwhelmed with everything that's going on.
It doesn't sound unreasonable at all for you to be hesitant about chipping in more money, especially when your financial situation is so tight right now. The fact that you're barely making enough to cover your own basic expenses, let alone pay for the oil and your aunt's money, is a completely valid concern.
And the way your mom is coming at you for more money, even after you already contributed, does sound a bit greedy and unfair. I get that bills and expenses come up, but if she's actually asking you to pay your aunt back for something she already covered, that just seems shady.
Honestly, it sounds like your family members who have told you to distance yourself from your mom might have a point. If she's constantly using bills and expenses as an excuse to squeeze more money out of you, that's not cool at all. Especially when you're already struggling to make ends meet yourself.
You gotta put your own financial wellbeing first, man. I know it's tough when it's your family, but you can't pour from an empty cup. If your mom and other relatives can't understand your situation and respect your boundaries, then you might need to start setting some firmer limits.
At the end of the day, you're not being unreasonable or selfish. You're just trying to survive and take care of yourself the best you can. Don't let them guilt-trip you into giving more than you can afford. Stay strong, and don't be afraid to put your foot down when you need to.
Never heard of a house needing oil! Like the furnace needs oil, the stove?
You said she is greedy so she won't ever accept any reasons you have for things. She wants money no questions asked
Be selfish protect yourself but also your under her roof so...
Well technically it’s my roof as much as hers me and my brother helped her by the house by cosinging. And I had a friend who said the same maybe it’s a New York thing but all the houses I’ve lived in and even neighbors and stuff around this time a year I always see an oils truck making rounds.
But yeah she very bad a managing her finances the first few months of living at this house she walks into me and my brothers rooms talking about the house is going into for closer and we all need to work together to pay. She hadn’t paid the last two months and then decide it was time to come bug everyone after she out us in that’s situation what’s even crazier is before we got the house since it’s so big me and my brother made sure we had a plan to help us pay for the house
Are mortgage is 4100$ a month we rented our whole upstairs for 2700$ a month yet she couldn’t pay that for two months?
I don’t wanna be ungrateful I know many kids helped their parent with the bill and I wanna help more too but something isn’t right with the finances on her part cause the math never adds up.
It never will add up she is greedy as people say
Never let people request things of you in an open-ended way in a living arrangement. Set expectations well in advance and have the payment be the same every month. Then it is fair.