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I dislike that my boyfriend appears to ONLY value men’s opinions. Anything I or any other woman says to him goes in one ear and out the other. But let a guy say the same thing and he's all ears and ready to take the advice.

Anyways, it made me question whose opinions I tend to value? I am very stubborn and not many people can get through to me. I can only think of one girl who has just really gotten through to me but I guess I notice that it’s mostly been guys, thus I value men’s opinions more.

I don't know if my guy simply values the male view more because he’s so insecure and intimidated by other men, which he says all the time. But I value the guys perspective because I want to know how to captivate, communicate with, and better understand the gender that I’m attracted to.

Some may call that a “pick me” but I don’t consider it the same thing. I feel pick me’s seek validation while I more so want advice and guidance. Who better to understand a guy I’m into than a guy himself?

If I wanted advice on how to improve my appearance, dress style or to better control my emotions, then I’d seek a woman’s advice since we better understand one another’s insecurities and reactions. I rarely ask other women for advice on guys though because so many take it as competition to go after that same guy. Its so weird. Girlcode always seems to go out the window.

Another thing could be that I grew up looking up to my grandpa more than anyone else. I also got along best with my male cousin and my uncle. My friends have always been 90% guys. Like, my mom held it down for a bit but her inconsistent behavior and broken promises really got to me. So I stopped looking up to her. Maybe she, my grandma and a bunch of flaky female friends and cousins ruined it for other women too.

Some men have wronged me but never as many men as women. I guess same can be said for my boyfriend since he feels more women have wronged him yet all I ever see these days is men treating him badly. #FeelFreeToList

So my dad saw me at his home 6 months back and hit my boyfriend coz he thought we both had sex and my dad said him to have sex with me after marrying me. Now after this, my boyfriend stopped having sex with me since 6 months, but we met outside. He cheated on me on weekends but never broke up with me - I saw his phone where he downloaded bumble and also when I asked him to show me his phone, he hid from me. He never used to hide anything like his phone or laptop from me before. But he always told me that he loves me, never cheated on me and waited for me at the station for 30 minutes just to meet me post work and he kept telling me that I should trust him blindly and not ask him to check his phone coz it hurts his integrity. I got one number while checking his phone and I asked her on WhatsApp. That girl showed me call logs of long conversation with him ( this time when I was sure of him ignoring me) she said that he was looking for casual sex for which she denied and blocked him. I confronted my boyfriend and asked him and he said me that he can't have sex with me so he asked her ( coz my dad hit him). I never denied him to have sex with me but he always denied me when I asked him for sex, saying he respects my dad and won't have sex with me before marriage. Since I was sexually deprived and frustrated, I cheated on him after the day he hid his phone from me. And I slept with 3 different guys. And I also told him that I love him and am monogamous. Right now he is in his hometown to fight for me for marriage and he always said me that I'm his long term girl. Since I also slept with guys hookups, I don't feel sad or guilty anymore. He said me we will court marry if his parents disagree our intercaste marraige. I may times told him to block me and he kept telling me that he finds me in other girls, he tried to but is unable to. I am also unable to go away from him but to satisfy my vagina, am sleeping with other guys coz my boyfriend will fuck me after we marry.