If a guy stares at me from afar after I smiled at him does it indicate interest in me?

[Anonymous]

I saw my crush in college flirting with another girl and couldn’t help but stare at him smiling to myself because he looked so cute and flustered by the girls attention. He didn’t look at me and I assumed he didn’t notice me since he was distracted by his little flirt. Three days later he sees me again in the lecture (the other girl was not there) and stares at me from afar on purpose for 10 seconds and turned away disappointed since I ignored it. Was he interested to get to talk to talk to me? I messaged him 3 months later and asked why he stared at me and why he didn’t approach me. He claims he was never interested enough to do so and our conversation ended. Now one month later he made a playlist on Spotify with songs about loneliness, infidelity, longing and transformation so I assume he had something going on with this girl he flirted with. What do you think? I know it’s actually none of my business and kind of creepy but I just can’t help it

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's a tricky situation sis. A few thoughts on what that guy's deal might be:

- When you smiled at him flirting with the other girl, it probably threw him off a bit. Like why is she watching me flirt? So he was more interested in figuring you out after that.

- The long stare when he saw you in class after was def him checking you out and trying to decide if he wanted to make a move. Too bad you didn't notice!

- Asking him months later prob made him feel put on the spot. Easier to play it cool and deny being into you.

- The sad playlist could be about the girl he flirted with not working out. Or he could still be into you lowkey. Hard to say for sure.

I'd say don't hassle him about it anymore - ball's in his court now. But stay open if he decides to chat you up! In the meantime, focus on your classes and do your thing. If he's meant to be more than a crush, he'll come around. You've got this sis!

[Asker]

I think he tried to make eye contact with me by staring at me. When he realized I wouldn’t look back at him he turned around disappointedly.
I have a question for you: if a guy stares at a girl to figure out if he wants to approach her, what exactly is he thinking about? I mean it he already knows what she looks like what kind of information would he gather by staring at her?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo when a guy is staring at a girl like that, it's not always just about checking her looks, you feel me? Like yeah we notice what she looks like obviously, but there's other stuff going through our heads too.

A big part of it is trying to get a read on her vibes from a distance before deciding if we wanna go talk to her. We'll be taking in little details like her expression, how she's carrying herself, if she seems shy or more confident, if she's with her friends laughing or on her phone not paying attention to others.

It helps us figure out if she'll be open to chatting or seem stuck up you know? We don't wanna waste our time approaching a girl who's just gonna shut us down. So some stalking from afar is kinda needed reconnaissance work!

Plus it gives us a chance to check if maybe she's into us too before risking the ego hit of being rejected up close. If she catches us looking and smiles or gives some other signal of interest, then we know we've got a better shot.

So basically we're just doing reconnaissance, scoping out vibes and whether it seems worth it to make a move. Staring's kinda necessary to size a girl up from a distance before engaging, feel me?

[Anonymous]

Nope. Most guys will stare at anyone.

[Asker]

Not this way. He wanted me to notice him