Search Results: is sex all he cares about

30f and I really can’t tell if I’m inevitably single because I don’t want a relationship or it’s a case of self sabotage. Within the past few years, the only attention I’ve gotten from attractive guys were on dating apps. But that should be taken with a grain of salt, I feel like compared to the average woman, I don’t get attention from quality guys in person. I’m pretty shy and tend to speak when spoken to, on top of bad anxiety, I’ll say I question if women can relate to my lack of sex drive. I haven’t had sex since my early twenties/don’t masturbate and couldn’t care less if I died a virgin, will feel some kind of way if I’ve never found love though.

It’s as if I want the reassurance I’m desirable (from what seems like decent men) vs actually going out on dates, I’m insecure but wouldn’t just go for anyone that gives me the time of day. I just don’t get why it can’t ever go my way w/ the OLD apps, it’s likely bad luck but a pattern of: ghosting, fizzling out, the convo not flowing to my expectations & I dip out, just lack of interest (can go both ways) etc. I’m attracted to men, I really don’t think id date a woman but something about men at the same time turns me off (physically & personality wise). Like almost every woman I've known has been boy crazy since they were pre-teens and I never got it, I thought they were exaggerating or I was a late bloomer. Well here I am 2 decades later, my closest thing to boy crazy were celebrity crushes.

Am I looking for excuses to justify being single? Is it simply a case of being unlucky? Is there more to unpack here? Or is the right guy all it takes for it to fall into place?

I seen messages of him complimenting a girl he was with before me. So I lied and said I saw messages (they didn’t exist) saying you hated mines and preferred hers and he said what I’ve seen is out of context and him being funny. We had a bad break up and he hated me.

He said to me he preferred me and all his friends knew that. When we were together he would always want sex off me and was so annoyed I’d reject him a lot. He said he never stopped looking at me and if he wanted to this ex still really wanted him he could have had her if he wanted to. Which is true.

But he would rarely compliment me and if it was it was always about my bum. He went on and on about how big it was etc. but to get more than that I had to ask.

He said I knew how hot I was so he didn’t want to compliment me and everyone knows I’m hot and my ego is huge. I get a lot of attention and people messaging me and he was jealous. He didn’t get attention and I did. He said I was so big headed with this (I wasn’t) so he didn’t like complimenting me

He said look at his instagram following and the models he follows they all have my body type which is true they do. And he told me he watched porn with girls with my exact body type and I looked so much like them. Which is also true.

She had the opposite body to me I’m smaller boobs a small c cup and big bum and she had bigger boobs and a really small bum. He’s always said his type is big bums and she doesn’t care about boobs. But “bigged hers up” and found them perfect.

Did he hate my body and prefer her?