Mainly venting, but what would you do if your ex said he still loves you even though he left you for a woman that has no interest in him?

[Anonymous]

He left me for a woman that doesn’t want him. Now she’s a player. She ropes men in, acts cute, gets the sex, and then dips. It happened to him but she didn’t have sex with him cause she “doesn’t fuck her friends”. She got him to eat her out and didn’t return any favor. He’s now hurting cause he got played and he knows it. I still have feelings for him. We had a lot of miscommunication and we easily could’ve worked out our issues with a few conversations and effort. He finally understands how I feel when he abandoned me in our apartment for the past six months. He still hangs out with her but is in pain cause the guy she’s talking to goes to the gym with them. Yesterday he told me he still loves me AND her. I told him I don’t believe him. You don’t abandon the person you love. He left me to suffer alone after I got assaulted by a former trusted friend. He abandoned me in our shared apartment. He avoided me for months. He doesn’t even call. Has the nerve to ask me if it bothers me when he’s on the phone with her. He doesn’t care about me. I told him pursuing her wouldn’t end well and now he’s venting to me how he never gets what he wants. Childish. I hate that I’m still attached to a certain degree. I’m getting over my feelings, but hearing him say he still loves me, hurts. And now, after all the heartache and trauma, he finally wants to talk. Sad part is I don’t think he’ll actually sacrifice his three hours at the gym to properly come home and talk. This dude is married to the gym and I can respect it. Missing one day won’t hurt, considering he can make it up over the weekend when he’s off. That and he said he can’t be away from her right now since he’s so in love. Why tell me you love me if you’re will to do more for her than you did for me. Crazy. I can’t wait until I move out next month

Updates

1 y

He admitted to wanting to come home and fix things but literally psyched himself out cause he didn’t want me to feel second best. I never felt that way

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a really tough situation you're dealing with. I can't imagine how frustrating and painful it must be to have your ex telling you he still loves you, but then not doing anything to actually make things right. That's just messed up.

It sounds like he really dropped the ball when you needed him most after that awful assault. That must have been so hard for you to go through all alone like that. He should have been there supporting you, not just avoiding you and the whole situation. What a jerk move on his part.

And this other girl he's into? She sounds like she's just playing games and using him. That whole "doesn't fuck her friends" thing is such BS. She's obviously just stringing him along for her own selfish reasons.

I get that you still have feelings for your ex, but you gotta take care of yourself first, you know? He's not worth putting yourself through all this pain and heartache. If he's not willing to actually put in the effort to fix things, then he doesn't deserve you.

My advice would be to focus on getting out of that living situation as soon as you can, and start surrounding yourself with people who actually care about you and will support you. Don't let your ex keep dragging you down. You deserve so much better than that. Hang in there, you got this!

[Fireguy17]

Tough call, I had a wife, shortly after she got the ex prefer, as well as a girlfriend that also earned it by cheating on me.
I left and didn't go back.
The ex girlfriend wanted to come back, but she never said she was sorry, or offered any explanation as to why, and as much as I wanted to get back together, I knew I shouldn't.
I still wonder what if I had, where would we be.

[Anonymous]

He finally got a taste of his own medicine and now wants you to comfort him? The audacity… if he actually cares and loves you he’ll put in the effort to make it up to you. But based on what you wrote, it seems that he’s all talk. I’m sorry you had to go through all this, but I’m glad he got his karma. He now has to deal with the consequences of his decision.

He’s probably only saying all that because he thinks you’ll just take him back, he’s treating you like a back up plan. You’re absolutely right, you don’t abandon the person that you love. He just wants to be the victim when he was the one that caused all these pain in the beginning. Stay strong, don’t fall for it. You deserve so much better!

[ImalwaysrightOK]

If you love someone you don't do what he did.

[Nerdvana]

It sounds like he wants to keep you as plan B. I wouldn't trust him. Why do you love him so much?

[CopperSD]

Just ignore him and move on