
Unfortunately most people aren’t honest about what they’re wanting when they are going to use someone. They love bomb I’ve discussed the signs someone isn’t who someone seems, but these are the reasons behind it. Of possible reason there may be reasons I missed feel free to add those.
Idealization
Some people are in love with the idea in being in love. These people don’t have as much nefarious intentions most of the time. But they have unrealistic expectations for what love is and when you cannot live up to their expectations they will eventually discard of you as well as be resentful. You may just be their vehicle to fulfill their own fantasies not giving any cares about your own wants and needs. They may also be in love with a image of you not who you really are, so that can cause major issues later down the road when their fantasy of you crumbles.
Transactional Relationships
Some people are honest about what they’re wanting but unfortunately most people are not. You may be in a transactional relationship without even realizing it. The only good thing about this is that the other partner will fulfill their end of the bargain. But it’s still bad since they aren’t with you because they wanted a genuine connection. They may seemingly do everything expected of them however if there isn’t a connection on their end they may still cheat as well as eventually discard you if they find someone better. This isn’t the worst type since many are one sided but they can become that way over time as well.
They want to be enabled
There are a lot of people who want someone to rescue them, save them from themselves, or change them. When in reality they aren’t wanting to get better they are wanting a enabler. These people use their family, friends, as well as romantic partners as a means to enable themselves NOT grow. They may act like they want it and even for a time seemingly do better but they always go back to the way they were if not worse. They always play the victim and have every excuse as to the way they are. You will become exhausted trying to change this person but it can’t be done unless they genuinely want it. They want someone to feel sympathy for them and enable their choices not heal them…. Empathetic men and women need to be aware of this not to fall into this miserable trap. Especially because once you stop enabling them you’ll be discarded.
Fear of loneliness
Some people will be with someone even if they feel zero attraction. Unfortunately leading people on who think they are genuinely as interested in them as they are. But sadly it’s just not the case and as soon as someone better comes along you’re discarded. You were just a crutch for the time being. This happens with future faking where someone says they want a future but when it comes down to it. Never proposes or rejects any proposals to marriage. Always having some excuse even if it’s a bad one. The worst part is if someone does go ahead and marry since nobody else came along and end up having a lot of affairs and a nasty divorce.
Sexual Gratification
Not everyone is honest about wanting to hook up. Some people even see it as a challenge stringing someone along just to have sex but not intending on building any romantic connection. The only time they call is for sex and when they get bored of you or when someone stops giving it. They ghost you and discard of you. They conquered you. They're off to the next victim. Don’t get me wrong it’s not only men who do this either. Women can as well.
Financial Reasons
There are people who marry for money so please be careful if you have money. Someone whose only with you for money may not be completely honest. But if that’s all they want you’ll be cheated on, discarded for someone else eventually, as well as end up with them blowing it. But you don’t have to be super rich to be taken advantage of and women you can also be taken advantage of financially. When gold diggers cannot find someone rich to take advantage of. They will find someone whose barely making ends meet. They may play the victim and cry because they are struggling regardless of if they actually are. They may make expensive demands or threaten to leave. The opposite of future faking is rushing marriage as well. If you feel like someone’s going way too fast for you. Please be aware there may be other intentions and they may fully intend on discarding you.
Social Status
This is another unfortunate one where someone may not be at all interested in you. But interested in getting to know other people as well as up their own social status simply for being with someone. Such as someone may in high school date a popular football player or cheerleader, for no other reason then social status. Even if they don’t really care at all for the person they’re dating. It happens as well in real life. You may be a figure, you may be someone people admire, maybe a job title, and the list goes on. They may not be in love with you or even care about you. They care about boosting themselves. If you lost your position they would discard you in a flash.
Control and Power
This one’s really bad because a lot of times they will take advantage of someone in a vulnerable situation. They will swoop in as your hero but quickly become a zero once they have control. Financial control so you can’t leave. They may want to rush marriage (red flags) and make you sign a prenup with zero protections for yourself. They may fully plan on discarding you later or holding that threat over your head. Knowing that you have no financial independence. Being dependent on them. They want control over you physically. They may want to force you to have sex or on the other extreme control you by withholding it. Using sex as a means to control you even if they have nothing else to offer. If you’re the bread winner someone may control you financially by blowing your money and guilt trip you when you’re not spending massive amounts on them. They want to control everything you do at every waking moment of the day.
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