Reasons why romantic partners may be disingenuous and pretending to be someone they’re not

[Summeroflove]

Keep in mind some of these reasons are more nefarious then others. So watch out for the warning signs someone’s not who they say they are.

Fear of rejection:

Fear of rejection is one reason someone may pretend to be someone they’re not. Even if there is genuine interest they may worry that certain personality traits, past choices, and the list goes on will get them rejected especially if it has before. But you just can’t trust someone who lies to you especially not long term. They are worried that if they show their true authentic self that someone won’t want them.

Low Self-Esteem:

Major reason as to why someone may be disingenuous is similar to the first possibility but a little different. These people just think of themselves and see themselves poorly. Many times trying to overcompensate by trying to make themselves to be more then they really are. They may embellish stories some may make things up entirely just to try to impress someone.

Desire For Control:

This is one of the more nefarious possibilities as to when someone isn’t being genuine. They may create a false persona of themselves as a means to control someone. They may act like a victim in some instances and in others make themselves seem large and in charge. But really they are just pathetic individuals. They want to control the outcomes of what people are going to do, how they will react, as well as how people see them. They may play on someone’s heart stings as a means to manipulate someone into doing what they want to. While also getting out of having to do anything for someone else. They may tell false stories of things that happened to them. Create false medical or mental health conditions. They may love bomb as well as neglect affection as well as using sex all as a means to control someone. Make someone believe they are their soulmate as well as pretend to be more religious then they really are and use the God card on someone. By saying God wants this for us and taking Bible verses out of context as a means of controlling someone.

Short-Term Intentions

Unfortunately some people don’t see you as a future partner. Short term intentions could mean a number of things as rushing marriage is a red flag so is future faking. Some people pick to be with someone just to have someone until they can find better as well as have someone to fall back on. Some people want to use someone for sex as well so they will manipulate someone into thinking they want something more to get into someone’s pants. Sometimes it’s a challenge. They want to make someone or another jealous and unfortunately you’re the victim they selected. They may want someone as a rebound and emotional support as well as for intimacy until they find someone else. The list goes on. Some people will make you feel like they want something serious. Then…. Ghost you. That’s because you served the purpose in thier life that they needed.

Past Trauma

This is one that they are scared to be vulnerable with someone out of fear of it it being used against them. It past partners used their trust to get them to tell them sensitive information and then throw it back in their face. For more serious physical or sexual trauma they may be wanting to cover that up as well as be fearful of what you may do to them. They may. This could be a defensive mechanism to hide who they really are to not get hurt.

Influence of societal standards as well as family and friends expectations

Someone may want to seem a certain way even if it’s not who they are because it’s what they been taught is what they’re supposed to be. Such as a man may hide emotions because he was taught men aren’t supposed to have emotions (trust me they come out later) a woman may hide her sexuality. Her history…. Etc. Because people have shamed her and rejected her over her sexuality. Things like that I can list a million examples.

Superficial and materialistic gain:

A lot of people who are superficial and/or materialistic aren’t going to be honest about what they are looking for. A major red flag is the opposite of future faking it’s rushing someone to sign a marriage contract to lock them down as soon as possible. As well as refusing any prenup or making a one sided prenup that only benefit’s themselves. They want someone for financial reasons if someone has a lot of money or has a career with good benefits. If someone’s wanting someone for social status if you’re someone whose a popular figure in your community as well as to make connections to other people as well as impress people. For appearances. Maybe it’s just they are desperate to start a family. They may fake to have religious or political beliefs that they don’t actually hold as a means to obtain a certain lifestyle.

These are just some of the possibly reasons. I’m sure there are others as well including sone I will think of after the fact.

[Nikki1989]

They seek constant validation and approval, and pretending feels like a way to secure it.

[Summeroflove]

I agree. Unfortunately there is some more nefarious reasons as well. Such as people who want to marry for money.

Most of those people aren’t going yo be honest. Due to the fact that someone who wants a serious relationship doesn’t want to be used as a ATM. But they will love bomb someone and pretend to be someone they’re not.