Search Results: physical and sexual attraction

When I was a younger man, I frequently said that if I was not initially attracted to a woman, it would probably never happen and there was no sense in wasting time pursuing her as a romantic partner. That statement was true. It never did happen - not when I was younger - perhaps because I never gave an "unattractive" (unattractive to me) woman a chance.

In 2015, I started dating a woman who was a good match for me in many ways. She was a retired judge, obviously bright and articulate, and we had many other common interests. She also fit the "type" of woman who I usually pursue. She is petite, has dainty features, and she enjoys physical affection. I was very quickly attracted to her. We eventually had a sexual relationship that was very satisfying for both of us, but I broke up with her because she never fell in love with me as I fell for her.

Looking back on that relationship, I don't know why I was physically attracted to her. Most guys who met her would probably rate her as a 3/10, and so would I, but when I was dating her, I thought she was a 7/10 or 8/10. Maybe the years and experiences have changed me, or maybe I just developed the attraction because I gave her a chance.

Have you ever had that experience?

A lot of people, ESPECIALLY guys who have been friendzoned by girls, confuse the two, but there is a difference.

With the friendzone, they never had any sexual/romantic/physical/whatever attraction to you to begin with, and you're deluding yourself by believing otherwise.

The whole "admired from afar" thing is what most guys (and writers of Hollywood romantic comedies) THINK the friendzone is: They ARE into you, at least on some level, there are even mutual friends that can see it, but for whatever reason, they stubbornly refuse to actually act on these feelings. In some ways it's like dealing with someone who's been indoctrinated: That part of them that's into shines through, but whatever it is that holding her back takes over. Is their a chance that you can get them to come around? Yes. But there's also the danger of them taking the cowardly way out, cutting you out of their life completely so they don't have to deal with these feelings anymore.

So which would feel worse for you?