Search Results: hate most about dating

I used to be extremely shy. My parents are strict: so I couldnt go out to the movies (until now, I'm 17), go on sleepovers (even if it was all girls), watch more than 30min of tv a day, sit with my peers (I had to sit with my parents), date...🙄 On and on. I didn't get a phone till last year and I've been homeschooled all my life. I guess you could say I got a lot of attention from the guys so the girls either hated me and thought I was stuck up. I was too shy and didn't show any interest in the guys that flirted/liked me. I've never dated or been kissed. My focus is on being successful scholastically and making myself a better person. I am building up my confidence and when I force myself to reach out and make friends and most people that know me well like me. Because girls tend to glare at me and guys stare but don't approach me, I am as kind as possible and don't brag about anything (clothes, school, boys etc).

So I'm kinda interested in dating and guys lol but I don't know if any of them are interested in me anymore. Several guys have pursued me for years, flirted with me but gave up, play hot and cold etc. do they just consider me a challenge? Do they stare at me because they like me or just to look? Do they not approach me because they think I'll say no or cause they don't like me? I've watched my friends go through bad guys so I can tell when a guys a player. I'm talking about nice/regular guys that do this. It's I'm graduating next year so maybe when I go away to college... cause I'm stuck in a complicated situation. Help!

So my guy friend comes up to me after we get out of lunch and he puts his arms around me and told my other group of friends that we were dating and we held each other and our faces touched for like 5 seconds...

honestly I loved that feeling... we always flirt with each other and everyone thinks we're with each other and I deny it of course... sometimes he acts super into me then the next he acts like he hates me and calls me annoying... we walk each other to class, we hug all the time, and we've had sexual conversations...

everyday after lunch he comes up and puts his arm on my shoulder and I put my arm on his stomach... a friend of ours saw and said "I ship it" and I playfully put my hand around his neck cause I thought he felt awkward but then he said "damn it Cam you always ruin everything" ... but recently I put my arms around him from behind and he held my hand there and it gave me butterflies😅Which I've never gotten...

I'm honestly to the point where if we were alone I'd cry tears of joy... I want him in every way😅👀and Im scared he doesn't feel the same plus he's white and I'm black and in my head I see nothing wrong with that but where we live most people would lose their shit if we were together😕 advice?