3 Big Reasons Why I Hate the Current Dating Culture

3 Big Reasons Why I Hate the Current Dating Culture

The dating culture is rigged, and at the risk of seeming like the whiny kid who gets on the internet every time he doesn't get his way, I will explain why. Also, this isn't an attack on men or women, just what I have noticed.

It favors women

This is so glaringly obvious, but most women just deny it. Who is expected to make the first move? Who is generally expected to pay for dates? The emotional support? Provide physical safety? It seems that largely in dating men take on the task of catering to her and her needs.

3 Big Reasons Why I Hate the Current Dating Culture

Double standards

What's hers is hers and what's mine is hers. Yes, this is just a playful poke at women's tendencies, to collect property of their current boyfriend. But the same stays true throughout the early stages of dating. For example, on Facebook I see girls posting quotes about how men won't talk to them or how they want to be treated with respect, and those same girls are at the club every weekend with their ass out and repeat the process.

Or my favorite is the selection process. Guys get shamed looking for traits in girls, but women get to be uber-selective, and sometimes can't even remain consistent and jump from guy to guy.

3 Big Reasons Why I Hate the Current Dating Culture

What about the shy guys?

I have always been tentative around girls for most of my life because of a lot of trauma directly related to my interest in them from earlier in my life. By no means am I shy, but I have no belief that a girl would want to talk to me or be involved romantically. Now to me, most would say, "you have to forget all that and grow a pair and ask her out".

I bet you would have a little different response if it was a girl saying all the same things. Probably something like, "just be patient and the right guy will go talk to you. He doesn't deserve you if he wouldn't talk to you." Why doesn't a shy guy deserve a girl? Maybe he just needs the same thing.

Thanks for reading, let me know what your thoughts are. Let's keep it civil. 😁

3 Big Reasons Why I Hate the Current Dating Culture
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Spectrumom
    You said this isn't aimed at men or women but it is clearly aimed at women. C'mon now.

    1. You might be right in that many women expect men to pay for dates, do the asking out, etc. However, there are plenty of men who are put off by women who pursue, women who are more aggressive, etc. I've experienced it. I personally insist that I pay my own way, whether the dude likes it or not. Because if I don't like him or hit it off I am not going to feel obligated to see him again because he bought my dinner.

    Although I am blanking on how women aren't expected to provide emotional support. Elaborate.

    2. Women who are not modest aren't less deserving of your respect as people. It is fine if you prefer a woman who is modest but there is really no reason for you to act as if they don't deserve respect. You respect people for who they are, not how well they fit your idea of who they ideally should be.

    Men and women are equally responsible for being selective. If you've ever dated online as a woman, you'll see it. Statements like "I like to be active" or "I stay fit" are great ways to let us know that you're going to be overly critical of our bodies or that you already have an idea of what we should look like. Which is wrong, women shouldn't do that either. You can't dream up an idea of how a potential mate should look and then reject people who don't fit your imaginary vision.

    I have to beg to differ that this favors women. If that were true, "dadbod" wouldn't be a positive thing and men would think stretch marks were hot. But instead women are gaining 40 lbs and birthing children and being shamed for how it affects their body. Yet men are encouraged because they chose to get fat while their SO was pregnant.

    3. You being shy isn't a dating culture problem, that is a personal issue in your control. You do have to put yourself out there and if you get rejected, move on from it. It isn't about someone not deserving you. It's about not everyone liking you necessarily and that's okay. Someone else's opinion of you is just their opinion. Not your reality.
    LikeDisagree 4 People
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    • AnonRom

      1. I don't know your personal experience but I have never met a man who dislikes when a girl is independent. It might be that he thinks you are running your offer as a shit test (I have seen it happen).
      2. I don't disagree here as far as attraction goes the only difference is that men are shamed for having standards while women are celebrated for having high standards.
      3. I couldn't agree more here and I'm a pretty shy guy myself with people I find attractive its something that can be held as a standard and its something guys should work with if they want more girls to like them.

Most Helpful Guy

  • ModernDayCrusader
    Lets bring back honor, family, and upholding traditions and values
    When a woman honors herself and her family and upholds traditional values
    Herself becomes infinitely more valuable

    I wouldn't mind, courting a woman who was worth it. I wouldn't mind spending money on a girl, taking her out and making her feel good.

    I mind that women generally do very little and expect so much when it comes to dating
    Like 2 People
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What Girls & Guys Said

  • lizziepooh03
    It is not the current dating culture you should hate but the whole male/female dynamic.

    What you listed is just life. Yes - dating is favored to the women. Men court and women pick. This is how most things are done in nature. Look to birds and their mating patterns and watch those male birds dance for a female. lol!

    You can't hate something for just be something? Can you?
    Disagree 2 People
    • Darkone1

      But in nature also accepts males as dominant and having every edge on weak females out there, they fuck multiple partners and change the list of partners every year. They always use weak females,

      You will accept this Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
      I know what you will say now, Hi I am feminist , You just disrespect the female gender, we deserve rights and equality and stuff like that. If those poor beings are not good they could have replaced us as dominant species, So don't bring nature in to this.

    • Harpesian

      But what if you CAN hate something for just being something?

    • Jolson131

      Also, women used to want a gentleman. Now they want a gentleman in the form of an asshole... which doesn't make anysense

    • Show All
  • Youdoyouboo
    Hey, I love your post. Totally agree with everything β„…100. Basically if you don't go by the world's "rules of dating" you're an outcast. You couldn't have put it better. I hate dating lol sometimes it makes me feel like the little woman **pat on the head**. Not sure if that makes sense but.. also, the chivalry thing is sweet to a point but when its expected.. gag me with a spoon. Wait. Don't even gag me just shove it all the way down and let me die questioning my sexuality.
    Like 1 Person
  • Glue-Sniffer
    This has nothing to do with the current dating scene. It has been like this for virtually since the dawn of time.
    The only difference is that now parents don't go around and find their kids appropriate matches like they did some 150 years ago.
    LikeDisagree 4 People
  • thecd1979
    Yes sir, I agree there's lots of double standards. Best thing anyone can do is not take it all so serious and just focus on themselves, their goals, working hard , being happy and enjoying their life. If its meant to be the right person will come along
  • martyfellow
    Chuckle, you should make a mini-documentary with the characters in the illustrations.
    Like 1 Person
    • Jolson131

      Hahahahaha best idea yes

    • Yes, generally, in the state of traditional dating now, girls are more and more exempt from ANY criticism for their behavior, no matter how shallow or selfish, while guys get put down most all the time unless they are wealthy.

    • this is why more and more people, guys especially, opt out of traditional dating now. I gave it up at 17 and never looked back, and I feel I saved myself from a lot of the double standards you mention.

  • Fathoms77
    Shyness works very differently in the dating world for both men and women, that's for sure. :)
    Like 2 People
  • yucel_eden
    I agree with all of this but unfortunately we can't change things.
  • smorgasbord
    ok, so you're a man cannot handle rejection or things that aren't in your favour? cool.
  • Anonymous
    Love this take, agree 100%!
  • Anonymous
    I don't necessarily hate it. There is just a balance to it. One person gets it easy while another will get fucked. It's simply just finding yourself as one or the other. I've come to accept it so I just don't focus on romance and just focus on other aspects of my life. At night it can suck lying alone but the rest of my time awake it's not so bad.