As it’s the run up to Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d drop a list of my feelings on the phenomena that is online dating and why it sucks. This is not really about how using online dating to hookup but more about the tribulations on finding Mr/Mrs right in the digital age. If you met the love of your life online, congrats and this take is not aimed at you!
1. You’re just bored
Let’s face it, these days most people spend the majority of their day with their phone in their hand. You’re on lunch break or maybe you’re sat on the toilet trying to slack off for five minutes and what do you do? Whip out the phone and start swiping. Swiping becomes a game, something to pass the time and you’re not even really paying much attention to anyone’s profile. NEXT, NEXT, NEXT…
2. It makes you shallow
Now I know everyone is entitled to their preferences, you all like who you like but this point isn’t really about that. As you’re already bored and already just swiping away, you start to become a whole lot more shallow than you would be in real life. He’s got the wrong coloured hair or her ass isn’t as big as I’d like. Whatever it is, you’re viewing people with a magnifying lense and they suddenly have to be just right. The thing is though, if that cute girl you swiped left on smiled at you in the grocery store, you probably wouldn’t have minded the things that were just not quite right about her – in fact, you probably wouldn’t have even noticed.
3. Nobody is just right
How tall is he? How far away does she live? Does her religion the same as mine? You carry around a mental laundry list of what’s acceptable for you to actually ask someone on a freaking date. You’re looking for the ideal man or Ms Perfect. We forget that imperfections sometimes make us love someone a whole lot more than we thought they would. You also have no idea that the girl with the wrong hair colour loves the same pizza topping as you and loves the same music or the guy who’s too short has read all the same books as you. The little things are what count and we forget all that when we’re totally focusing on the visual.
Some of you may be aware of those with profiles who list the things they aren’t looking for. My first tip: stop doing that. You may think that will weed out the people you don’t want but honestly it can also really turn off someone you may actually be perfect for. Nobody wants to see a profile full of negativity – nobody wants to know about how you’ve been hurt before or how you only want a girl who’ll pay her way etc. On top of that are those who love to give backhanded compliments or try their hand at negging. “How is a beautiful girl like you still single?” or “You look crazy, good job I like crazy girls, they’re more fun”. Er, how about you back out of my DM’s please and keep your negativity to yourself.
5. Love isn’t a game
These apps, these sites are all just another game to play. There are rules, directions, winners, losers. Some guys play the odds and will swipe right on all the girls they come across, just to up the chance of their matches. Some girls will match with people just to feel good about the amount of guys who will want them. Either way, we have all come across those people who are just wasting our time. It’s time to log off and go and meet people! Go out into the world and find someone who likes the same shit as you, go talk to that cute girl you always stand behind in line at the grocery store, don’t spend your whole life glued to your phone because your worth is not measured in matches and you deserve better.