Search Results: comparing guys

30F & I wonder if most women get where I’m coming from. I’ve never been in a real relationship, saw someone very briefly in my early twenties. Haven’t had sex either since then and don’t feel the need to, masturbating doesn’t do anything for me. Also doesn’t help that I’m not the friendliest, the only way I’ve met up with guys over the years were on dating apps. I get attention on them but it just feels off in a way, I’ve always felt like I am going to end up alone. I don’t want kids but like the idea of getting married, over the years people have justified my single status to being picky or shy etc. Those are excuses or cop outs, I feel like compared to the average woman though I likely get less attention from guys in person.

Literally the only attention I’ve gotten from guys I find attractive are on dating apps, in person maybe someone I was outside with would tell me that this guy looked at me etc (on and off throughout the years). But they never make it known to me directly, it makes me second guess things. It’s like I always wonder why I never have a boyfriend if I’m told I’m attractive, I also hear about a lot of introverted/socially awkward women that are in long term relationships. I really wonder if finding the right person is the answer to all my issues, I’ve spoken to guys in the past and tend to find ways to get out of it before I determine if they’re a good fit or not. Something about guys has always felt…different. Since I was in my teens, never got the craze with being boy crazy etc.

30F and I wonder if most women get where I’m coming from. I’ve never been in a real relationship, saw someone very briefly in my early twenties. Haven’t had sex either since then and don’t feel the need to, masturbating doesn’t do anything for me. Also doesn’t help that I’m not the friendliest, the only way I’ve met up with guys over the years were on dating apps. I get attention on them but it just feels off in a way, I’ve always felt like I am going to end up alone. I don’t want kids but like the idea of getting married, over the years people have justified my single status to being picky or shy etc. Those are excuses or cop outs, I feel like compared to the average woman though I likely get less attention from guys in person.

Literally the only attention I’ve gotten from guys I find attractive are on dating apps, in person maybe someone I was outside with would tell me that this guy looked at me etc (on and off throughout the years). But they never make it known to me directly, it makes me second guess things. It’s like I always wonder why I never have a boyfriend if I’m told I’m attractive, I also hear about a lot of introverted/socially awkward women that are in long term relationships. I really wonder if finding the right person is the answer to all my issues, I’ve spoken to guys in the past and tend to find ways to get out of it before I determine if they’re a good fit or not. Something about guys has always felt…different. Since I was in my teens, never got the craze with being boy crazy etc.

It might involve sexual things or it might not and I’d be clear about my intentions from the beginning. Not that long ago he said something that implied he’d date me if he could. That combined with a long flirtatious and semi-romantic history between us and the way I’ve seen him look at me and act with me makes me believe there’s a good chance he’d be with me.

REASONS I FEEL IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA:

• My mom and I saw a movie in which a woman decided to be with a guy despite knowing he’s going to die. My mom said it’s not about how long the connection lasts, it’s about how deep it is. That made me feel like maybe it’s worth experiencing a relationship with my friend even though my ultimate goal is to find someone else.

• A part of me feels like life is short, and I should live in the moment as long it’s not something unsafe.

• I’m afraid that if I don’t take my chance while I have it, I’ll never know for the rest of my life how it feels to truly be with him romantically.

• I want him so badly it sometimes drives me crazy.

• A part of me feels like the reasons for not being with him don’t really matter when I want him so badly.

REASONS I FEEL IT MIGHT BE A BAD IDEA:

• I’ve never had a first kiss or date before and a part of me wants to save those things for a guy I feel more romantic about.

• I’m afraid I won’t be able to not compare the way my future fiancé touches me with the way my friend would touch me.

• A part of me hopes to lose my virginity to someone I’m more deeply in love with.

• Since I’m uncertain about the situation, a part of me feels like a ‘better safe than sorry’ approach is best.