Guy is being pushy?

[Lalalove11]

He texts me a lot during the day.

And we have not met yet. At first I wasn't sure on meeting him as his English is poor, but I am still willing to try! I haven't even met him yet and he texts multiple times a day and wants to meet tomorrow but he knows I'm working? So he wants to meet extra early which bothers me as I prefer to meet on a day off. I have tried to tell him this and he just texts randomly, I'm coming up tomorrow. It's almost scary 😂 I am probably on the spectrum, so I have to meet on a day off because then I can plan everything and I'll have way more energy compared to if I've been working.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh man, that sounds like a really uncomfortable situation. It's great that you're willing to give this guy a chance, but the way he's been acting is super pushy and kind of sketchy.

The constant texting, the insisting on meeting up even when you've said you'd prefer a day off - that's all major red flags. Especially since you haven't even met him in person yet. That's way too much, too fast.

I get that you're willing to try, but you've gotta listen to your gut on this one. If his behavior is already making you feel scared or overwhelmed, that's a big problem. Especially since you mentioned being on the spectrum - having that extra planned time and energy is so important.

Don't let him pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable with. Your wellbeing and comfort should be the top priority here. If he can't respect your boundaries and your needs, then he's probably not worth your time, you know?

Maybe you could suggest meeting up on one of your days off, when you have the time and energy to devote to it. And if he keeps being pushy, don't be afraid to just walk away. You deserve someone who will treat you with respect and understanding, not someone who makes you feel scared or overwhelmed. Trust your gut on this one, girl. You've got this!

[Lalalove11]

Yeah I'm already anxious but now he's just being kind of pushy I feel by suddenly saying I'm coming up tomorrow. He seems impatient and I don't understand what the rush is about.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof, that's really sketchy, girl. The fact that he's being so pushy and insisting on suddenly coming to see you tomorrow, even though you've made it clear that doesn't work for you, is a huge red flag.

I totally get why you're feeling anxious about this whole situation - his behavior is not cool at all. The constant texts, the impatience, trying to steamroll over your boundaries... that's just a recipe for an uncomfortable, potentially unsafe situation.

You're definitely right to be cautious here. There's no good reason for him to be in such a rush to meet up, especially when you've already said you prefer to do it on your day off. That screams of him trying to manipulate the situation for his own benefit, with no regard for your needs.

I really think you need to put your foot down hard on this one. Be super clear that you are not comfortable with him coming to see you tomorrow, and that if he keeps pushing it, you're going to have to cut off contact completely. Your safety and comfort have to come first.

Don't feel bad about being firm and setting those boundaries. You're not being unreasonable at all - he's the one being a total disrespectful creep here. Trust your gut on this one, girl. If something feels off, don't ignore those instincts.

Honestly, I'd recommend taking a step back from this whole situation if he can't learn to respect you. You deserve so much better than some desperate dude who doesn't care about your needs. Stay strong, and don't let him walk all over you!

[Lalalove11]

I sent a firm text and he basically tried to guilt trip me after. I have chosen to not respond after that. He said
Why for so much everything is going well now you don't want to see me at all
It's a bit sad for me who was waiting so long to meet you

( English isn't his first language)

Then he asked if he was scaring me so I didn't respond. 😂it sounds like he isn't truly respecting my decision so I'm shutting the door. It was scary for him to randomly say twice 'im coming up tomorrow ' 😬

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"I have tried to tell him this and he just texts randomly"

I miss a lot of important info here, what is it exactly that you told, or tried to tell him?

[Lalalove11]

I try to tell him the days I'm working and therefore can't meet. He has ignored this twice by randomly saying 'i am visiting tomorrow ' which gave me a lot of anxiety because we hadn't discussed the day that suits both of us

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Come on! Stop for a moment and tell me how you don't see the disastrous beginning it is lol !

When a guy is not even able to register your discomfort after you told him, when you are being ignored for such BASIC situations. Do you see the terrible implications for any future communication with him...

[Lalalove11]

Haha I'm used to gaslighting myself I guess but yea I am getting really nervous I just know something is wrong about this since he's being pushy and not listening to me. What should I do or say?

[Lalalove11]

He also checks my messages immediately after I send them it kind of creeps me out. He commented about how I take a while to reply compared to him

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Then if you know that something is wrong, you know what to do, leave this terrible scenery at once please, with any method you'll find !

[Lalalove11]

Yes done , I texted and said I didn't want to meet. Now he is guilt tripping but it's fine. It's a bit hard to demand respect but clearly he wasn't going to respect me.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Clearly he wasn't. And he didn't even try to hide it, not before and not after lol

[Anonymous]

You sound like a tough match. Be clear on what makes you comfortable and what doesn't so he doesn't have to guess. Be kind if he's decent. ... It might not work out.

[Lalalove11]

He was being creepy and complained that he replied immediately but I took a few hours. I'm glad to have called it off. I know I am a difficult person though.

[Opinion Owner]

Just because you each think differently doesn't mean either of you are difficult. You just don't match.

[Lalalove11]

Yes you're right

[Jennz6]

That’s kinda creepy

[Lalalove11]

Yes you're right. I should trust my gut on this one and call it off

[Bklynbadboy12]

This dude is a creepy dump him