Search Results: sexual attraction

Over the years I’ve seen plenty of guys (myself included) gripe about women (especially western women). To a certain extent lots of our grievances are justified considering what feminism has done to western culture.

I have and always agreed with the premise of giving opportunities to women in traditionally male dominated spheres. But as feminism evolved (or should I say devolved) it now more often enables women to be their worst vs. be their best. Usually to the expense of men too but ultimately to the unhappiness and misery of women themselves

With all the said I fully believe there is a deeply engrained evolutionary reason why women tend to be much more selfish in dating.

There was a long time in history women had to use their sexuality to their advantage for both self-preservation and protection of their children. They had fewer opportunities then men and also aren’t as physically strong hence they had to make to with what they had to survive (e. g. manipulation vía sexual attraction). This also a reason why they cared much more about a man’s wealth and prominence. It would ensure her well being and increased survival.

Nowadays in western culture most if not all that bs female manipulation is no longer necessary. Women are not only given ample opportunity to make money but encouraged and supportive via college admissions and scholarship processes. Corporations often want to hire women over men to look “diverse”. The “wage gap” is a proven myth.

Despite the equal opportunities there a DNA instincts that still influence behavior to be more picky with men and to use their sexuality for their own one way benefits.

But we got to deal with this the same way you deal with a sociopath (not saying all women are sociopaths). A sociopath at default is incapable of feeling remorse, guilt, etc. Yelling at them won’t change anything. Instead you have to interact with them carefully. Same with how to deal with women. Love them but be very careful to trust them.

I knew her for 5 months. We never had a fight. At the end I sent her a message about sexual experiences, she wasn't interested much in responding. Left my last message on 'read'. 3 weeks later (no contact) she deleted me from the friends list. I subconciously knew that it could happen and when the day came, I texted her, she said that our goals were too different and she doesn't see a point in continuing.

Yes, I fell in love with her. We shared a lot of messages, many conversations with a sexual overtone. Met only 3 times. It was me chasing her, she turned down A LOT of propositions. My heart hurt with every rejection, also with a final one. Physical touch was hard with her. She said that she just is that way, but she also had some other guys around.

Everything would be fine, if I felt some attraction from her. But that was not the way it was. It was a crooked game I was playing, not sure if I really ever had a shot. Or did I have one and just missed.

3 weeks passed since the last contact. I can't stop thinking about her. Her birthday is coming up (of course I remember, I remember everything about her), and I keep overthinking of what should I do:
A) Send her a nice, very personalised and heart-warming wishes. Like many times I was the 'nice guy' with her. But that didn't lead me very far didn't it? Other than statements like 'Its really nice by you to say that'. Well in my heart I am that guy. And I really would love to do that and be somehow appreciated. But I also know the game.

B) Just a simple text 'enjoy your birthday, by the way. its a funny thing that comes up on your profile, when someone is not a part of your friend circle' Which is true! And I bet she has no idea. This is the approach with 'playing' and a bit of teasing.

C) No contact. But showing her that I finally moved on. That I have my value. But she probably doesn't remember me already and I bet she won't contact me ever again on her own. Most boring solution.

D) Other - comment please.

I knew her for 5 months. We never had a fight. At the end I sent her a message about sexual experiences, she wasn't interested much in responding. Left my last message on 'read'. 3 weeks later (no contact) she deleted me from the friends list. I subconciously knew that it could happen and when the day came, I texted her, she said that our goals were too different and she doesn't see a point in continuing.

Yes, I fell in love with her. We shared a lot of messages, many conversations with a sexual overtone. Met only 3 times. It was me chasing her, she turned down A LOT of propositions. My heart hurt with every rejection, also with a final one. Physical touch was hard with her. She said that she just is that way, but she also had some other guys around.

Everything would be fine, if I felt some attraction from her. But that was not the way it was. It was a crooked game I was playing, not sure if I really ever had a shot. Or did I have one and just missed.

3 weeks passed since the last contact. I can't stop thinking about her. Her birthday is coming up (of course I remember, I remember everything about her), and I keep overthinking of what should I do:
A) Send her a nice, very personalised and heart-warming wishes. Like many times I was the 'nice guy' with her. But that didn't lead me very far didn't it? Other than statements like 'Its really nice by you to say that'. Well in my heart I am that guy. And I really would love to do that and be somehow appreciated. But I also know the game.

B) Just a simple text 'enjoy your birthday, by the way. its a funny thing that comes up on your profile, when someone is not a part of your friend circle' Which is true! And I bet she has no idea. This is the approach with 'playing' and a bit of teasing.

C) No contact. But showing her that I finally moved on. That I have my value. But she probably doesn't remember me already and I bet she won't contact me ever again on her own. Most boring solution. No fun.

D) Other - comment please.

In relation to something like online dating or some other scenario where the potential for dating is known, I always start my conversations with non-sexual or non-attraction stuff.

What kind of music do you listen to?
What are your favorite shows?
Tell me about your dog.

I figure the intent is to show up front that I'm interested more in her and not just her body.

But I get the feeling sometimes like girls think I'm somewhat uninterested or not sexually attracted to them. In the case of online dating, I wonder if they're expecting me to head in the attraction direction right away. But I always figure the attraction is assumed when I picked her. But perhaps they don't see it that way, and maybe a bit of flattery right off the bat makes a better impression. Or maybe it sounds like I'm tiptoeing around my intentions rather than being up-front.

What are your thoughts? Would you prefer to get the conversation started with being up-front about attraction and intentions, or do you prefer to wait until things progress a bit more?