Should I wish her happy birthday, even tho she isn't interested in keeping in touch with me?

[FreeMan2]

I knew her for 5 months. We never had a fight. At the end I sent her a message about sexual experiences, she wasn't interested much in responding. Left my last message on 'read'. 3 weeks later (no contact) she deleted me from the friends list. I subconciously knew that it could happen and when the day came, I texted her, she said that our goals were too different and she doesn't see a point in continuing.

Yes, I fell in love with her. We shared a lot of messages, many conversations with a sexual overtone. Met only 3 times. It was me chasing her, she turned down A LOT of propositions. My heart hurt with every rejection, also with a final one. Physical touch was hard with her. She said that she just is that way, but she also had some other guys around.

Everything would be fine, if I felt some attraction from her. But that was not the way it was. It was a crooked game I was playing, not sure if I really ever had a shot. Or did I have one and just missed.

3 weeks passed since the last contact. I can't stop thinking about her. Her birthday is coming up (of course I remember, I remember everything about her), and I keep overthinking of what should I do:
A) Send her a nice, very personalised and heart-warming wishes. Like many times I was the 'nice guy' with her. But that didn't lead me very far didn't it? Other than statements like 'Its really nice by you to say that'. Well in my heart I am that guy. And I really would love to do that and be somehow appreciated. But I also know the game.

B) Just a simple text 'enjoy your birthday, by the way. its a funny thing that comes up on your profile, when someone is not a part of your friend circle' Which is true! And I bet she has no idea. This is the approach with 'playing' and a bit of teasing.

C) No contact. But showing her that I finally moved on. That I have my value. But she probably doesn't remember me already and I bet she won't contact me ever again on her own. Most boring solution.

D) Other - comment please.

Polite, deep, personalised wishes

Short 'enjoy your birthday' + teasing addition

No contact

Other

[Nomina]

I've been in a similar situation. Don't contact her. It doesn't have to be the fun option, but it's the one that's best for you.

Yes, indeed. Move on with your life. Wish her a happy birthday in your head but veer that head away from her.

[FreeMan2]

This is also a helpful opinion. And I can see why it might be the best solution, its very clear. But by choosing that, by being 'the boring solution' as I stated, it lacks that self-agency. That me, as a guy, will have to live through that moment alone, without any action that I would take which would make some influence - this is the hardest part.

[Nomina]

I fail to see how this is a lack of action. It is action, just not in that direction.
It has nothing to do with being a guy. Sometimes in life, you take the loss and move on somewhere else.

[WhitneySnow]

She’s just not into you. Wish her happy bday but don’t expect her to date you cause of it.

[FreeMan2]

I won't even meet her again. I know that. But her bday was a running theme in some things I said. I have to make a decision on how to act when the moment comes. And there are different possible approaches on this. Thats what the question is about. Its all in my head, but I want to make it as much interesting as possible. For both.

[WhitneySnow]

You’re not gonna get her no matter what you do. Sorry.

[WhitneySnow]

She’s just not into you. But it would be a nice thing to wish her Happy Bday.

[FreeMan2]

You sound like a bot. Not sure if you even read the reply.

[WhitneySnow]

I did read the reply. And it sounds like you’re still intent on trying to get her to like you that way by charming her with an amazing birthday greeting. And I’m just warning you it’s probably not gonna work.

[FreeMan2]

It won't. Then why did you mention twice, that I should wish her happy bd anyway? Meaning bringing up my person in her life again by this act.

[WhitneySnow]

Because it would be a nice thing to do. A gesture of friendship. I think a warm heartfelt Happy Bday would be best for that.

[FreeMan2]

Hmm, you might be right in some way. Like with a simple Happy Bday I'd be putting myself above the silly act of waiting for 3 weeks to click 'delete' on a person, on me.
You see, there are always two differents possible reactions. In this one, I either 'play the game' which means no contact, or option B). Or being genuine with the real feelings - either option A) or a simple text which you suggest.
This double-sided nature of social reactions, especially when it comes to dating is something that keeps bothering me, as at times its really hard to judge on which outcome is the best one. All of them have their up and down-sides.

[WhitneySnow]

Just be honest and sincere with her. She’ll appreciate the effort and even if she doesn’t like you that way she could become a good friend.

[Truthatanycost]

This is only true due to his current needy mindset and simping. If he stopped that she may have been interested. Ironically, him wanting to wish her Happy Birthday would ensure she never contacts him again.

[FreeMan2]

@Truthatanycost 2 days passed since I posted that question. I decided already that I will not contact her. It obviously is the best option. But Im emotionally engaged which distracts me from logical thinking. I turned down girls and ended some acquaintances before, but in my mind this one was different, perfect etc. (that oneitis syndrome).
She will not contact me anyway. I made many needy and simpy actions before. The moment when she deleted me and I texted her with a friendly goodbye conversation was the end and thats it.
Hypothetically, if she contacted me in near future, I probably would fuck things up quickly. Right now Im in the process of getting my mind straight. Contacting me on her part would be pointless, as she didn't like me now, she didn't want to fuck me. Attraction is non-negotiable. So this won't change in future. And sure as hell I couldnt ever be only her online-friend.
If I wasn't that needy and simpy before, the relationship wouldn't progress to this point, it would have ended much quicker.
Her bd is in a week, and I will be thinking about her on that day. I will wish her happy bday in my head, but thats it. The last day when I could make some contact in a reasonable way. Which would be a bad decision.

[DaveJord]

Been there done that, with what I thought was good intentions... it back fired. No contact is better.

[joeldalton]

No contact. Don't be a bitch.

[FreeMan2]

Thumbs up for this guy. Setting things straight.

[TroyDT2]

No. It is pointless and just keeps you looking back.

[FreeMan2]

Yes, its pointless in the long run. But in the short-term, this is what is keeping my mind busy at the moment. Out of all real-life problems, this is the one that I think about when falling asleep, which is quite comfortable situation to be in, as its all made up by me. Not the real shit that I have to deal with. In some way its about seeking that thrill. This particular relationship and situation is not about being meaningful. Im still not decided on the act I should take. But if I choose no contact and stay with that, I bet I will feel satisfied. Its just a date in the calendar that I am currently fixated on.
Its all about my world, my thoughts and feelings. That I have to deal with myself.

[KrakenAttackin]

No bro, some other guy is giving her a "happy birthday" balls-deep creampie. Forget her.