Search Results: grieving

My family called her cold hearted and selfish woman that didn’t give a rats ass about me for a decade. She abandoned be when I was 7 in a half and left my dad to raise me alone. My late dad even called my mom a bitch right in front of me and didn’t care. He said I’m old enough and he can say those words around me since I’m an adult. I had just turned 18 at the time. My best friends called my mother a selfish, cold blooded bitch for abandoning my dad and why am I grieving over a woman that didn’t want me. She didn’t deserve empathy.
I screamed at them but they told me it was the truth and I refused to accept it. My mom didn’t just leave. She wrote us letters and sent us post cards. She responded to me once in a while and never thanked me for the Mother’s Day of birthday gifts I sent her and people told me to stop sending them and she doesn’t deserve them. My dad told me to stop calling my mother a good mom and faking having a loving relationship when she is garbage. No offense but it’s the truth.
My late dad had no filter and he was BLUNT.

This year I decided to move in with my Grandma and cousins. All my cousins are the same age, we grew up together and get along well. One of my cousins has a best friend who we see regularly and I grew quite fond of him. I had pushed my feelings to the side for a while but as our conversations with each other grew more frequent, my feelings grew. So one day, I confessed and he has also admitted to liking me too for a while.

We talked/flirted heavily with each other for like the first week after we confessed. We're both hopeless romantics, both fell hard and talked about a future together. However, he wanted to tell his best friend (my cousin) what was going on first before taking things further. Needless to say, things didn't go well. There's a 'rule' that my cousin's friends shouldn't go for close family and vice versa because in simple terms, it would complicate things. Also, I found out that this guy has a lot of issues in the romance dept and has led girls on in the past and his ex is kinda still in the picture (I've heard this from my cousins) there's a toxic pattern which he has never learned from apparently😭 He has told me that after talking to my cousin, he realised he wasn't ready to date despite his eagerness before. So we ended things on good terms and stopped talking. He's also not going to visit us as regularly.

Its been a week and my heart is SO heavy. I miss him so much. I grieve the future we could have had together cause I've literally never clicked with someone so fast.

I've talked to other close family about it and they think its none of my cousin's business, also dont understand why we can't figure things out together and believe my cousin is being manipulative. But my cousin would know his friend best right? There's also that bro code. I dont wanna ruin a close friendship.

But I don't know, should I text him? I miss talking to him, but it might further complicate an already fragile situation. Help?