This year I decided to move in with my Grandma and cousins. All my cousins are the same age, we grew up together and get along well. One of my cousins has a best friend who we see regularly and I grew quite fond of him. I had pushed my feelings to the side for a while but as our conversations with each other grew more frequent, my feelings grew. So one day, I confessed and he has also admitted to liking me too for a while.
We talked/flirted heavily with each other for like the first week after we confessed. We're both hopeless romantics, both fell hard and talked about a future together. However, he wanted to tell his best friend (my cousin) what was going on first before taking things further. Needless to say, things didn't go well. There's a 'rule' that my cousin's friends shouldn't go for close family and vice versa because in simple terms, it would complicate things. Also, I found out that this guy has a lot of issues in the romance dept and has led girls on in the past and his ex is kinda still in the picture (I've heard this from my cousins) there's a toxic pattern which he has never learned from apparently😠He has told me that after talking to my cousin, he realised he wasn't ready to date despite his eagerness before. So we ended things on good terms and stopped talking. He's also not going to visit us as regularly.
Its been a week and my heart is SO heavy. I miss him so much. I grieve the future we could have had together cause I've literally never clicked with someone so fast.
I've talked to other close family about it and they think its none of my cousin's business, also dont understand why we can't figure things out together and believe my cousin is being manipulative. But my cousin would know his friend best right? There's also that bro code. I dont wanna ruin a close friendship.
But I don't know, should I text him? I miss talking to him, but it might further complicate an already fragile situation. Help?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
I know it’s hard but don’t text him. You are focused on a fantasy of what you want for the future rather than accepting what is actually happening in present time.
Ultimately you two can’t be together, so maybe you should come to terms with that. When you miss him, give yourself that reality check and find a distraction. All that romantic stuff didn’t last long so give it a week or so and you will be better. Maybe not 100 because you really like the guy but still better.
I also think your cousins are trying to watch out for you. On the exterior you see this guy who seems perfect but you don’t know him how your cousins do. They’ve seen all his grimy-ness, things that you’d probably be surprised to know he’s capable of, and as a result they don’t want him to do that to you. It’s a bigger picture, you just have to see it.
This makes a lot of sense... Im deciding not to message him now. I might just wait things out and whatever happens happens. But I think you're right, im definitely a daydreamer and its hard for me to see things realistically. It hurts though..🥲
My advice? Don’t wait, because what’s the point? You already know that he won’t break that agreement with your cousin, and aside from that, you must regard the facts you have. Like you know he’s a player, stringing women along since he can’t let go of his ex, and that may honestly be a big reason why your cousin doesn’t want him involved with you. Not only that, but the dude has told you himself he isn’t ready for a relationship. My guess is it’s because of his ex (whom he’s still involved with), and him wanting to leave the door open for her. Anyway, I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. I know exactly what it’s like to immediately click with a guy and you can’t help but imagine what life would be like with him, and really don’t want to let go of that. But keep in mind this is an image of him you’ve created, not the real him. I know dating and meeting guys can seem bleak and hopeless but you’ll find the right one.
He was so clear in communicating to me about his ex though. He told me that even though that was his first love and he'd always love her, he can't go back there and this is the longest they've been broken up. No longer involved romantically but he still talks to her.. though I can't really say much I dont know their situation fully. I can't say anything about the other girls though because I've only heard about it from his past, and not from him. Deep down I know it wouldn't work out but it really did feel so different with him.. Thank you for replying
Yeah lol he's toxic sounds like a great idea to text him
💀😠I dont know him that well. he seems so different to me. Maybe im the type to not play things by ear and find things out for myself. Which may or may not lead to hurting myself even more lol
Well, considering your cousin is his friend, I highly doubt he's just saying these things. I wouldn't paint my friends as a bad picture if it wasn't true.
Oh yeah that bro code stuff is dogshit no one does that
Pink anon opinion is way better than mine (I'm an illiterate retard)