What's your opinion on FWB?

Question

How do you feel about  friends with benefits  (friends with benefits)? Experiences? Comment!

I know girls who like  friends with benefits  relationships, and I know some (like myself) who would rather either have a one-night stand or be completely monogamous. 

But it seems like the majority of men I know enjoy  friends with benefits  and don't have a problem with it; while the girls I know are split down the middle.

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Here's my problem and why I'm asking: Last night me and a guy I have a crush on were texting. We talk ALL the time but he lives far away and we haven't done much more than cuddle and a peck. He told me he prefers  friends with benefits  relationships, and when I said I don't he seemed upset. Basically he was saying that my opinion was wrong (idk how a personal opinion/preference can be wrong) and that everyone should be okay with them. But I can't wrap my head around it, considering I've only ever felt used in  friends with benefits . Can I get your opinions?

kaeches · Accepted Answer

I REALLY liked my  friends with benefits  situation. It started out so well. We lived in different towns over the summer so we kept in touch. We sexted every day, sent sexy snapchats. But we also actually talked (the friendship part of the whole situation) about real things too. Eventually, he started liking me and I was taken a bit aback. I didn't mean to reject him, but he could tell I didn't want to be in a relationship so he backed away. When we got back to school we hooked up a few more times and I started liking him - when I could be around him again and understand our chemistry. And it really all went to hell. He wasn't sure we could date because of my difficulty with my fear of commitment and he got distant. He started dating someone, so we didn't hookup - but then we did. I didn't know he was dating anyone because I was under the impression that he was too busy to date this semester. I told the girl we had sex, she dumped him, he came to me to talk about his breakup and we've been on an emotional rollercoaster ever since. We recently hooked up and then he got distant again. I texted him just last night to say I'm not going to hookup with him again because I'm still hurt from the lying. using, and embarrassing. So I REALLY did like the  friends with benefits , but oh boy has this been a disappointing adventure. It's at the point that even the times that he made me really happy are just really sad memories now because of all the crap that's happened. And I'm mostly sad that I have neither a friend nor benefits now.

LuvMyHubby · Accepted Answer

What matters is how YOU feel, and whether he respects your feelings. If he does not, then move on. I personally become attached to a man after sex. I cannot handle casual relationships. It sounds like you feel that way too. Women are hard wired to feel attached to the man who just potentially fathered her child, because in cave man days his protection would be critical to the survival of your infant. Men on the other hand are hard wired to spread their seed. They can be deeply touched emotionally through sex, but sex itself is not a pathway to attachment for men. Therefore women are often emotionally devastated by  friends with benefits , whereas men can have casual  friends with benefits  relationships and not feel the need for a committed, long term relationship with a lover. It is how we are wired. And that doesn't make men bad. They just cannot fathom how attached some women can become through one act of intercourse. Be careful. You know yourself. You know you would feel used. And this guy is already disrespecting your opinions. You don't need disrespect.

NeenerNeenerNeener · Accepted Answer

be wary that friends with bennefits just want you around for the good time. I have always felt used. One time Turns out the guy had a girlfriend and i wanted things to get more serious and he was already wrapped up in a ton of drama. You should look into polyamory. It is the adult version of friends with benefits which includes full disclosure, trust, and respect.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory
I have a lot of friends that go that way. You just have to let go of all of your selfish insecurities and want true happiness for your lover. No one is being led on and no one has to feel guilty for flirting with someone else. You can even take it to the next level if you choose to and as long as your lover is under the understanding that you can if you want to. Turns out, if you aren't going to get in trouble, there is way less "temptation" factor.
You might want to start thinking outside the box? and what are you worried about this one guy's opinion anyways? Who cares? Do what makes you happy.

ObviouslyBored · Accepted Answer

Eh.. hate it, but only because people don't do it right. If i were to start a friends with benefits relationship I'm only calling him when I want so dick. We're not going to the mall having phone conversations, or chatting over coffee. He needs some, so do I other than that don't call me.

Too often people try and be actual friends and one person gets attached and the other is weirded out and has to cut it off. It really isn't worth the heart ache. Buy a dildo, or a fleshlight.

kambo_trick3y · Accepted Answer

MY opinion?

Not a fan of it.

It's two people agreeing to callously use each other, and do something as intimate as taking off the clothes, being INSIDE one another, and treating it like it's as normal as an everyday handshake or a hug.

I'm not religious, hell, I am as far from religious as you can possibly be. But even I think some things should be sacred. Taking off my clothes and being inside someone, to me, that isn't something I'm going to pass around like a Hallmark card.

My relationships, the things I give to people, be it sex, be it my trust, ANYTHING, it all RIDES on the levels of commitment and sacrifice people are willing to spend on me, and I with them. You can spend money, you can spend cheap ass, easy and convenient words of love, but if you can't spend your TIME and COMMITMENT, the very THINGS that TRULY matter in a relationship (platonic or romantic, doesn't matter what kind), then you ain't getting SHIT from me. Not my body, or my trust. I'm worth more than that.

serp777 · Accepted Answer

I hate it how women feel "used." It implies that their sex is somehow more important than that of the man. Sex is a mutual act. You don't have to have sex with someone (at least I would hope). So the guy was used just as much as you were and its just some ridiculous preconception that you think sex is more special for you than it is for men just because you're a woman.

But anyways the reason I prefer friends with benefits is because I don't get along with women very well while dating. So the friends with benefits keeps a certain distance between us that keeps women from knowing my true colors so to speak. Its also extremely rare that I have sex and a friends with benefits keeps that going for a while longer.

NiceGuy_20 · Answer

I highly disagree with what has been said by other people previously. It's your body and you should not have to have sex with another guy just because you are friends and he can't deal with his urges.

If you're not up for the idea of friends with benefits, then don't go for it. The fact that he only wants to be friends with benefits and does not want to consider just being friends or in a relationship, is possibly a sign that he may not be worthy of your time.

Also if you already have feelings for him, then it's a bad idea as having sex with him as it will only intensify your feelings for him. This is a known effects of friends with benefits as certain hormones are released after sex which illicite a feeling of bonding and commitment.

irthonger · Answer

I mean it would be really loanly to still be looking for a partner. But having a chance to bang it out every once in a while is a really great thing. As long as you keep your love lifes to yourselves there will be no jelousy. The only thing that would suck is when one of the fwbs finds someone and has to end that relationship. Then the other person is left out. But at least you were able to get some for the most time. Just try to be the first one in a relationship so you dont have to worry about being left out. XP

murphtheman · Answer

LOL Once again the girls are clueless about guys!! You said that you have cuddled and kissed with this guy correct? Well in his mind if both of you haven't made yourselves available for a relationship, then in his mind he was going for a  friends with benefits  friendship. Let me clarify a little, As soon as you make any kind of opening sexualy to a man, he will see this as an absolute invitation for intimacy on some level. GIRLS NEED TO LEARN THAT A MANS MIND IS GEARED TOWARD SEXUAL CONQUESTS. Don't put it out there if you don't intend on following through

Gangstarlicious · Answer

I find it disgusting and some what selfish and much more. Sex is sacred and is a intrinsic aspect of romantic relationships. The fact that society keeps reviving or creating particular ways or routes for girls and guys to intermingle without putting in suffice effort through commitment and trust shows how degrading we are becoming. Basically your crush has admitted to liking or preferring relationships that are mostly or purely based on sex as opposed to a loving romantic relationship. Just to make it clear on my side of things if any girl said that to me I personally wouldn't ever consider her a girl i could have respect for.

Anonymous · Answer

I think Friends with benefits are better than random hookups however I don't think friends with benefits are a super good thing. If you're at like college or something and you hook up with the same girl (If you're a guy) or same guy (If you're a girl) then that's not awful but I think having a legit relationship is better than just hook ups or sex because it almost always turns into more you talk with this person and do more with them than just have sex so it almost always ends in one of the two people getting hurt. So friends with benefits aren't bad but it's still not as good as a real relationship.

fallingblaze · Answer

I recently turned down a  friends with benefits  request. Everyone's different but for me it would be incredibly fulfilling. Just plain ol sex. What's sex without passion? Not to mention one of you WILL develop feelings for one another that will stir up trouble itself. It's your decision after all but it wouldn't be for m. e

Lena19 · Answer

It seems like this individual just wants to get in your pants and does not respect you. I personally do not agree with friends with benefits. If you want to have sex with someone, get a boyfriend/girlfriend. Get laid/lucky and be in a committed relationship. Win win.

bryon · Answer

That is the point of  friends with benefits  is to use a person for ( not much more than ) sex. I agree with you on the feeling minus the one night stand thing. That was never my thing to be honest. If you thoughts on  friends with benefits  upset him it seem obvious he was hoping for just that with you.

Bandit74 · Answer

if it's exclusive friends with benefits I kinda see it as a relationship without expectations. You're not planning on it lasting so when you split it won't be a huge let down or perhaps it even turns into something more in which case you'd be pleasantly surprised.

Personally I haven't had any sort of relationship but on paper the idea of fwbs sounds much more appealing and safer than a one night stand. Actually the more I think about it I actually might prefer it over a relationship.

genuinlysensitive · Answer

I agree with you  friends with benefits  usually makes me feel used and unloved, as do one night stands. I always loved being in a relationship with women, but for whatever reason, my exes didn't return the sentiment.

xXiTacoXx · Answer

Stay away from him he's no good if you're the monogamous type. plus, it only sounds like he's considering what's in his pants rather than his "friends" emotions. He's no real friend and you shouldn't talk to him if he's going to act that way.

Octavion · Answer

As long as both are aware of what the relationship is and they're both ok with it and honest I'm not against it. But I don't partake because eventually someones feelings for the other matures and then someone gets hurt.

CommieDearest · Answer

I wouldn't personally ever do it, and I think it blows up in people's faces a lot.

That being said, I don't really care what two consenting adults do all that much. It just doesn't seem like a good idea, but hey, works great for some.

Anonoutspoken · Answer

While i personally do not believe in ever having a  friends with benefits  i think it is perfectly okay and normal. In this time, sex isn't just for reproduction, it is for pleasure. If that is what you seek, i see no problem.

vjreejr · Answer

You have to be very mature to handle it and, frankly, most men aren't. Having sex is a key component to making us fall in love and that cannot really be separated.

Bellibooo · Answer

I like the idea and wish I had one, but I am too shy and I don't know any guy I would like to have that kind of relationship with (that lives in my city, at least).

Secret22 · Answer

I have never done this personally myself, but I think it could be a good idea for people to do this if both parties don't want to be tied in a relationship. Other wise, it's a bad idea.

dieselanddearhunting · Answer

He sounds like one of those people that truly believes he is the only one that knows anything and anyone that disagrees is wrong and uneducated, whether it is opinion or fact. I know a lot of people like this and need to be avoided.

Anonymous · Answer

It's a disadvantage position on girls in this kind of relationship and its like you're just playing and used and thats awful already but for some people, its their choice and would not judge for that. I had friend who's into this kind of relationship and she's happy so I'm happy for her too.

KleinTeef · Answer

I've never had one, so I don't think I have the power to judge.  I don't think I would ever one though.

posted · Answer

Seems retarded in my opinion. Also eah if you have a crush on that guy you have bad taste apparently lol, he just wants to fuck you and dump you.

Anonymous · Answer

I'd think that friends with benefits would get messy real quick. Whether it being gaining feelings for the other party, gaining feelings for someone else, or if someone loses interest in the operation.

Anonymous · Answer

It's only natural if you have female friends to want to fuck them deep down, so I think if a woman truly accepts a man as a friend she should give up the pussy at least occasionally. It's only fair.

Rogue2 · Answer

No. I was nearly involved in one last year. She seemed to have wanted that type of a relationship, and I wanted an actual dating relationship. Needless to say, it didn't pan out.

Love_People_olivia · Answer

I love it until one of us start liking each other..

Klaatu51 · Answer

if someone enjoys having sex with a  friends with benefits , it's no prob for me

MaisGem21 · Answer

I say it's only for those who are not looking anything serious. No strings attached.

VeryBiFun · Answer

I am a huge  friends with benefits  fan and have many! I have 3 now and I can't get enough.

This_guy_here · Answer

I like the idea but unfortunately it has never worked for me. It has never worked in the sense that the girls have backed off, a couple did right in the bedroom the first time we were going for it.

dudeman · Answer

I wouldn't get involved with a girl who had  friends with benefits  or ons.

I_M_LEGEND · Answer

the closest thing to this I've ever had was this girl that would enjoy me playing with her tits... i also use to train her at the gym lol

R3d_Anonymous · Answer

I like the idea of it, but I feel like I'd get attached, so not for me.

VioletCouple · Answer

Men cannot just be your friend unless they masturbate all the time or are getting sex from somewhere else.

ThatGuy98 · Answer

I would never have sex outside of marriage so I guess that answers it^^

Anonymous · Answer

I personally take sex serious and will not be intimate with anyone unless I had some type of feelings for them

Words_and_Wisdom · Answer

I would prefer a  friends with benefits  relationship over a strictly monogamous relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

I think every woman should have one and every man should be thankful if they are chosen

Radon · Answer

He wants to have sex selfishly.

Anonymous · Answer

I have lots of female friends with lots of benefits so I'm good thanks.

smexiliciousss · Answer

Someone always catches feelings :(

ThatBritishLad · Answer

I think it's a tad bit peculiar, always have.

COCOCHANEL · Answer

i don't subscribe

sammy_31 · Answer

Definitely dislike.

tenofthepeaks · Answer

why not? nothing wrong with sex without meaning.

TheGuyFromMiddleEast · Answer

If only i had one.

GoldCobra · Answer

I think it's great.

TheSpartan · Answer

It sounds awesome.

blackeagle007 · Answer

Women are shallow

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