What do you think about BPD?

[biabyblue9]

[Anonymous]

I probably have a mild to moderate version, but it's not really an issue except during a break up where someone I'm genuinely attached to is leaving me when I haven't had time to mentally prepare. I'm only really attached to two people that could set it off, and both are long term relationships, so I'm good.

In the past, it's literally cause very scary breakdowns. Like psychotic breaks. There's nothing the person with the condition can do about it when it's happening. The pain and reaction are overwhelming and out of control. It's a scary condition both for the people with it and the people there when the person breaks down. People could get hurt.

From what I've read, some people have it far worse where anyone at all potentially leaving sets them off. I would be off the deep end if it were that bad. I would just commit myself at that point. I've read stories where even the thought of their therapist abandoning them makes them lose it. I think anyone interacting with them needs to tread very carefully and mind their words and actions. They need stability, care, and commitment in the people around them for the best outcome.

[RavVid]

That is useful to know thank you

[RavVid]

I certainly want to stay away from bipolar people of either gender since I went on one's hit list. BPD is different of course and has been described as failed narcissists because it is just the reaction to negative feedback that is different.

I am concerned with the spread of narcissism which seems to be due to social media. A lot of likes can't fail to bring out the narcissism

[biabyblue9]

I didn't quite get what you're trying to say...

[RavVid]

Oh OK. Of mental illnesses I am more worried about bipolar people because a bipolar guy invited a friend to breakfast at a cafe and started stabbing him before the coffee was even served! I was also on the list in the bipolar guys breast pocket. :)

Narcissism is documented as increasing and it seems to correlate with social media. Get liked a thousand times and you probably do start thinking you are a superior person.

If BPD is failed narcissism than I guess we can expect that to increase also. But it seems a BPD person might react to negative feed more adversely. A narcissist would be more like I'm so superior and your so inferior you wouldn't know any better.

A BPD might get violent - thinking Amber Heard and JDepp's finger. I don't really know much about BPD other than a little reading during that court case.

[biabyblue9]

What... Damn...

[wolfcat87]

That's an inaccurate description of what BPD is. It's a fear of abandonment.

[RavVid]

@wolfcat87 Psychology is not my day job but in my cursory AH reading I got the understanding abandonment is the reaction to a failed strategy that's not working and that is what the paper was arguing. I'm not going to argue anything because clearly I know little.

Plus I am gun shy after a person I thought pleasant but highly controlled and unemotional went into a stabbing frenzy. I was only #10 on the list but I was still on the list and lived opposite him.

[wolfcat87]

Causes - "being a victim of emotional, physical or sexual abuse. being exposed to long-term fear or distress as a child. being neglected by 1 or both parents. growing up with another family member who had a serious mental health condition, such as bipolar disorder or a drink or drug misuse problem."
www.nhs.uk/.../

Researchers aren’t sure what causes borderline personality disorder, but studies suggest that genetic, environmental, and social factors may increase the risk of developing it. These factors may include:

Family history: People who have a close family member (such as a parent or sibling) with the illness may be at a higher risk of developing borderline personality disorder.
Brain structure and function: Research shows that people with borderline personality disorder may have structural and functional changes in the brain, especially in the areas that control impulses and emotion regulation. However, the studies do not demonstrate whether these changes were risk factors for the illness or if such changes were caused by the disorder.
"Environmental, cultural, and social factors: Many people with borderline personality disorder report experiencing traumatic life events, such as abuse, abandonment, or hardship during childhood. Others may have been exposed to unstable, invalidating relationships or conflicts."
www.nimh.nih.gov/.../borderline-personality-disorder

[wolfcat87]

In my case it was years of being beaten by both parents until I was covered from head to toe with welts and bruises and was bleeding. My mom would plan out ways to make it hurt more each time and laugh while she did it. Rejection and abandonment by both parents. Starvation by my mother. Etc. Narcissism is a hurt ego, BPD is complete failure of family to allow kids to feel safe, secure, and loved until they have to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with the pain of that situation. While healthy children don't have to develop these mechanisms because they have family support.

There are no key symptoms of narcissism in BPD.

"NPD is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, whereas an unstable self-image and fluctuating sense of self-worth mark BPD."

www.grouporttherapy.com/blog/narcissist-vs-bpd

[biabyblue9]

Thank you wolfcat87!!!

[bededazzle]

@wolfcat87 first off all, i’m terribly sorry for your childhood experiences. christ. i just wanted to say that my impression is that people may think this about npd and bpd because of the phenomenon of their strong attraction to each other at times, and the kind of dance they do. to me bpd was very relatable, and i was struck by the truth i read of “bpd traits are human traits”. i guess fundamentally the same could be said about all mental illness, but still… in my relationship with a bpd woman i thought i had bpd myself, but no, just my same old problems :).

[bededazzle]

there is a correlation of bpd with violence, but if you have bpd yourself, there’s nothing to worry about. actually the main concern would be a person harming themselves. there’s also a correlation between depression and school shootings. i have depression. should i be worried?

[RavVid]

@wolfcat87 Wow. Hard to see how parents could do that. I would like to be able to say something but this a situation when words can only be empty. Nothing is adequate.

[bededazzle]

i dated a woman with bpd. it taught me a lot about myself. it seemed like a very difficult issue to deal with. it’s interesting that it’s mainly women who are diagnosed. the relationship was intense.

[RavVid]

Had a thought. As the saying goes a man is what he does and a woman is what she says she is and often that is nebulous. That possibly makes women more vulnerable to contrary evidence, Maybe to depression too. A paper I read said BPD was failed narcissist with a strategy which didn't work

If we do amateur cabinetry it is undeniable even if done badly. I have no shame over the drawer I made with a staple gun without a dovetail joint in sight. It is still a functional drawer.

Being creative, which a lot of women bill themselves as, is a more nebulous faliable task with perhaps more of a gulf between self-perception and reality.

I am thinking I should be kinder to my housemate when she wants me to admire something she has done :)

[bededazzle]

@RavVid it’sa very interesting thought. i think it also be related to having strong intuition, reading emotions well, having a good memory, as well as other related traits. it is said that those with bpd basically see things that aren’t there—over inflating a shred of truth. but for me, the woman i dated shocked and scared me, because she very quickly and intuitively saw the deepest darkest things that were insanely real. i could go on. but yes, everything about what was extraordinary about her (in the old sense of the word) was 100% female ability

[RavVid]

"very quickly and intuitively saw the deepest darkest things". That is pretty scary

I had some dark deep thoughts tonight. about my neighbor whilst she was crawling on the floor playing on the floor with her cat. Just as well my (female) house mate was there because
1. I might have done something very bad
2. Neighbor might not have felt so unconstrained in how she crawled on the floor.

It is not a perfect world..

[bededazzle]

@RavVid maybe we both have complexes about witchy women. i know i do lol

[RavVid]

There is an attraction there. :)

[NathanDavis]

something that definitely has to be seen with a set of professionals

[ThrillSeeker01]

I feel bad because I know it might be tough.

[Anonymous]

It’s hard to deal with

[Anonymous]

What is it

[biabyblue9]

It's a mental disorder
BPD stands for borderline personality disorder.
They don't have control of anything basically (?) And they're afraid of loneliness. And more stuff, you can get more info, look it up ☺️

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sorry to hear that

[biabyblue9]

Don't worry, it's okay I guess, just need a psychiatrist

[Opinion Owner]

You’ll be OK fight hard to overcome it