Is there a way to recover from being too available with a guy?

[littlegirl]

I have discovered the hard way, that I have made myself too available for a guy that I really like and want to get to know. We have known each other for several months and he is getting over an X. During this time, he was showing a lot of interest in me (phone calls and texts msgs, which he almost always initiated) and asking me to go on walks or coffee, but I never said no. And he ended up canceling most meetings - until Dec. We finally met for coffee and had a nice time. Then he hung out w/me on NYE and the day after. I think I have a hard time doing the slow route and being evasive (I was married/together w/my X for 15 years, so a little rusty in the dating world) - we tried the friend route recently, but he kept texting me, and asking what I was up to or how my day was. We met in person to return a movie and he said maybe we could do coffee; I never said I had plans and the coffee mtg never materialized. I invited him to go bowling w/a bunch of friends (he doesn't care for) and he said no. He said to call him if I didn't go. I decided I wasn't going to go bowling or call him. Later that evening, he text to see what I was doing. I was at home watching a movie, then he wanted to know if I was alone. Which I told him I wasn't and I told him I was bored. I said I was going to go out by myself (I was being kinda bratty, which I apologized the next morning) I don't know if he was testing me, but I haven't heard from him for 4 days. Anyway, I've been told by friends not to contact him (which I haven't), but I'm just wondering if there is a way to undo the damage I might have done?

Updates

+1 y

Over the last couple months, he has told me I'm amazing, good listener, sexy, gorgeous and that he like's me. We haven't had sex, but foreplay and said I gave him the best bj ever! I was afraid to do anything more, because he was still in contact w/X.

[awaken03]

the best thing to do is to get to know him more you need to focus on building trust with him. as for the sex part BJ is still sex to me..but don't go doing it just because of the spur of the moment..he should value you as well and respect you too..i kinda asked myself why he doesn't give a chance hanging with your friends and get to know them..im not saying there is something fishy about it because most decent guys won't pass the oppurtunity of knowing the people around you..his probably trying to spend with you alone which is good but jumping on him for just sex won't do you good either just value yourself and make contact from time to time..regarding his EX let him open up to you just be ready if he doesn't want to commit, I just don't want to see you as a spare tire for him..good luck

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like you were being too available. Maybe he just canceled sometimes cause he was busy. Having coffee, isn't considered a date. Dating someone is something where you spend more time together if you like each other. Going to the movies, restaurant, trip. Sounds like he's into you, but just pulling away cause your pulling away. Go with the flow, and let it develop.

[littlegirl]

I realize coffee meetings are not dates - I have asked questions before and categorized it as behavior but GAG's change my category to dating - so I decided to put this one in dating. Thank you for your answer. I agree, I need to go w/the flow more :)

[Anonymous]

Once you're on offer you're trapped in that cycle