Hi guys. I recently had a breakup and just want to get your perspective on some behavior.
So I'm usually a very fun, bright person, & have had good relationships in the past, but this one broke me and was very perplexing.
When we started dating he went out of his way. He planned museums, diners, hikes etc. I was just getting to know him so was enjoying it & taking my time.
Then covid hit, and things got harder. I'd text him & he'd always be busy on his projects, which is fine. But everything was just kind of about them and he didn't arrange us to meet much or anything. He said he was happy though.
Sometimes he wouldn't reply back to texts at night bc he was doing his projects & I brought it up once. He was a bad texter and said he didn't notice. Once he took 30 hrs to reply though bc he was busy & it made me sad.
When we started meeting again, I would always offer fun things to do in summer but the guy was always either too busy or didn't seem excited/get the hint. I offered a few times to go to the lake, concerts, but he didn't really arrange for us to do anything in the next 8 months (besides coffee/dinner a few times). Still said he was happy tho!
I started to have some problems in my family (fighting, abuse) and felt very lonely. When I'd see him in person, I'd be miserable. He just didn't get the hint, & would just give me a platonic hug then leave. I started to get really sad, I would call him about fighting at my house, and he just didn't "get it" or didn't know what to do. I was clearly upset and he never checked in, etc. We'd sometime sit in the car in silence & I'd cry.
As for physically & emotionally, when we'd hang out he never physically touched me, never complimented me, I was just kinda there? He insisted he liked me, and would always walk me to my car & kiss me once goodnight. I still felt alone.
So basically I'm wondering if this is normal behavior for a guy. Is he just kind of unaware? Or was I just too shy (hard for me to talk!).
So I'm usually a very fun, bright person, & have had good relationships in the past, but this one broke me and was very perplexing.
When we started dating he went out of his way. He planned museums, diners, hikes etc. I was just getting to know him so was enjoying it & taking my time.
Then covid hit, and things got harder. I'd text him & he'd always be busy on his projects, which is fine. But everything was just kind of about them and he didn't arrange us to meet much or anything. He said he was happy though.
Sometimes he wouldn't reply back to texts at night bc he was doing his projects & I brought it up once. He was a bad texter and said he didn't notice. Once he took 30 hrs to reply though bc he was busy & it made me sad.
When we started meeting again, I would always offer fun things to do in summer but the guy was always either too busy or didn't seem excited/get the hint. I offered a few times to go to the lake, concerts, but he didn't really arrange for us to do anything in the next 8 months (besides coffee/dinner a few times). Still said he was happy tho!
I started to have some problems in my family (fighting, abuse) and felt very lonely. When I'd see him in person, I'd be miserable. He just didn't get the hint, & would just give me a platonic hug then leave. I started to get really sad, I would call him about fighting at my house, and he just didn't "get it" or didn't know what to do. I was clearly upset and he never checked in, etc. We'd sometime sit in the car in silence & I'd cry.
As for physically & emotionally, when we'd hang out he never physically touched me, never complimented me, I was just kinda there? He insisted he liked me, and would always walk me to my car & kiss me once goodnight. I still felt alone.
So basically I'm wondering if this is normal behavior for a guy. Is he just kind of unaware? Or was I just too shy (hard for me to talk!).
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