Why are some guys emotionally unavailable?

[Anonymous]

[Finchie40]

Mainly because most females’ are turned off by it and assume he is a weak man if he expresses his emotions way to much , most females’ get turned off if her man is crying or acting like a wimp , most of his male friends’ will bust his balls if he is crying over petty things and make fun of him for doing so. Most of us men hold so much shit in that we learned to just bury it inside of ourselves as much as possible , to not let it bother us , but sadly after time goes on , and we hold in so much shit , we might eventually snap and lose our shit. Most men do not get praised and complimented like females’ do , Most of us weren’t handed things and were taught we have to work to succeed in life and to meet a girl to fall in love and protect and provide for her and to not depend on anyone else but yourself. Some of us grew up with fucked up families that always fought and argued over things , Having fathers’ that called is a piece of shit if we didn't measure up to what he wants us to be , Most of us men grew up being independent and fending for ourselves Not every guy was raised with a silver spoon in his hand, I became a full time worker at the age of 11 , delivering newspapers before going to school , all my father wanted for my brothers’ and I to do was to work and to make our own money , if we didn’t work , we were piece of shit losers So most of us men learned to be independent . We were taught not to be a wimp and taught to not take shit from anyone. No one will save you , you have to save yourself. Most females’ on the other hand got praised and treated like a princess from her parents’ taught she does no wrong , she was always taught she deserves to be treated like a princess , Don’t marry a guy that doesn’t have his shit together. Only fall in love with a man that provides for you and protects you , and makes damn good money and has a successful career , if she chose not to listen to her parents’ her parents’ will be upset with her and criticize her and belittle her for her decision. But if she listened to her parents’ she was praised and she does no wrong. So when a man is emotionally unavailable he is just pretty much through dealing with everyone else’s’ shit he has his own shit to worry about

[thatgirl2000]

It's unfortunate you never had anyone to listen to your plight. It sounds like you have a lot of unresolved issues, athough taking responsibility for your own emotions would be a good start. Also which females are you referring to? it's more of an adjective. women or girls would be the better replacement if you're talking about human females.

[Finchie40]

I am speaking of females’ that were raised to believe they do no wrong , basically high maintenance females’ that were praised no matter what she did , she was born with a silver spoon in her hand. She barely had to lift a finger , how dare she break a nail. Being beautiful is all she had to worry about and getting her way. She believes her own lies and makes herself this good girl when really she is a bad girl that doesn’t take accountability for her own selfish actions

[Woody7793]

Pretty much right on. Girls, regardless of what they say, are repulsed by the stench of insecurity that comes with being “emotionally available “. Women are hard wired by evolution to find a man that can supply resources, good genetics and protection. Those traits insure the survival of the species. Like it or not, that’s just the way it is.

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

Because their afraid of thier own lack of self decipline in regards to being manipulated by women.

Takes a lot to be emotionaly open, relaxed and trusting. But balance it with being aware when women are manipulating and weponosing your weaknesses. Then being strong enough to act on it, dynamic enough to pull back when needed and step back willingly into the dark, lonelyness and isolation that you must befriend as a man,

In truth this place is a place of solice and reflection, it is your friend and should be welcomed.

But if you lack a loving family, mother, father, siblings, it is very isolated.

So men who haven't learned and acquainted them selfs with the darkness, are afraid of it... Rightly so, it's horrible and enduring.

So will either cling to women, being used and sacrifice thier masculine just to not be forced into to the cold.

Or as they are learning, the first knee jerk reaction is to close off completely, as they are not sure of the rules, and still fear the isolation.

Only when you do not fear isolation, and you know the female creature for what it is, and respect yourself, have bounderies and know what to look for, can you be emotionaly open, while maintaining your frame and integrity.

The truth will set you free, don't be afraid of it, whatever the outcome.

[thatgirl2000]

You're afraid of opening up because women might try and manipulate you and use you? was that how your parent's relationship was?

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

@thatgirl2000 I'm not afraid of opening up now, at all, but if things aren't right, I now have the emotional maturity to deal with it accordingly.

Yeah my mother is the embodiment of "rita repulsa" from OG power rangers 🤣... But yeah, whole side of my mother's family is a den of vampires. Only knew my father from age of 20. We are good now, but his wife is also a narcissist (I think he knows, but that's his deal)

But yeah took me a long time to get oriented with reality after a whole childhood of manipulation and one sided parenting.

My ex / my daughters mother, is also a raging narcissist, I had a step son and daughter with her, they both go to the same school, I now only have contact with my daughter, of which it took me 3 years of family court and false allegations to obtain an order, other wise I would not have seen her either.

Everything is settled now and good, I have a great loving relationship with my daughter and spend decent time with her.
But the price she has had to pay is heavy, and the poor boy is even worse.

But at 34, I can say my head is straight and can see the reality of life for the first time, so at least that's sorted.

[lilcoco_]

Some grow up with the stereotype of it not being masculine to show feelings so they become disconnected with their emotions

[itsannalee]

The reason is just same with some girls who also emotionally unavailable.

[KrakenAttackin]

Not quite. Most girls lack emotional regulation.

[VIVANT]

The question is why would anybody male female who is emotionally unavailable? Seek out a relationship. it’s strange. if you want to be detached be detached. Plenty of space to be that way but bring someone else into it.

Because they aren’t emotionally unavailable, they’re just having difficulty.

People who are actually unavailable are unavailable. and you won’t know about it because they’re not making himself a pee available. the people who end up seeking relationships are getting into relationships and auto emotionally unavailable, They just learned that acting that way gives them a sense of leverage, and it usually causes relationships to implode, but in the intro it creates a feeling of power.

There is no such thing as an emotionally unavailable person in a relationship. There’s just a person who’s playing games. And that person will either decide the relationship is more important than the games or they will decide that they wanna play games until they run the relationship into the ground.

[DishLady]

Depends on the guy, tbh. Some have legit issues that drive them away from any inkling of a commitment to anyone or anything (including jobs, people, etc.). They may not appear to be socially dysfunctional, however something within them panics as soon as the prospect of attachment gets too close.

Other guys have more basic EQ issues. For whatever reason, their emotional development was cut short so they're not sure how to proceed in certain situations even if they really do like someone or something.

Yet other guys have trouble getting excited about anything in general, so there's little chance they'll get excited over a relationship. They lack direction in life, so it follows that they may be the same in other aspects of their life.

And last but not least are the players who appear to be emotionally unavailable but they're simply not into you. (Sorry to break it to you...)

[LonelyHsoul]

Because women think they want us to show our emotional side but when we show it or too much of it they don't like it.

Most men are brought up not to show too much emotions as we are led to believe that's only for women to do and men should only act tough or be manly and should t show such emotions as it's a sign of weakness and makes us look like girls which girls don't like

[AaronKrieger]

For anyone, you don't let yourself be emotionally available due several reasons:

- It's not a habit in your life, so it's not a natural instinct or it makes you uncomfortable

- You lack the confidence

- Lack of trust

- You plan on it being a short-term or casual thing, so there$@

[Gospeedracer]

Being emotionally available is leaving yourself open for attacks. Feminism has ruined any chance of developing an enriching relationship with women today. If people took their wedding vowels seriously I think men would be more emotionally available. but most men my age who have suffered from heart break 10 or more times in their life are now set in their ways unfortunately.

[Lynx122]

Probably because they were available in the past and they got hurt and they haven't fully healed from it yet. Or they haven't realized they should try and heal, they just think they're being careful and reasonable.

[thatgirl2000]

Trauma, possibly childhood trauma. Insecurities. I would avoid these men though there are plenty of emotionally evolved ones that take accountability for their lives.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Because they are stuck at The Office, proof:

[Nikki1989]

Most men are wired to struggle with expressing their feelings or may not be receptive to emotional discussions.

[Danny_dan92]

I’ve been heart broken one too many times to even give another girl my heart just for her to stomp on it.

[Summeroflove]

There is many reasons why someone may be. Maybe they have been hurt or maybe they just really aren’t attracted to anyone right now.

[ProbablyClueless]

Could be a crappy childhood. Could be bad dating experiences.

There are lots of reasons guys would be emotionally unavailable.

[Cherrylicious]

Definition of an emotionally unavailable person - someone who is not interested in you.

[KrakenAttackin]

Because they have been crushed so hard by society that they have learned to tightly suppress their emotions.

[Anonymous]

There's nothing to be gained by being emotionally available.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Same reason why some girls are emotionally unavailable

[Crazzyyworld]

Why girls are demanding? Because they are badddd hiddinggg

[SpaceGalaxy]

Recovering from a past relationship, perhaps

[Garud]

their emotional stock remains dry usually

[spartan55]

Why are some girls overly emotionally available?

[WhitneySnow]

Afraid to show their feelings

[glennos89]

Because those guys think with their dick's

[Circushowcowboy]

It could be for a variety of reasons.

[Anonymous]

I have been, and every time it back fires.

[Djaay]

I'm not emotionally available either. That said...

[In_Trance]

For the same reason some women are

[kaucky1]

They are no good

[Jmmmfi4]

We're guys