Why is it so hard for guys to be emotional?

[Anonymous]

Maybe it’s just the guys that I attract, but why is it that they’re so emotionally mature and available at the beginning of the relationship and then I move in with them and all hell breaks loose? They start acting demonic 🤣🤣 not literally.. but they just start acting like a 2 year old, the terrible twos.. all the emotional maturity and availability is GONE.. and you try to talk to them about and they just ignore you or say you’re starting shit and needa let it go. And that they’ve always been like that.. I’m like no tf you haven’t, because I wouldn’t have gotten with you if you were..

[Anonymous]

Because men aren’t women. Stop trying to make men like women. Why is it men have to be accepting of all the good or bad behavior of men but it doesn’t work the other way around. We didn’t grow up like you. We weren’t cuddled as babies when we cried, not all. Most times we were told to stop crying not only by men, but women as well. We were told boys don’t cry. The reality of it is if a lot of men were like a lot of women things would probably be worse. Men would be really feminine. Women often look to men to lead, but when he’s feminine’s even he can’t lead. Women say they want emotional men, but when you get it and he expresses his feelings of what he don’t like or like, he doesn’t like that you go out a your girls like you’re single or this or that. Not he’s controlling, misogynistic, etc. I think too men don’t have a time clock as far as having to grow up. Women on the other hand know most of them only have a certain time clock to find a man, get married and have kids. Men can get married in their 40s and still have kids. Trust me you don’t want emotional men. Eventually you’re going to get tired of having to make decisions in the relationship.

[Garud]

Everything is romantic in the beginning but later it comes and goes like waves.
Because you can't be romantic all the time. It will hamper your work life.
Or
To bring out the romance in a man, he needs positive encouragement from his woman. If the man takes the initiative all the time, makes plans, and expresses love and the other person keeps taking it, he will feel empty. It should be mutual.
Or
Even if everything is right, men take time to open up emotionally if they are not connected to a close family environment because they don't know when the other person will attack them emotionally. Because in this situation men usually get no solace and the law also doesn't help them.

I simply believe that if your love cannot cover up the other person's shortcomings or you have a lot of complaints against the other person, whether right or wrong, then you should stay alone

[_Maya_]

This sounds more like a rant and less like a real question. I have plenty of guy friends that lean on me and other girls (their girlfriends, etc) for support. Now maybe this has been your experience but I don't find it true enough to generalize about it like this. I will agree that guys are not as openly emotional but certainly not closed off completely as you seem to think. Perhaps it is the guys you are seeing but I find it hard to believe that it is all of them given my own experience. I also don't know how to address the "Then I move in with them" thing. Does that happen that much? Sounds like you move quick because most people it takes time to move in with someone. Just saying.

[Asker]

There was certainly a question in there. And a rant added, is that not allowed? I didn’t generalize it. I didn’t say “all men” I also never said they were closed off completely. Perhaps it is the guys I’m seeing, please refer back the the very first sentence of my “rant” the “then I move in with them” thing wasn’t supposed to be addressed.. it’s absolutely insane that I ask a question with a rant? And your opinion is literally just being judgmental with no actual help🤣 this is my 1st relationship out of a 8 year marriage. And I’ve been with my current boyfriend for 2 years. So no it doesn’t happen “that much”, it’s took almost a year for me to move in with my first boyfriend, and 6-8 months with my second boyfriend. Your opinion is a very b*tchy one, just saying.

[spartan55]

Oookay then... I think I see the issue here.

[_Maya_]

@spartan55 as do I

[LeatherDame]

They are taught that their feelings are inappropriate and unacceptable from a young age so struggle with being vulnerable and opening up when it’s safe to.


Lots of our men are pretty dissociated from their emotions.

[slatyb]

They have been taught that it's a sign of weakness. It's not. Real men care for others.

[beefcakebradybatson]

White men ( we black men too, but many of us have little problem showing emotion) are taught from lads to bury emotions, which is why many white men are such hollow shells.

[Anonymous]

I'm not very good with my emotions. The one time I tried talking about them, the worst happens.

[jahaims]

It's not. You are spending time with immature males or they don't trust you enough to open up. Which says a lot about you.

[Abbycado]

Because they just aren't like that.

[Anonymous]

It's not hard for me, but it doesn't help, most girls don't care about that.

[DerekC321]

It's too easy for me, TMI etc

[scott04sa22]

With don't have the minds of a woman

[Iron_Man]

It’s not hard