Why do guys hold back their emotions?

[sibelcan_a]

Say for instance they really like a girl. Why don't they tell her? What makes it so hard?

[ThePragmaticRomantic]

As a man who tries to be direct and honest in pretty much every situation, I have found that women generally do not respond well to a direct approach. It's actually been studied pretty extensivly and in general men respond well to dirrect, approaches from women, but women generally prefer a more abstract angle (hence why pickup lines were invented.. before they evolved into a weird kind of meta-humour).

When you bear that in mind, along with the weird mix of social presures on men now (they have to be sensitive but stoic, and must take great care never to imply that a woman is a sex object), and the generic fear of rejection (they also are not allowed to express this fear, fear is not manly) can you really wonder why young or inexperienced men have such difficulty?

I say 'screw social preasure' act how YOU feel you should act, and damn what anyone thinks. With that thought in mind why dont the ladies take a turn at approaching the menfolk? Studies show you'll be well recieved.

[sibelcan_a]

Fair enough.

[Anonymous]

Let me put it to you this way. When a man gets sick, his wife will say one of two things about him. Either he doesn't take his health seriously, or he whines and acts like a baby when he gets sick. No matter how much women say they want us to open up, the truth is, the moment we do, we get judged harshly for it. Eventually men learn to internalize our feelings. Our culture simply does not allow men to open up about how we feel, even if we are in physical pain. I think this is a cultural standard, because I have talked to men in other countries that say this isn't a problem for them, but they have noticed about us Americans as well.

[jeanbean]

-Society labels emotions as a feminine trait
-Being called a girl is a huge insult
-They hold back emotions to avoid being considered weak and girly.

[abigfart]

Usually I do tell them, but it's gone badly every single time out of many attempts. So I've started becoming less willing to be open. So often women see me as being too intense, indeed I am.

I think you might want men to be more open, but not more emotional regardless of what you think. You might get mad when a guy doesn't cry when he should, but if he was crying a considerable amount you'd start to lose your attraction.

[Prof_Don]

Precisely this dude speaks the truth

[ElHenaut]

Lol I guess nobody read the rest of your question they just looked at the pink words. Guys get nervous just like girls do, if they like a girl but are too nervous or scared she will say no, they won't have the guts to do it.

[Execu]

Rejection, plus people love to pussyfoot around with games and shit instead of being straightforward.
I'm sure you hold back as well, your reason is probably almost the exact same.

[Prof_Don]

Because if we are that direct with our feelings, the target girl's primal brain loses interest in him because he comes off as "low demand" and "low value".

It's something that we develop to do to avoid being doomed in the dating world.

[loveisbeautiful]

You really believe that? That if you tell a girl how you feel, she'll consider you
low value? If she did, wouldn't that make her the bad catch and not the
other way around?

[Prof_Don]

Not in the very beginning stages of the dating process!

[Kinstrome]

I guess it's the same reason girls don't just tell us they like us: it can come off as forward and desperate.

[medical2523]

Fear of rejection and embarrassment there's a girl I like right now that I still haven't asked out yet cause I'm scared she will say no

[sibelcan_a]

But isn't it better being rejected than feeling like you missed out on a good opportunity?

[Okasdin]

I think it's because many guys 1) fear rejection. That's about it

[BellendBob]

we are men

to show such weakness would end the human race

[RichardBoehner]

women make it so hard.

[chocolatedragon]

Because we don't like being seen vulnerable.

[Forca]

Because showing emotions is a massive weakness.

[BrunoG]

Fear of rejection.