Why do guys hide their feelings and emotions?

[Assassin8a]

like the question says, guys hardly ever let their emotions show, and most of the time it's like they have no feelings, is this true? Or are you scared that you'll lose your 'tough guy image', or that a girl will think less of you? I'm real curious bout this one ;P

[Philosoph]

As a man, I can think of a few reasons why men tend to conceal their feelings:
Firstly, there's the social conditioning based on evolutionary advantage: when men grow up, they're expected to serve as protectors and breadwinners, meaning that they cannot lose their composure in 'dangerous' situations. In the past, this might have meant defending a village from an aggressive tribe, or killing a large predator with calculated attacks. In both of these situations, becoming emotional (not thinking rationally) would have resulted in immediate death. Although we clearly do not face danger on a daily basis anymore, this mentality still persists, notably in a philosophy called stoicism, in which an individual endures hardship without displaying emotion and complaint. I personally believe this is the backbone of masculinity. In short, one reason that men conceal their feelings is that it was critical to the survival of the species in the past.
Besides the evolutionary advantage of men not expressing feelings, another reason men may be hesitant to express them could be from emotional manipulation by one of their former partners. For instance, a man might have confessed his deepest desires and feelings to a partner he once trusted, only for her to go on social media or to her friends and talk horribly of him behind his back, scarring him, forcing him to keep up his guard thereon for his own sake. Another example could be that his partner insulted him and made fun of his tears, or complaining, during a time of emotional vulnerability for him. In short, a man may refuse to disclose his feelings because they were (unfairly) used against him in the past by a cruel partner.
In conclusion, a man may hide his feelings because of a societal precedent built upon thousands of years of behavior that kept the human race alive, and fear of having them turned against him that might result in damage to his reputation or his core. There are certainly other reasons, but I think these two account for a lot. For all the women out there, a man indeed has emotions and feelings. He will not likely show them for the aforementioned reasons. His actions are what you should look at--these truly reflect his intentions with you and others. Do not expect him to ever open up anytime soon.

[stubbsy]

Us guys do have feelings, and a lot of them, we just feel that society has not allowed us to express them due to stereo typing. Break up with a guy and his heart breaks all the same, betray a guy and his life is filled with the same pain, etc etc, we are just expected to hide what we are going through, so don't be fooled by some guy telling you it don't matter or he don't care, its a macho image he feels he needs to maintain, something we all do, but when alone, we feel like crap, and that's when our body weeps, but no one will ever know this, because we do it alone.

[becreative3]

tough guy image is fucking superficial... be a man.

[Anonymous]

i like guys who are like that but its actually up to us girls to help them let there feelings out. We are incharge of taking care of them. That's why guys needs a girl to make him complete. Girls are designed to be sensitive in that way we would know how to take care of our man. But still girls has to learn stuff to please and make their guy happy.

[Kain6th]

Have you ever found yourself sexually attracted to a guy that shows his emotions?

[Opinion Owner]

It depends really. But most of the time I get attracted to someone expressive and shows their feelings but not the type who's too much .

[tohrment]

Because when they do, a lot of women label them as being unmanly or too much of a pansy.

They are conditioned by society to hide their emotions and be pragmatic. The protector, the provider, etc. Stupid social ideals that both men and women reinforce.

[Kain6th]

Yup, stupid, but true sadly. :-\

[tohrment]

Agreed.

[Belgie]

It's training.

From when we're children, boys are told not to reveal emotions, not to reveal when they are hurt, or sad, or scared.

As for why this is... it's passed down from father to son, because like it or not, it's a successful breeding strategy.

The young man who doesn't show that he's scared, will appear brave. The guy who appears brave, will come across as a strong and confident potential mate, which girls find attractive.

You might not like to believe this, but it's true : Girls may say that they want a guy who shows his emotions, but they are turned off by a guy who shows his emotions. They lose respect for that guy. They don't feel sexually attracted to him. They don't feel secure with him.

They can't help this. It's genetic. It's millions of years of evolution. Girls frequently don't know what they want, and this is a prime example.

If showing your emotions actually got guys laid, we'd ALL be doing it tomorrow morning.

But the fact is, showing your emotions stops you from getting laid. Or at least is a major hindrance.

Ask around on this site. I'm sure you'll find a few guys who have no problem showing their emotions to all those girls who are friends of theirs. And ask. They'll all be wondering why those girls aren't sleeping with them. Why they love them as friends, but why that never translates into actual animal attraction.

And that's the answer to your question. It's the evolutionary end result of a successful breeding strategy.

[Kain6th]

Yup this is true, I've been attempting to hide mine more because of this.

Just remember the last time a guy was like that QA. I bet you felt nothing sexually for him at all. You just felt sorry for him and that's it. We won't show our emotions unless we have no other choice. Just the way it is.

[Brando]

I could buy this answer.

[jrose]

What about after the girl sleeps with you? If she's ALREADY into you, letting her into your emotional world is actually a good way to keep getting laid. If you don't, eventually she'll get tired of the walls you put up and leave. At least I do- if a guy can't let me in once we're together I assume he's not interested in the relationship, just the sex and I get out.

[Belgie]

After you sleep with her, then obviously its different. You still don't open up completely though. You let her in gradually, and make her feel like she's uncovering things about you that you've never shared with any other girl.

It's a form of emotional manipulation, sure, but it keeps her happy and interested.

[ZeroNexus]

as a boy my father never told to man up or force me to stop showing my feelings, if I got hurt from a fall my older brother will just say a joke to make me laugh even though I can feel the pain my feelings aren't shown to people because I'm neutral, so people ( woman or girl ) will ask are u ok and I say yeah I'm good u know u can cry if u feel pain from the fall but I already said I'm good truly and they would ask me a question about my dad if he taught me to not show my feelings and I would say no? so for woman or girls who think a lot of man or boys hide their feelings we don't is just were neutral with are feeling.

[mattl338]

No, it's not because of a tough guy image. Just recently I admitted that I liked a girl and thought she liked me too but it completely went to shit and our friendship is going to be different now because of it. It happens whenever I admit how I feel. Admitting how you feel usually either ends the friendship, the friendship is much different and more distant, and etc.

[Carol70]

Omg I'm so sorry! I understand but for me I want the guy to express his feelings. For me the friendship wouldn't change. If he just wanted to be friends that's fine but if wanted more that's fine too. I also understand one reason for hiding the feelings is fear of rejection or being laughed at. I met a wonderful guy who was crazy about me. He informed me of this feelings and I had the same feelings for him. We spent 16 amazing years together and unfortunately he passed.

[deadman]

Because every time I have shown my real emotions to a girl she runs a mile... women want confident and stable men - showing emotions seems (in my experience) to ruin my chances...

[deadman]

In fact - the reason I'm in a sticky situation right now is because I tried to hold back my feelings ended up acting weird and later told the girl I loved her. Haven't seen her for 4 months...However I'm supposed to be seeing her Thursday night... wish me luck

[iXenomorph]

It's not that men hide their emotions.

It's that men don't have emotions. Well, at least I got rid of mine a long time ago.

[Danielsen45]

i think you already know the answer but yeah we got feelings too, but most of us don't like to show that we are "weak"

[Anonymous]

We're brought up in a world where males showing their emotions are looked down upon.

[Assassin8a]

WTF? looked down upon by who? males or females, and it's a friggin shame that you guys feel that way :/

[Opinion Owner]

By everyone, especially males. It's considered weird, gay etc..

Which is why I'd never around males..

[Assassin8a]

*gasps* do you ever WANT to let your emotions out?

[Opinion Owner]

Of course. It's just hard for a guy after getting close to someone to start doing that if they've been holding them in.

Well it depends who the guy hangs around. Not ALL groups look down on emotions.

[Assassin8a]

true, true. Would you feel you had to hold back with a gril? just wondering.

[Opinion Owner]

If I do it's only because I'm retarded (I have AS). Not for the reasons above.

But I know some guys would hold them back for the reasons above. Especially the really manly ones, because emotions are seen as feminine sometimes.

[Anonymous]

i don't hide my emotions? I show mine. If I like someone I tell them I don't hold it in.

[mattl338]

That tends to get a lot of guys in trouble. It ends most friendships or the friendship becomes much more distant after you admit your feelings. That's my case anyway.