I think several things need to be clarified here.
First of all, you are asking why guys don't show their emotions. Most of them do, but they don't show emotions that tend to qualify as "weakness" emotions. They'd be happy to laugh, tease, and have a good time. However, most guys will NEVER accept crying around you. As for why, read Professor Zoom's response. From what I've heard/read so far, the general consensus seems to be that girls are okay with their boyfriends' crying, so long as it is for something major (death of a family member, etc.). If they were to cry over something smaller (like a breakup, etc.), then they would be seen as wimps (not only by other males, but by females as well). Rarely do you find people that like wimpy guys. Because of this, guys tend to keep their emotions down. Some of them just keep negative emotions down, and some of them keep all of them down.
Second, in regard to your situation, "guys I have dated" does not equal "guys that love me". If you're talking about guys that you've been in a long term relationship with, then that's different. But really, if you had been seeing a guy for two weeks, would you really want him confessing his undying love for you and you only, and telling you how he could never live without you? Most girls would feel smothered, and would also feel that he's too emotional (see point 1).
Third, it's likely that he's expressing his love in a way that you don't realize. According to Steve Harvey, a man who loves his woman will follow the three P's: protect, profess, and provide. Protect is obvious, he doesn't want any harm to come to you, mentally or physically. Provide is obvious, he has to be able to support you (and, if they exist, his kids) and provide a comfortable living for you. Profess is basically staking his claim to others on you. He's willing to go out in public holding you by his side, basically making the statement to the world that "This is my woman, and she's the only one I need. I'm not with her because she's making me; I'm with her because I want to be." Most guys hate having to answer "Do you love me?" twelve times a day. Yes, we love you, stop asking.
Fourth, it's possible that you're just not dating an emotional guy. Take it from me, some people just aren't emotional in general. I can hear a funny joke without laughing, read a sad story without tearing up, and even orgasm without making a sound or a face. I'm sure part of it is that I'm not emotional in the first place, and part of it is that I've basically trained myself that way. It doesn't mean that he's incapable of having emotions, he's just not used to showing them. It isn't necessarily a conscious effort to hide them, but hiding them has become normal practice.
Fifth, it's possible that the guys you dated were just in it for sex. If that was the case, learn from it, and move on.
Try dating for 3 years!!!!
Great question... I wish I could have read it earler... But anyway I've read the other comments, and I can agree, and disagree with some of the responses. My view is coming from a shy guy, and that has been raised with a mother all his life, didn't have a dad, and I think it really boils down to the fact of how we were rasied as children.
One person said that "Guys are not made to show their emotions." And I would have to agree with that statement, because it really depends on how you've been raised. But that of course doesn't mean that you can't be molded into something else down the line. Life can give you opportunities to express your emotions more, and at that point you start to learn that. Just like the last comment with the boyfriend, and the girlfriend working out the problems in regards to having the boyfriend express his feelings. It's hard when you've lived the life for so long, and then your asked to express things.
Now in regards to the fact of having emotions, and expressing them, and then looking weak... I believe that's a **** of s h I t... Society as a whole has put that into affect. I believe expressing your emotions, and showing them isn't apart of being weak, creepy, unmanly, or even being looked at as a wussy man, but that's apart of being real. It's apart of looking at who you are as a whole, rather than having your head so far up your a s s. I believe men or more mature, when they have that opportunity in life, and get themselves molded into that better person. Because then at that point, it helps strengthen who they are as human, but also gives them strength enough to handle relationships, and other things that come up within life.
i have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years also, and to tell you the truth, that's one of the main reason we have fought over the years. It is a challenge to work on every day. So I sat down and though to myself why does this really bother me that he can't open up to me even though we have been together so long, and why does it seem that its everyone else's relationship. Everyone else know's what's going on in his head, but when it came to me, he couldn't seem for some reason to tell me how he felt. I figured that it reminded me of my dad, my dad could open up to anyone except my step mom, and I told him that. It really bothered him that I thought that, so he changed not because I asked him too( believe me I tried in everyway to get him to open up) but because he wanted too. He saw a good reason to change how he showed me how he felt. W ehave to work on it everyday but he has been reall y good at trying. I asked my boyfriend why this was, and he said that he didn't want to seem weak and stuff like that. He changed because he didn't want to relate to my dad in anyway that had to do with us dating. Keep working with him, it will take time, but maybe you will have him broken of that habits in 20 years:) lol jkjk Keep your head up, it will be ok
By showing their emotions, they are giving you the power to destroy them. It makes them vulnerable. This is not something guys are usually willing to do, unless they are reallyyyyyy in love, and even then it is extremely difficult. They have an image to maintain, especially the younger generation.
As they get older, they will learn to tell you what you want to hear... Then you have to ask yourself if they mean it or if they are after something else. Play hard to get. If their intentions are bad, they will lose interest long before you give them what they are after.
Guys in general will continue to not show their emotions.. Partly because there are girls out there that actually follow this stereotype of guys not showing their emotions.. And because they fear rejection and not looking masculine.
umm guys like to come off as being like strong so if they show emotions that means there not strong(atleast that's what they think) so they keep everything inside. why do you think when there is death in the family they don't cry.. because they keep everything inside. Men are supposed to be strong so they try not to show weakness.
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The main reason?
Because if men do, they are labeled creepy, weak, unmanly, wussy, and easy.
Being able to emote and showing your emotions are completely different.
Women want guys to be expressive, with gestures, etc.. it has to do with being charismatic.
However, if a guy shows too much interest too soon, he's creepy.
If he shows too much interest later on, he's no longer a challenge, thus he becomes the nice guy, and "boring".
A smart man knows not to and he gets laid.
An ignorant man, aka an inexperienced one, will show his love and be a virgin.
there's your answer.
Here's a life lesson for you. Guys are not made to show their emotions. From a young we're told to tough it out, suck it up and keep going, boys don't cry, and the whole snails, nails, and puppy dog tails thing. Girls on the other hand are taught to be more emotional from a young age. So, now you have a teenage boy, and that's all he is is a boy, and you want him to be the wussy thing that he was taught by society to not be. And believe me, if he was the type of guy that showed his emotions, at this age you probably wouldn't be attracted to that guy anyway. And if you was dating him, he would probably get on your nerve.
Imagine if , ever since you could remember, you were singled out and made fun of EVERY SINGLE TIME you showed your emotions. At least getting publicly humiliated, possibly even going up to getting into fights because of it every single time you did. That's what it's like to be a young male. Hell, some parents hit their boys if they cry.
That's why guys don't show emotions; they've been conditioned never to. It's also why guys place so much emphasis on sex, because it's the only way we've been conditioned to think is okay to show our emotions.
put it like this because there's pretty much no other way to coat it with glaze:
THATS JUST MEN!
men are masculine and women are feminine. men are taught that they aren't to show their emotions because others will think he's a punk-bitch. <--- don't know if that phrase makes any sense but I've said it for years
woman can get away with many things and actions just like men can with others.
men just can't get away with showing their emotions, even when their alone hand in hand with thier women... unless their getting married, of course.
Well I mean I woul under stand I'd they weren't sure if you liked them back bur if they are already with u. Then manbwy they are just not effectionit. If you could and take a loom at my question it's the mixed signals 1 nd tell me what uthink and this just happed right now I just cam back from
lunch an listen to this wow more mixed signals after we got our food we aat down nd she was eating nd texting so then a couple of times she looked at me constanlt a few tomes then my friend asked who she was texting she said her stupid boyfriens y did she say. Ndafter tat she kept looking at me while texting so if she has a boyfriend y does she look at me nd act like she likes me
i personally do show a girl I love her I did with my ex and always have. but the reason being that I wouldn't wanna show my feelings is because trusting someone that much is not an easy thing to do right away a guy wants to feel masculine and when he puts his guard down the feeling of masculinity is gone therefore most guys don't do that to just any girl. give a guy time and if you really don't like it tell them how you feel and I'm sure they will understand and be willing to have an open conversation with you well I hope that helps you at least a little bit
Thats always been the way of the male gender, we are raised not to show our emotions because its an ego issue. Its a way of showing weakness to us if we let our emotions out, that or we are just not comfortable sharing them because we are afraid of rejection. Think about it, how much crap do you think a pro football player was seen crying, what do you think other guys would do if they saw that?
because, brutally honest... women don't know what the hell they want.
say one thing, but actions say something completely different.
you want a guy that shows emotions? then choose a guy that shows his emotions. want a guy to change from not showing emotions to showing? well that's not up to you. you can't change someone like that just because you want them to be different.
you get attracted to guys that don't show their emotions, then want them to change that? funny stuff...
I presonally made the experience that many guys really just don't care for emotions as girls do. Of course society thought guys to be tough so they won't show to many weaknesses.
But many tiny things that girls see guys really don't. There is nothing to it.
For example: If some forgets to phone a girl on her birthday - There girl would probably be p*ssed. The guy wouldn't care.
It's not good or bad to be either way. It's just the way it is.
So explain me... Why do girl want to show emotions (or care about stuff that guy don't care about)? ;)
Because!!!!!!!! were girls well I'm the kinnda girl who would like a guy who showed their emotions
Watch Soccer with him... You'll get emotions there ;)
Guys also just react to different thinks than girls. Girls like flowers, presents and nice words. Guys are attached to soccer, boobs and beer. (pretty much in that order ;))
Most guys that say they are sooo emotional are just saying that to get laid.
But still its not a bad thing.
A "good" guy knows that he has to listen to his girls problems as same as a "good" girl understands that her boy needs to watch the game from time to time.
PS: Make that Boobs, Soccer and Beer... Yeah, that seems to be right ;)
I like emotions but I play soccer I watch hockey and football and understand it hellllll yeaa but yea I don't go out with jerks 99.9% of the time!
Well, I am actually disappointed when girls with A cups stuff their bras. At the other hand I prefer small breasted woman anyway.
But as a matter of fact: If a guy doesn't like you the way you are then dump him.
I'd never judge a girl that has big boobs just because I prefer small breast. I'd tell her its not necessary to do that, but that's all. It's not all about boobs.
But if someone thinks your chest is that big of an issue to be really disappointed he's probably not the smartest person in the room. You should think about it and consider if you really want to keep such a douche.
PS: For the record: Regardless from what you may have heard anonymous studies have proven: Men don't prefer big boobs. Man just like boobs. Size doesn't really matter. Fact. There are preferences but they are individual preferences. But statistically it's really not the quantity that man care about... (that doesn't mean that there not mean that like really big boobs or really small ones...)
ummmmm what's that got to do with emotions?
Well nothing at all I posted this answer to very different thread. I don't know why it shows up here. It doesn't make any sense. I am confused...
I bet this is going to sound like a broken record, but what all of us men are saying is by experience... Either a man is put in the friend zone or he gets left entirely. "Nice guys finish last" isn't just words, it's a known fact! Women aren't attracted to weakness, wussies, or clinginess. Women are attracted to MEN. Women want a challenge, and man to take charge, aggression, confidence. Showing emotion is not any of those when it has to do with men.
I really do believe what women say. But I also know they tend to leave certain requirements out so as to make their gender seem all righteous...
Men have to be vulnerable to a lady, but here's the thing... it works much, much better for good looking guys. Guys who aren't as good looking, even if they're confident and well put together, will still have some slim pickings.
Don't care if you thumbs it down. Just speaking truth.
Because then you don't want to date us I have been through a lot of relationships where girls get mad when I even mention my emotions, and eventually we get tried of trying so we just hide them. Or the girl is hiding hers so we hide ours saves us from either one of us getting hurt but then we don't really have a relationship you know :)
because when men talk about their emotions, they just feel off-balance and vulnerable... plus you learn that it kills attraction pretty quickly to show a girl emotion...
there are guys out there that do it, but its not them you are dating, right? point in fact...
showing emotions in a relationship more often then not reduces the girls interest. that's not to say guys are not affectionate but we learnt from experiance that showing emotions is not a good male quality.
Wow that's weird, I always say but most importanly show my emotions towards the girl that I want to be with or have. Stranger thing is...thats actually been my downfal, how weird is life for some and others indeed.
because it makes them feel like they haven't got control they get afraid so easily that people are going to use them and use there feelings against them.
if they don't show their emotions then it means they only like you for your body.Thats my opinion cause when I love a girl I write her poems, and always take them somewhere. So I guess if you don't if you don't agree, you might need to make ur own analysis.
wow this is such a joke, what do girls want, I was freaking dumped for showing a girl that I loved her, she said I was too clingy
Not really brought up to show emotions. Were different than woman. Not to say that all guys are like that though.
Boys will be booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooys
Cute
Real men don't cry!
Men should be able to discard their emotions and keep things together.
Don't let your guard down, ever!
when we show out emotions you guys take advantage of that. I've seen it happen infront of me that's why I keep my emotions to myself. girls tend to fall for assholes eventually...
Very few girls will actually do that if it was just the 2 of you alone that would be cute and I would be touched that you trusted me enough to show me how you were feeling
Because they're afraid of their feelings not be reciprocated.
cause were not supposed too. once we do it seems they lose a little respect.
because, a guy wants to know what the girl wants first, and usually the guy is unwilling to show that he's vulnerable until he is sure of the girls feelings.
maybe they think it's cause it'll make them look less masculine
I think because the boys aren't like girls. The girls are more sensitive and they show their feelings easier instead,boys are not viewed well by others if they are too sensitive.
cuz its a sign of weakness to us but if he gets you alone he will express himself more
because they appear weak and men don't like feeling vulnerable,its all a game to them whos going to get soft first..lol sad but true.
you boys need to listen to what us girls are saying.
guys that have the ability to cry are on the top of our lists.
showing us your not perfect... being vulnerable with us... its a huge turn on.
I get emotional I don't care what people think
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