Is it OK for guys to bottle up their emotions?

[Anonymous]

I hear allot that girls can't keep their emotions inside and if they do they'll end up being really bitchy, or other problems will occur. But I never hear of guys having issues with holding in their emotions. Are you suddenly a wimp if you don't keep everything inside? And girls what would you think of a guy who talked about his emotions on occasions? Discuss.

Updates

+1 y

Over time it seems like as boys grow into men they lose their feelings. I myself feel a lack of sympathy for most things, which I notice was not always the case when I was younger. I wonder if its society around us that makes us this way or is it natural?

Updates

+1 y

It appears to be true. Society has turned us all into robots made in a factory line!

[nermalinda]

interesting question.

i am a girl and also a holder in of emotions. lol

personally, I would say this causes me a lot of internal turmoil, and there are definitely times where I feel like I either wish I could blow up and let it all out, or I am afraid I might. there have been very few times in my life where I have blown up and yelled at someone in a crazy way, but that's about it.

i think this comes from somehow not being able to let out small emotions, and then they build up and get too intense to let out in a normal way. so they are hard to let out at all. and I pretty much think it's a similar process for guys.

i think some girls and some guys are more emotional and some of both genders are less emotional, so I think that explains why some guys don't really have as much of a problem holding it in.

but I am also curious about societal conditioning in terms of becoming more numb, because I think personally, I become more sensitive instead of more numb over time. when I was younger, it seemed easier to dissociate and block out feelings, and as they have built up, little things impact me more (positive or negative).

i think it's important to be able to control emotions, but I also think it's very important to have them and pay attention to them as I think we must have them for a reason. I guess in a perfect world, those poles would be balanced, but I think in general, girls are encouraged to be overly emotional while guys are encouraged to be under emotional. and I do think social influence is huge and seriously impacts most people.

so while I think it could be more natural to become better at dealing with emotions as a person ages, I also think society does its darndest to train us into certain patterns...

[Asker]

Its a shame to say that while we are all individuals and see and feel things differently. Society has branded us with this "way" of life that no individual can fully escape. Meaning its hard to be different when you never learned how to.

[shannonann]

i personally know a few guys who are sensitive. but with the way my dad has been my whole life I've just been used to a guy who doesn't talk about his emotions. this resulted in 20 almost 30 years of built up emotions he had been holding in, he broke down. he cried. I have never in 18 years of my life seen my father cry. I was so shocked I didn't know hoe to respond. I comforted him though because I didn't want him to feel bad. where as my sister and mom just sat there dumb founded with there mouths open. so despite the fact that I've grown up with the "tough man" around, any man should have the will to speak of there emotions. you can't hold these things in. it helps and its very theraputic as well. so I'd say its natural.

[Anonymous]

I'd feel a lot better about a guy if he talked about his feelings every once in a while for a few reasons.

For one, I could be sure that he wouldn't suddenly snap and strangle me to death because I've been doing something for years that he secretly hates.

For another, it always freaks me out when someone's behavior changes /just enough/ to be noticeable, but they refuse to talk about why there was a change.

I start imagining all sorts of horrible scenarios, and if a guy I knew / was in a relationship with just kept everything to himself, I would feel unsafe, untrustworthy, etc.

Plus, it takes a really manly man to be confident enough in his own manhood to be able to talk about his feelings.

[Mesonfielde]

Though there are times when there's just nothing to hide as there isn't anything to be hidden.

[Opinion Owner]

okay? xD Obviously I'm not saying he'd need to tell me everything all the time.

I'm saying that if there's something he IS hiding, it'd be best to get it out.

[TigerRoseBear]

I held in my emotions for a while, and then suddenly yesterday couldn't hold them in. I got really, REALLY pissed off and started getting really mad at someone I know. I ended up really hurting their feelings, and I regret that. I'm still probably gonna keep in my feelings most of the time, since I'm not usually the kind of guy to tell people all my negative feelings (I don't mind telling them my positive feelings, though). I'm just gonna try to deal with them better haha.

It really depends on the guy. If he can really feel the feelings building up, it's better to let them out before they really explode. (I myself didn't actually feel them building up, but I knew some were there.) If he's good at holding them in, by all means, he can hold them in. It's his choice.

As for your update, it's probably a bit of both. I mean, as boys we cry, and then through puberty we start to handle our feelings better. So that part is natural. But I'm sure society makes it seem wimpy or feminine when a man has a lot of feelings.

Cool question! :)

[Mesonfielde]

Well, I've realized that being overwhelmed by negative emotions is always destructive, but without any negatives there are also no positives. Therefore, if you want to be a man who doesn't ever bitch about anything because you don't feel that, well you'll suppress all other emotions as well.

This is a by-product of our wonderful society and out stupendously amazing gender roles that hinder humans in the development and progression of individuality. And you cannot get by as a male who still has emotions..girls expect you not to have them.

Oh and those wondering what guys feel - I for one know, that I don't even know that myself.

[Anonymous]

Guys tend to bottle up the way they feel because some don't know how to express their emotions.

I think it is better to let a person know how you feel instead of bottling it up inside because,then how can you be helped.I'd never think a guy is wimp for letting out how he feels,I'd appreciate that he felt comfortable enough to talk to me about how he feels and it makes things harder if people just bottle things up inside,it doesn't get you anywhere.

[assembledtoy]

It's not okay. It's never okay to bottle emotions. But that doesn't stop me from doing it so I won't freak out, but I always end up doing something stupid at the end.

[TigerRoseBear]

Update: No it hasn't. I just said that it's both: it comes naturally, and society boosts it a bit.

[Asker]

But if Society reversed its effect and instead made people more open to their feelings then wouldn't you agree people would be more expressive. Just take the era where William Shakespeare was born, people were way more artistic and expressive as a whole. It made the creation of many fantastic pieces still praised to this day. Society doesn't only boost what's natural, it molds it.

[TigerRoseBear]

Yeah, you might be right... but does it really matter if society shapes guys, as long as they don't mind it? And remember, society is made up of people. It's not like society is this higher being forcing guys to be a certain way. And society is always changing, so that would explain your example. You could say that society forced guys back then to be emotional and romantic - otherwise girls wouldn't want them if they weren't sensitive enough. But you know society didn't actually force them haha.

[Asker]

Yeah nobody is forced to be anything they don't want to be. Which is why I'm going to try to reverse my desensitizing and be more expressive! No matter how weird I come across. :)

[TigerRoseBear]

Sounds good to me :)

[Anonymous]

i would love to hear guys emotions. I feel like they always hold back and feel as if they have to be this "tough macho man"